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Universiteit Vrystaat
HIERDIE EKSEMPLAAR MAG ONDERl
GEEN OMSTANDIGHEDE UIT DIE
BIBLIOTEEK VERWYDER WORD NIE
FAMILY ETHICS FOR AFRICA
Andrew Zachariah Mapitse
A thesis submitted to meet the requirements for the degree of
MAGISTER ARTIUM in the Faculty of Arts (Department of
Philosophy) of the University of the Orange Free State.
1998
Supervisor: Prof. J.H. Smit
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I can never thank my family enough for their support and
encouragement without which this study would not have
been possible.
I am most deeply grateful to Messrs. Hans Moeti and
Tebatso Joel Morobe for assisting me with relevant study
material.
I also want to thank Mr. S.S. Sebi tloane from a full
heart for supplying me with valuable information relating
to the customs of the Tswana people.
I thank Rev. Father Emmanuel Mosoeu very warmly indeed
for his interest and for his most helpful advice.
lowe Mrs. J. van Bosch a debt of gratitude for typint
this work for me and for the corrections she had to make.
Finally I am much indebted to Professor J.H. Smit for the
incomparable assistance he has given me throughout the
writing of this thesis.
ANDREW ZACHARIAH MAPITSE
FAMILY ETHICS FOR AFRICA
A Z MAPITSE
CONTENTS
Page
Foreword
Chapter 1 Introduction 1
Chapter 2 Meta-ethical considerations 12
2.1 Anthropology 12
2.2 Social Philosophy 24
2.3 Criteria used to differentiate
between social structures 30
2.4 The Structure of Marriage and family 33
2.5 Structure of the family according
to Dooyeweerd 42
Chapter 3 Family life 56
3.1 Social meaning of family 56
3.2 Family and education 68
3.3 Family and church 72
3.4 Family and public morality 75
3.5 Family planning 79
3.6 Abortion/termination of pregnancy 80
3.7 Adoption 82
3.8 Single parent families 83
3.9 Divorce 84
3.10 Street children 85
3.11 Family authority and discipline 88
3.12 Children's adventures and parental
support 92
Chapter 4 Traditional family life and factors that
led to its disintegration 94
4.1 Family life in Africa 94
4.2 Communal experience versus
individualist 103
4.3 Changing social patterns 109
Chapter 5 Ethics - A historical and meta-ethical
survey 115
5.1 A brief look at history 115
"
5.2 My personal view of the scope of
ethics 123
5.3 The positive contribution of
ubuntu 134
Chapter 6 Social engineering and the family in
Africa 154
Chapter 7 The role of religion in social
reconstruction 170
Conclusion 184
Bibliography 194
-1-
INTRODUCTION
In one of Guy De Maupassant's short stories "The love of
long ago", he has some commentary on the social ethics of
the eighteenth century.
"It is love that is sacred" she said. "Listen
child, to an old woman who has seen three
generations and who has had a long, long
experience of men and women. Marriage and love
have nothing in common. We marry to found a
family and we cannot dispense with marriage.
If society is a chain, each family is a link in
that chain. In order to weld those links we
always seek for metals of the same kind. When
we marry we must bring together suitable
conditions; we must combine fortunes, uni te
similar races and aim at the common interest,
which are riches and children. We marry only
once, my child, because the world requires us
to do so, but we may love twenty times in one
lifetime because nature has made us able to do
so. Marriage, you see, is a law, and love is
an instinct which impels us sometimes along a
straight and sometimes a crooked path. The
world has made laws to combat our instincts -
it was necessary to make them but our
instincts are always stronger, and we ought not
to resist them too much because they come from
God, while the laws only come from men. If we
did not perfume life with love, as much love as
possible, darling, as we put sugar into drugs
for children, nobody would care to take it just
as it is" (De Maupassant, 1947:217).
-2-
The grandmother in this extract, objects to the view
(which her grand-daughter also shares) that marriage is
sacred. She maintains that marriage will last for
eterni ty since there is something like 'honour' involved
in every marital relationship one enters into:
"In my time verses were written to teach men to
love every woman. And we! - When we liked a
gentleman, my child, we sent him a page. And
when fresh caprice came into our hearts we were
not slow in getting rid of the last lover
unless we kept both of them.u
The charming "healthy logicU of the philosophers of
gallantry of the eighteenth century can hardly solve the
social problems of Africa. Ironically De Maupassant
appreciates marriage as a link in the chain of society
but does not blink at putting it at risk (this is true of
his short stories in general) .
