Mother–daughter communication on intimate relationships: narratives from Mangaung Township (Bloemfontein, South Africa)

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Date
2015
Authors
Gumede, Ntombizonke Agnes
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Publisher
University of the Free State
Abstract
English: Good communication skills and conversations on intimate relationships between mothers and daughters have a positive influence on young people’s intimate relationships, sexual development and behaviour. This study explores conversations on intimate relationships between African mothers and their daughters in Mangaung Township, Bloemfontein, South Africa. The willingness, extent, content, and quality of communication on intimate relationships between daughters and their mothers, are the main focus of this study. The responses of the research are juxtaposed and compared to explore the respective angles, similar or divergent understandings and the barriers encountered in these conversations. This is important because research indicates that women are more vulnerable to sexually risky behaviour with the potential for serious consequences such as unplanned pregnancies or HIV infection. In light of the high prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV and AIDs and unplanned pregnancies it is essential to scrutinise the mother–daughter communication on intimate relationships. This qualitative study is guided by the interpretivist paradigm. Theoretical lenses followed in the study include, phenomenology, existential sociology and feminist perspectives. Nine in-depth interviews were conducted with mothers and their daughters. These mother-daughter conversations take place in diverse domestic situations and fragile household compositions with the daughters’ fathers mostly being absent. In spite of the complex family dynamics, both mothers and their daughters consider their conversations on sex and reproductive health important. However, both parties were reluctant to talk and conversation was often only initiated following a precursory event (e.g. pregnancy or television programmes). The conversations were characterised as didactic, confrontational, and instructional and framed by cultural mores. The mothers’ focus was to warn, threaten and discourage their daughters from sexual activities. Certain topics like HIV and AIDS, pregnancy, menstruation were emphasised at the expense of other topics. Pleasure and emotional aspects of relationships were rarely considered. While the mother is the preferred primary source of information by both mothers and daughters, the latter tend to talk more openly to their friends and felt they received more information during sex education in schools. The study shows that the mothers often feel poorly equipped to conduct effective discussions on intimate relationships with their daughters because of embarrassment, lack of knowledge and socialisation of silence around sexual topics. Generally in these conversations sex has been reduced to a void and dangerous act and lack aspects such as emotions, love, desire and pleasure and partner choices.
Afrikaans: Goeie kommunikasievaardighede en gesprekke tussen moeders en dogters oor intieme verhoudings het ‘n positiewe invloed op jong mense se intieme verhoudings, seksuele ontwikkeling en gedrag. Hierdie studie ondersoek gesprekke oor intieme verhoudings tussen Afrika moeders en hulle dogters in die Mangaung Township, Bloemfontein, Suid Afrika. Die hoof fokus van hierdie studie is die bereidwilligheid, omvang, inhoud en kwaliteit oor intieme verhoudings tussen moeders en dogters. Die terugwerking van die navorsing is in jukstaposisie en word vergelyk met die onderskeie benaderings, soortgelyke of uiteenlopende verstandhoudings en die grense wat in hierdie gesprekke gevind is. Dit is belangrik, want navorsing toon dat vrouens is meer kwesbaar vir potensiële ernstige nadele soos onbeplande swangerskap of HIV infeskie deur seksuele gewaagde gedrag. Dit is van essensiële belang om moeder en dogter kommunikasie oor intieme verhoudings noukeurig te ondersoek deur die algemeenheid van seksueel oordraagbare siektes, wat HIV en Vigs insluit en onbeplande swangerskap, aan die lig te bring. 4 Hierdie kwalitatiewe studie is deur die interpretivistiese paradigme gelei. Die teoretiese lense wat in die studie gebruik is sluit fenomenologie, eksistensiele sosiologie en feministieste perspektiewe in. Nege indiepte onderhoude was met moeders en hulle dogters gevoer. Hierdie moeder en dogter gesprekke vind plaas in verskeie domestiese situasies van ‘n swak huishoudelike aard waar die dogter se vader afwesig is. Beide die ma en die dogter beskou hulle kommunikasie oor seks en voortplantingsgesondheid belangrik ten spyte van die komplekse familie dinamika. Albei partye was huiwerig om te praat en gesprekke was egter gereeld begin na ‘n voorafgaande gebeurtenis, byvoorbeeld swangerskap of TV programme. Die gesprekke was opvoedkundig, konfrontasioneel, instruksioneel en kultuur gebonde norme van aard. Die moeders se fokusse was om hulle dogters te waarsku, dreig en bang te maak oor seksuele aktiwiteite. Sekere onderwerpe soos HIV, Vigs, swangerskap en menstruasie was beklemtoon ten koste van ander onderwerpe. Plesier en emosionele aspekte van verhoudings is skaars oorweeg. Al verkies die moeders en die dogters dat die moeder die primêre bron van inligting moet wees, is die laasgenoemde meer geneig om openlik met hulle vriende te praat en hulle voel hulle kry meer inligting tydens seksvoorligting in die skole. Die studie wys dat moeders voel soms swak toegerus om doeltreffende gesprekke met hulle dogters oor intieme verhoudings te hê as gevolg van ongemak, ‘n tekort aan kennis en die sosiale norm om in nie oor seksuele onderwerpe te praat nie. Gewoonlik word seks in hierdie gesprekke verklein tot ‘n leë en gevaarlike daad wat geen aspekte soos emosies, liefde, plesier en keuse van maats het nie.
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Keywords
HIV and AIDS, Mother-daughter communication, Sexual and reproductive health, Intimate relationships, Sex communication, Sex education, Unplanned pregnancy, Absent fathers, Mothers and daughters -- South Africa -- Bloemfontein, Communication in families, Parenting -- Relationships, Intamacy (Psychology), Dissertation (M.Soc.Sc. (Sociology))--University of the Free State, 2015
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