Mother–daughter communication on intimate relationships: narratives from Mangaung Township (Bloemfontein, South Africa)

English: Good communication skills and conversations on intimate relationships between mothers and daughters have a positive influence on young people’s intimate relationships, sexual development and behaviour. This study explores conversations on intimate relationships between African mothers and their daughters in Mangaung Township, Bloemfontein, South Africa. The willingness, extent, content, and quality of communication on intimate relationships between daughters and their mothers, are the main focus of this study. The responses of the research are juxtaposed and compared to explore the respective angles, similar or divergent understandings and the barriers encountered in these conversations. This is important because research indicates that women are more vulnerable to sexually risky behaviour with the potential for serious consequences such as unplanned pregnancies or HIV infection. In light of the high prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV and AIDs and unplanned pregnancies it is essential to scrutinise the mother–daughter communication on intimate relationships. This qualitative study is guided by the interpretivist paradigm. Theoretical lenses followed in the study include, phenomenology, existential sociology and feminist perspectives. Nine in-depth interviews were conducted with mothers and their daughters. These mother-daughter conversations take place in diverse domestic situations and fragile household compositions with the daughters’ fathers mostly being absent. In spite of the complex family dynamics, both mothers and their daughters consider their conversations on sex and reproductive health important. However, both parties were reluctant to talk and conversation was often only initiated following a precursory event (e.g. pregnancy or television programmes). The conversations were characterised as didactic, confrontational, and instructional and framed by cultural mores. The mothers’ focus was to warn, threaten and discourage their daughters from sexual activities. Certain topics like HIV and AIDS, pregnancy, menstruation were emphasised at the expense of other topics. Pleasure and emotional aspects of relationships were rarely considered. While the mother is the preferred primary source of information by both mothers and daughters, the latter tend to talk more openly to their friends and felt they received more information during sex education in schools. The study shows that the mothers often feel poorly equipped to conduct effective discussions on intimate relationships with their daughters because of embarrassment, lack of knowledge and socialisation of silence around sexual topics. Generally in these conversations sex has been reduced to a void and dangerous act and lack aspects such as emotions, love, desire and pleasure and partner choices.