Unfortunately something of this kind also happened to the
mentali ty of the African communi ty. In spite of the
strong communalistic character, marriage is not respected
as an essential social institution anymore. Contrary to
what has been said in this short story, marriage and love
have much in common. Marriage is perfected in a life-
long partnership of mutual love and commitment. It is an
intimate relationship of one person with the other. The
same can be said of love. Love is an ideal attitude of
people towards one another. It concerns people's lives
and social structures in which they live their lives.
The main purpose of marriage is not to found a family.
There are elderly people who have long passed the age of
being able to procreate but who decide to marry and live
as husband and wife. Clearly, there is something like
-3-
love enabling two people to live together as partners in
everything, for the rest of their lives.
Families are pillars of our society because they prepare
the young for important roles in society. Without them
there can be no society. Societies are not structures by
man but the result of God'~ ordinances.
Coming again to De Maupassant's views I should like to
point out the following points:
(a) that marriages are not founded on material
possessions;
(b) that marriages entered into for convenience always
have problems in the end;
(c) that marriage knows no racial barriers; and lastly
(d) that the norms for marriage were laid down by the
Lord.
The Scriptures warn us emphatically that what God has
joined together no man should put asunder. It would
however, be useless to attempt to force couples to live
together even when it is quite clear that their marriage
cannot be saved. Hence divorce is permitted under
extreme situations and couples who have been finally
separated are free to marry again.
Marriage is not primarily a legal agreement but an
ethically qualified institution. It has a legal side of
course. The law provides for the protection of the
rights of those who enter into it and for the protection
of the rights of possible children. Apart from this
legal side, there is also a spiritual side, to which I
-4-
wil refer at the end of this thesis. But in essence a
marriage is a love-relationship between two people. This
is the nucleaus of it.
The ethical modality is not something that can be added
to our lives, it is part of everyone of us. It is a gift
but also a charge. The ethical as a mormati ve modality
challenges us from moment to moment to obey the relevant
norms norms for marriage for example like equity,
communion, harmony.
The granddaughter in this short story by De Maupassant,
seems to have a better view of marriage than her
grandmother. To her marriage is sacred while her
grandmother is of the opinion that a person is free to
love consecutive lovers without any restraint. In
addition the grandmother accepts that there is nothing
wrong with a man or a woman who gets rid of a lover. In
the old woman's view relations can be terminated
unilaterally.
Instead of being of any help in Africa the advice
contained in this story will lead African men and women
further astray because it encourages men to 'love every
women' and it encourages women to get rid of their
husbands when fresh caprice comes into their hearts.
People need to understand that marriage is instituted by
God; that husband and wife becorne'partners for the rest
of their lives; that men cannot end their marriages
unilaterally, that the fibre of our community life cannot
be separated from the quality of our marriages and
families.
There is a great need for solutions to the problems which
face us in Africa as the Twentieth Century draws to a
close.
-5-
Cases of sexually transmitted diseases and the number of
children born with HIVare reaching alarming proportions.
These children end up in children's homes as their
parents will have nothing to do with them. The number of
street children in our cities is rising at a fast rate
and so is the number of childre~ born out of wedlock who
are often dumped in dustbins or left in the hospitals to
swell the number of children who have to be cared for by
the state or be given away for adoption. According to
recent statistics, of black children born in South Africa
in 1989/90, 69.8% were born out of wedlock (Cullinan,
1996:16-17) .
Trial marriages are widely accepted hence their rapid
increase particularly among black Africans. In these
unions, women who cannot conceive and give birth to
children are expelled. African women are thus reduced to
the status of 'machines' as it were, to manufacture
babies.
As indicated earlier marriage and family are pillars of
society. We therefore have to change those lifestyles
which, in my opinion, are responsible for the social
evils found on our continent. Should the pillars of
society crumble therefore, our democracy will stagger.
Marital love lays a strong foundation for a happy family
life while parental love.draws children closer to their
parents. Contemporary workers such as sociologists,
philosophers, ethicists and ministers of religion stress
these points, but the idea can be traced to Aristotle .
He stressed that:
The friendship of kinsmen itself, while it
seems to be of many kinds, appears to depend in
every case on parental friendship; for parents
-6-
love their children as being a part of
themselves, and children their parents as
having themselves originated from them
(Aristotle, 1972:212-213).
By comparison, the 'friendship' and love children have
for their fathers and the 'friendship' and love men have
for God is sronger than any other.
The friendship of children to parents, and of
men to gods, is a relation to them as to
something good and superior; for they have
conferred the greatest benefits, since they are
the cause of their being and of their
nourishment, and of their education from their
birth; and this kind of friendship possesses
pleasantness and utility also, more than that
of strangers, inasmuch as the i r life is lived
more in common (Aristotle, 1972:213).
The problem of men and women having more than one sexual
partner is not peculiar to our age. It dates back to the
age of Plato and is also referred to in the Scriptures.
Plato was of the opinion that the practice of free love
cannot be stopped by the intervention of the state:
It may be that my present proposals are no
more than the aspirations of a pious
imagination, though I assure you any society
would find their realization a supreme
blessing. However, by God's help, we might not
impossibly enforce one or other of two rules
for sexual love. One would be that no freeborn
citizen should dare to touch any but his own
wedded wife, and that there should be no sowing
of unhallowed and bastard seed with concubines,
-7-
and no sterile and unnatural intercourse with
males. Failing this, we may suppress such
relations with males utterly, and as for women,
if a man should have to do with any - whether
acquired by purchase or in any way whatsoever -
save those who have entered the house with the
sanction of heaven and holy matrimony, and his
act become known to man or woman, we shall
probably be pronounced to do well by enacting
that he be deprived of the honours of a
citizen, as one that proves himself an alien
indeed. So, whether this be taken as one
single statute, or should rather be called two,
let it stand as our law in the matter of sex
and the whole business of love, our rule of
right and wrong in all relations inspired by
those passions (Plato, 1973:1406).
Fear of God, desire of honorable distinction;
and the development of the passion for a beauty
which is spiritual, not physical. It may be
that my present proposals are no more than the
aspirations of a pious imagination, though I
assure you any society would find their
realization a supreme blessing. However, by
God's help, we might not impossibly enforce one
or other of two rules for sexual love. One
would be that no freeborn citizen should dare to
touch any but his own wedded wife, and· that
there should be no sowing of unhallowed and
bastard seed with concubines, and no sterile and
unnatural intercourse with males (Plato,
1973:841 c-e).
The concern with marriage and family is of course not
restricted to antiquity. Concerned also about the
-8-
breaking up of marriages, the Roman Catholic Church
mentions the following factors which are responsible for
disharmony in marriages:
Every man experiences evil around him and
wi thin himself. This experience makes itself
felt in ~he relationship between man and woman.
Their union has always been threatened by
discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity,
jealousy and conflicts that can escalate into
hatred and separation. This disorder can
manifest itself more or less acutely and can be
more or less overcome according to the
circumstances of culture, eras and individuals,
but it does seem to have a universal character
(The Catechism of the Catholic Church,
1994:375) .
God's plan for marriage is stated as follows:
The matrimonial convenant by which a man and a
woman establish between themselves a
partnership of the whole of life is by its
nature ordered towards the good of the spouses
and the procreation and education of offspring;
this convenant between baptised persons has
been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity
of a sacrament (The Cathechism of The Catholic
Church, 1994:394).
Social workers and sociologists have tried to find
solutions to the problems without success. Marriage
counsellors have also attempted to give pre-marital
guidance, still so many marriages are short-lived.
-9-
Many disciplines fail to make an impact on man because
they exclude God the author of nature. God created man
with a purpose and a definite mission to accomplish. As
manager of God's creation man has definite tasks to
perform. His responsibility towards creation is always a
normative responsibility. God's norms are guidelines,
the directional pointers, the instructions for
responsible cultural activity (Van der Walt 1997:58)
The Christian approach to our problems is in my opinion,
the only approach which can provide solutions. Man's
happiness, as I said, depends on obedience to God's
ordinances.
The following are brief explanations of the contents of
the different chapters of this thesis:
Chapter 2 is devoted to the Christian Anthropology and
Social Philosophy. Themes that are addressed are: the
notion of man as image bearer of God, man's stewardship
of creation, normativity, responsibility, etc.
The structure of society is the next subj ect in this
chapter. Different relationships (intercommunal and
interpersonal) are examined here. The changes they bring
about and the issue of authority are addressed.
This chapter ends with an analysis of the structure of
marriage ~nd family. Marriage is analysed as the Lord's
institution for man and woman.
In Chapter 3 we examine family forms which are found in
history, the extended family, the nuclear family and the
single-parent families.
-10-
Apart from these there is a problem which is rearing its
head all over the world, that of gay marriages which are
however not yet universally accepted.
In Chapter 4 a comparison is made between the African
communal experience and the individualistic Western
approach. According to African culture, communi ty is of
the utmost importance while according to Western culture,
to be an individual is to be human and to be human means
to be an individual. This chapter ends with an
examination of the reasons for the changes that are
taking place in our societies in Africa.
In Chapter 5 we examine the nature of ethics. Here we
learn that ethics has to concern itself with the morally
qualified problems that are facing us in life. Separate
paragraphs are devoted to the study of ubuntu and ujamaa,
their contribution and how they affect various spheres of
our lives.
Chapter 6 deals with various socializing agents like the
television, the radio and the school and their impact on
family life.
In Chapter 7 the part played by religion in social
reconstruction is discussed fully. Religion provides
unquestioned goals of life for its adherents. Without it
there can be no culture. It is also the sustaining
ground for the ethos of a community.
The method of research is the conventional one for the
humanities a bibliographical study. Philosophical,
religious, social and anthropological sources were
consulted.
-11-
Secondly - I have interviewed as many people as possible
to gather more information relating to different
cultures.
The ideological paradigm at the foundation of this thesis
is the Christian view. By conviction the Roman Catholic
~raditiori influences my argument but I took note of what
was written on ethics from the Reformational viewpoint.
-12-
CHAPTER 2: META-ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS
THE CHRISTIAN VIEW OF MAN
2.1 Anthropology
The questions which every human being asks himself
especially at the time of personal crises are: What is
it to be human? Who am I? Do I really matter? What is
the meaning of my life? The answers to these questions
are not always given in a scholarly manner because they
come straight from the heart and are deeply rooted, as
Strauss (1995:41) rightly points out. They are founded
in the ultimate commitments of the human heart.
Various disciplines attempt, each in its own way, to find
out who man is, therefore the question: What is it to be
human? can be seen as not only a religious or pre-
theoretical question, but also as a scientific question.
(a) In a religious, pre-theoretical sense, the question
focuses on the origin, nature and destiny of man, it
is founded on an act of faith which derives from
some or other revelation.
(b) In a scientific sense as Smit (1997:1) points out,
the question "What is man?" emphasizes the
structural diversity and interdependence of
transient human life in all its modalities,
structures and relationships.
Before going on to deal with the different aspects (of
man) it is appropriate to start with a definition of man.
According to Van der Walt (1994:170):
-13-
Man is a very complex and dynamic configuration
of a variety of functions, centrally directed
in all his actions in terms of his religious
commitment.
Strauss (1995:41) defines man as follows:
A human person is a God-created, timely, bodily
whole, structurally integrated in a within-and-
yet-beyond-time religious heart accepting or
denying the responsibility of loving and
serving God and humanity whole-heartedly.
As indicated earlier various disciplines attempt to
answer the questions put above and also to study man's
origin. Some define man 'as a highly developed animal'
while others define him as a conglomerate of body and
soul. The discipline which in my opinion has a relevant
answer to the question: What is it to be human? is
Philosophical Anthropology which may be defined as
follows:
Philosophical Anthropology is the theory of the
human person and humanity which attempts to
uncover the origin, normative character and
destiny of man, and which provides a structural
analysis of the temporal embodied human person
as a heart-centered whole (Smit 1997:3).
REVELATION .AND BEING HUMAN
The ultimate questions concerning man, transcends
empirical reality. The issues of the origin and
destination of man for example, cannot be answered in
terms of scientific results. They refer to convictions.
-14-
Without God's revelation it is not possible to understand
what it means to be human. This revelation is to be
found in God's creation which is brought into focus by
the story of the Bible. The Bible does not provide us
with an elaborated theoretical understanding of being
human but it does however, uncover the ultimate meaning
of being human which has to do with the relationship in
which the human person stands to God. As Strauss
(1995:43) points out:
A Biblical understanding of being human has to
do with the reality of being human in the face
of God.
From the above it is quite clear that an understanding of
what it means to be human cannot be limited to the
temporal bodily existence of ways of being a human
person. It is necessary to gain religious understanding
of the origin, meaning and destiny of the human person
(Ouweneel, 1986:26-30; Smit, 1992:17-18) cited by
strauss (1995:43).
MAN AS THE IMAGE OF GOD
All humans bear God's image. Despite the sins we commit
this image remains unaffected. In the Garden of Eden,
Adam turned his back on God. His fall or rather man's
fall from grace did not turn him into an animal or demon.
Man does not lose the image of God with his fall from
grace. He remains as Smit (1992:12) points out, a human
person.
Even those who do not believe in God betray the image of
God by their religious restlessness. Xhosas have a
saying: "Unyawo aluna mpumlo". Do not treat a stranger
disrespectfully as you may come face to face with him in
-15-
his hometown one day. In fact, respect for personhood
plays a central role in ethics.
The fullness of the image of God is opened up when a
person experiences a change of direction and becomes a
child of God, that is, by beginning to live according to
the ultimate religious call to love within a changing,
renewing relationship of total dependence on God (Smit,
1992:11) .
Definition of the image of God:
The image of God is the creaturely existence of
the human person as child of God in dynamic
religious dependence on God through obedience
to the central religious call to love in
Christ.
Man's place in the universe
God placed man above all creatures. Man did not gain
this position through his own genius. Psalm 8:4-6 sums
it all:
What is man that you think of him; ...
You crowned him with glory and honour,
You appointed him ruler over everything you made
You placed him over all creation ...
God's creational ordinances determine the structure and
behaviour of all things created by Him. Because of man's
central position in reality all of creation is involved
with humanity in one way or the other. Thus the
relationship between God and creation is wholly mediated
through humanity (Dooyeweerd, 1953:55, 175) cited by
Strauss (1995:43).
-16-
Man as a responsible being
Every human is free to make choices subject to specific
norms (Ps 119:32,45). Every choice that is made is a
decision either to obey or disobey God in a given
situati~n in which we find ourselves. No choice is made
outside the context of particular human relationships.
The fact that we are responsible/accountable/answerable
indicates that we are indeed dependent on God. Man's
action should be seen as a reaction to God's initiating,
judging, sustaining and renewing action (Strauss,
1995:44).
Each human being shares this responsibility with the rest
of humanity in all their societal relationships
answerable to God. In the beginning man had a single
all-embracing responsibility to act as steward over God's
creation as David makes it clear in the above Psalm.
With man's fall from grace this responsibility was
interfered with but not abolished. Through Christ's
intervention and redeeming work this responsibility is
once again affirmed.
Being human means standing in relation to others
Men and women form the corporate whole known as humanity.
Therefore integrally interwoven with being human is being
a fellow-creature to other human beings. People in
various relationships are therefore not simply assembled
individuals, but are in relationship part of an ultimate
spiritual community (Strauss, 1995:45).
-17-
Olthuis (1975:3) shares this view. According to him at
its roots humani ty is cohumani ty, that is, all men are
associates. He rounds up his statement as follows:
To be anything less is to fail to be fully human.
Taylor (1994:34) has the following valuable contribution:
My own identity crucially depends on my
dialogical relations with others.
What Taylor means here is that human identity is created
dialogically in response to our relations including our
actual dialogue with others. John Donne (cited by
Bronowcki 1966: 12) in Devotions expresses the same view
as follows:
No man is an island, entire of itselfe, every
man is a piece of the continent, a part of the
maine, any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankinde.
Christ mentions the word neighbour in his teaching.
One's neighbour is not only someone who lives near one
but is also someone with whom one shares various
experiences in life. Christ could not think of a person
who lives all by himself. This strongly supports the
view that "being human is being in relation to others".
Man as one whole being
Various views have been given about the uni ty of man.
Democritus' view of man is that man is composed of parts
- atoms.
-18-
According to Van Peursen and Luther man consists of
spirit, soul, and body. The Bible uses various terms
with which to describe being human. It applies such
terms as soul, spirit, heart, body and innermost being.
In the Biblical sense these terms are not intended to
indicate that man consists of parts. Therefore, despite
the variety of terms which the Bible applies it becomes
clear from a study of what the Bible uncovers about being
human, that the human person is a single whole.
The fact that we consider the human person as a single
whole should not lead us into believing that it is wrong
to speak of a duality. We speak of a duality for
instance when we consider that a human being has a body
and a heart. We speak of the body when we view man from
outside and of the soul if we focus on the inward
religious heart or personality centre. These are not two
separate parts of the human person. Both refer to the
single whole.
Man does not have a body, he is a body. The age-old
belief that a human being consists of body, soul and
spirit is not only misleading but is also unsupported by
Biblical information. Strauss, (1995:46) makes the
following contribution:
A person is a single bodily functioning unit
founded in physical-chemical functions and
directed by selfho6d. Every constitutive
factor of this configuration including its
bloody-fleshly base, is human only because of
the nature of the whole self structure.
But, of course, working in dualistic vein is typical of
anthropological discourse. This is part of our Greek-
Thomistic tradition in theology and philosophy. The
-19-
inherent danger is of course to degrade the body - and
secular institutions.
Human beings are religious creatures
Man is a religious being. As a religious being he has to
surrender himself completely to God. He cannot, as Van
der Walt (1995:171) says, retain his life for himself and
also give some of it to God. Religion means surrender:
totally and radically.
In the discussion of this aspect it is essential that we
look at the human heart since it is the religious centre
of human existence. Africans regard the heart as man's
worst enemy:
Sera se seholo sa motho ke pelo (man's greatest enemy is
his heart) .
This is true of people who respect nothing, people whose
main desire in life is to amass riches for themselves,
selfish and greedy, people who have no sympathy at all
for others. This, of course, is not true of people in
general. In general it is therefore not right to regard
man's heart as his worst enemy. The heart makes being
human possible. All our personal choices come from the
heart. "Guard your heart more than any treasure, for it
is the source of all life" (Proverbs 4: 23) . Our
personhood depends largely on the personal decisions we
make: to do or not to do, to obey or not to obey, to
follow Christ or not to follow him. These are choices
which make us the type of people we are. Being human is
also being subject to the law which God gives us to serve
as guidelines for us within the covenant. By adhering to
the law I become a true human image and co-worker of God
and I consequently experience the fullness of life (cf
-20-
Smit, 1995:37). The cosmic law-order is centred in the
central commandment of love.
In Dooyeweerd's view the heart is
the integral and radical unity of all the
temporal functions and structures of reality,
which ought to be directed in the human spirit
toward the absolute origin, in the personal
commitment of love and service of God and one's
neighbour (Dooyeweerd 1953:174).
Berkouwer (1959:221) makes the following contribution:
The heart concerns man's total orientation,
focus and concentration in and out of his
heart, the depth-dimension, which guides and
marks man's entire existence. The one who
gives his heart to the Lord gives his whole
life.
Indeed, if man's heart is focused on Christ he is
fulfilling the law but if it is not he shall be carving
his way to his own doom.
Man as a duality of sexes
God created manki~d male and female. The two sexes are
different yet similar in their humanity, and they belong
together. Therefore man cannot be defined without woman
and woman cannot be defined without man. This indicates
at once that man and woman are created as equal partners
and as helpmates to each other everywhere and in
everything, not just in marriage (Olthuis 1975:4).
-21-
The Bible acknowledges the sexual difference but nowhere
does it mention that the one sex is superior to the
other. Regrettably in various countries including
Africa, women are regarded as inferior human beings and
are treated like children. This mistaken view was also
held by Aristotle who claimed that a woman is an
imperfect man. The Scriptures deny this popular notion
very strongly. God did not create woman as a second-
class citizen. Numerous examples can be quoted to
support this view. In African countries women run their
homes independently while their husbands are away at the
mines. Women now occupy leading positions in society, to
mention a few: Prof. M. Ramphele, Vice-Chancellor of the
University of Cape Town, Dr. Frene Ginwala, speaker of
parliament, Dr. Ivy Matsepe Cassaburi, premier of the
Free State, ministers, judges, etc. Male chauvinism is
therefore gradually becoming something of the past.
Male chauvinism was typical of Biblical times. It was
and still is part of Western and African cultures. The
New Bill of Rights deals with a universal phenomenon when
it prohibits discrimination on the grounds of gender.
With the implementation of the Reconstruction and
Development Programme in South Africa, women can now be
appointed to fill key positions in the public sector.
ETHOS
On his earthly journey man has to take decisions and to
respond to God's law. His attitude towards others and
his outlook in life are displayed by the manner in which
he reacts. The term ethos is thus related to the inner
attitude, constant motivation and deeper foundations of
man's concrete acts (Smit, 1992:30).
-22-
Briefly stated, ethos is the temporal religious
expression of our concrete existence in response to God's
law. The Christian creational faith does not know any
reality other than the creational order supported by the
permanent creational will of God. This concept is
expressed in the mutually related distinction which
Dooyeweerd makes between the law-side and the subj ect-
side (Smit 1992:31).
On the law-side the ethos represents Christ's demand that
in all our interpersonal relationships we should adhere
to God's central commandment of love with all our heart.
On the subject-side the ethos represents the deepest and
widest tendency/motivation in man's actions and
behaviour. It is in this sphere that we make decisions
and shape our intentions (Strauss 1995: 51) stresses this
point:
It is at the level of the ethos that our heart-
commitment finds convincing expression in any
of a range of worldviews , life attitudes, or
mentalities, and it is at this level of being
human that we are gripped by a civilizational
foundational motive, and the Zeitgeist of a
particular cultural period.
-23-
The question of mortal body, immortal soul
According to the centuries old Christian view the soul is
the highest, most important and above all the immortal
part of man. But according to the Scripture, only God is
immortal. Christ mentions the resurrection and the
Judgment Day in his teachings. The resurrection which
Christ refers to is not only of the body but of the
entire man. According to Van der WaIt, man's immortality
is granted to him by God - and then also as complete man
(not only to the soul) on the day of resurrection (Van
der Walt, 1995:166).
In traditional Africa man was regarded as having two
entirely different parts: body and soul.
The body is seen as the visible side of man which in its
development goes through various stages ending up in
death.
The spirit which lives in the body could leave it
temporarily during dreams or permanently upon death.
This immortality of the spirit is not seen as eternal
immortality since, according to this view, immortality
depends on how long the dead will be remembered by the
living (Van der Walt, 1995:167).
The question of the resurrection and man's immortality
were unheard of in traditional Africa. There is life
after death according to traditional Africa, but this
life is a continuation of earthly existence.
The Sadducees made the same mistake during the time of
Christ thinking about heaven in terms of the earth and of
eternity in terms of time. According to Christ: people
do not marry in the next world, and heaven is not going
-24-
to be but a continuation or extension of this world (Matt
22:23-30).
2.2 Social philosophy
Various views have been put forward regarding the
structure of society. One of the major trends in
scientific sociology holds that society is composed of
various elements which, according to the propounders of
this view, fit together in different ways at different
times. Since these elements do not fit in one particular
manner we have different forms of societies as a result.
In such a process social structures are supposed to be
the outcome of historical factors or even chance.
Dooyeweerd did not find this argument convincing. He
conducted his own investigation of the structural
principles which have been established as normative
structural laws for human society. From his
investigation he was able to distinguish three types of
societal relationships.
Following Dooyeweerd to a certain extent and trying to
cope with translation problems in this regard, we could
speak of institutional, organizational and associational
communities. (I will attend to Dooyeweerd's view on
marriage and family more extensively later on.)
Institutional communities unite people in a more or less
permanent way, as members of the same social whole.
Examples of these are: the state, the church, and the
family. These should preferably be called institutional
communities, because they were instituted by God. They
have definite authority structures.
-25-
Secondly there are intercommunal and interpersonal social
relationships which are organized to serve a certain
purpose. (Kalsbeek, 1975:197). These could be called
organizational communities and include hospitals,
municipali ties, schools, academic institutions , etc.
They also have structures of authority like institutional
communities.
A non-institutional community is one which a man can join
or leave of his own free will. A person is free to join
a political party of his own choice and he is equally
free to leave it when he feels like it. A non-
institutional community is therefore a voluntary
organisation.
Thirdly Dooyeweerd distinguishes associational
communities where the people involved are on equal
footing like in friendship or in the case of a shopkeeper
and his clients or a doctor and his patient.
If these relationships are good, society will benefit
thereby, but if the relationships are not good, society
will reap bitter fruits, since in families for instance,
children could turn to the streets and become thugs and
hijackers, giving peace-loving people no rest at all.
Without good intercommunal and interpersonal
relationships there can be no communi ty and without the
community no intercommunal and interpersonal reactions
can take place. Without these three, human society is
therefore impossible.
It is necessary to follow Dooyeweerd in his distinction
between organised and natural communi ties. Such
organised communities as the church, the state and
businesses appear at a particular point in history as a
-26-
resul t of human cultural formation or organisation (cf
Kalsbeek, 1975:198). In contrast to these we have
natural communities such as marriage and the nuclear
family which are biotically founded. Unlike organised
communities mentioned above natural communities occur at
any period of history because they are not formed
according to the historico-cultural process.
For the proper running of natural and organised
communities authority and subordination are necessary.
Parents in a family have to exercise authority and
children have to obey. This authority has to be given in
love. Supervisors in any work situation have to give
orders and exercise authority and their subordinates in
turn, have to obey.
Human society as Kalsbeek (1975:199) maintains displays a
great variation in the mutual relationships. Because
each person is involved in several communities or social
structures, his status will be different in each. A
young parish priest shows great respect for his elders
and for all those who taught him during his school days.
In church however his elders and all his teachers show
great respect for him to the extent of addressing him as:
"Ntate Moruti" in Sesotho and "Bawo Mfundisi" in Xhosa.
Ntate and Bawo meaning "father". When the young parish
priest and one of his former teachers meet as friends to
discuss past incidents the authority structure is
entirely absent. In associational relationships
therefore the authority structure is not present. This
is not true of institutional and organizational social
structures.
The last social category is the distinction between
differentiated and undifferentiated societal
relationships. Family life in "primitive" culture and in
-27-
"modern" or "civilized" culture do differ. Authority of
husband over wife and children is far more pronounced in
the undifferentiated culture. In the undifferentiated
cuIture freedom to choose your own marriage partner is
seriously restricted. And in a broader context the clan
allows little individual initiative to its members - like
starting a shop for example.
2.2.1 Authority
I indicated in the previous paragraph that authority and
subordination are necessary for the proper running of
natural and organised communities.
In this paragraph I wish to point out the different forms
of authority found in various structures.
2.2.2 Marital authority
Authori ty is an important element in the structure of
marriage authority of the husband over his wife.
According to modern views the structure of authority is
derived from civil legal order. Dooyeweerd opposes this
view strongly. According to him whether the civil order
recognises this structure or not the authority
relationship is there and should not be eliminated. Its
existence is based on the cosmic law-order of creation.
According to this divine otder the husband is the head of
the wife. He has to lead his wife and not to dominate
her. (Dooyeweerd 1957:325 cited by Kalsbeek 1975:214).
The husband's marital authority has to function under the
guidance of marital love. Husbands should therefore
consul t their wives before making important decisions.
If husband and wife fail to reach an agreement on certain
-28-
issues the final authority rests upon the man as head of
the community.
In traditional African families and even in many modern
African families husbands, for example, turn to their
wives only when they have already made deals which they
are now unable to pay!
This is the type of marital authority which is found in
various African states since paternalism rules supreme.
The authority of the father figure may not be doubted or
questioned, as he is the authority in practically every
field.
Kalsbeek (1975:215) warns rightly that:
This marital harmony is disturbed where the
husband behaves like a despot or is henpecked.
Similarly we could hardly call a marriage
harmonious when a strong-willed wife takes over
the leadership which the husband is unable to
give.
It is regrettable that men should conduct business
transactions without consulting their wives. In my
opinion women have the same ability as men to carry out
the affairs of the family.
On the issue of the equality of sexes Plato, qtiite
rightly, states that men and women have the same natural
capacity for guardianship. As far as women's capacity to
hold administrative posts is concerned, I share Plato's
view that:
There is therefore no administrative occupation
which is particular to woman as woman or man as
-29-
man; natural capacities are similarly
distributed in each sex, and it is natural for
women to take part in all occupations as well
as men (Plato:234).
But I do not share his opinion that in all occupations
women will be the weaker partners.
Since, as indicated above, men and women have the same
natural capacity for 'guardianship' I do not think it is
fair to give the leadership role to men. In my view it
would be to the advantage of families if this role could
be shared by husband and wife with the husband retaining
his position as head of the family.
2.2.3 Parental (family) authority
In a family the relationship of authority and
subordination is also essential. Parents do not have to
relinquish their parental authority over their children
as this could affect the structure of the family
seriously. The exercise of authority varies with age.
As children approach adulthood parents should increase
the responsibilities of their children as much as
possible. According to African custom as we will see in
the next chapters, married young men remain under the
control of their fathers as long as they are part of the
extended family. They will only be free to run their own
affairs when they move into their own huts - the custom
that is known in Sesotho and Setswana as "ho tswa motse"
- (moving out of the extended family).
The authority exercised by parents has a legal dimension.
An example of this is the legal right to discipline and
punish children.
-30-
Punishment in the family has to take place under the
guidance of moral parental love and trust.
2.2.4 state authority
Paul in his letter to the Romans (13:4) has a good
description of the relation of the authorities to their
subjects. He mentions the use of the sword which the
authorities carry:
But if you do wrong, be afraid for he does not
bear the sword in vain.
The sword symbolises the power of the police and defence
force which will stem any form of resistance by the
citizens against officials in the exercise of their
duties. There are laws and ordinances which the citizens
have to obey. Transgressors are, as in the days of Paul,
punished by the state.
2.2.5 The authority of the church
The church council admonishes members of its congregation
and shows them by example how they ought to live here on
earth with God and with their fellow man. The authority
structure of the church is therefore qualified by the
faith of the community of believers (Kalsbeek, 1975:226).
Church discipline should serve· t o enhance the faith of
its members.
2.3.1 Sovereignty and universality in the own sphere
Human society may appear to be completely disorganized
when one looks at it. On a visit to a large city such as
Johannesburg, a man who has never been to a big city
before may easily conclude that there can be no order in
-31-
such a city, not when thousands of people can be seen
coming back from the city and almost a million can be
seen roaming the streets of Soweto. To him this coming
and going can only spell chaos.
Society is however, as Kalsbeek (1975:176) rightly puts
it, highly structured. Some institutions did not just
happen. There are laws of creation which, according to
Dooyeweerd, govern their formation and functions. Each
institution has a measure of sovereignty or independence
in relation to all others. By sovereignty in the own
sphere Dooyeweerd understands the unique, irreducible,
creational character of an institution given by God.
In my opinion if God's creational order is obeyed these
institutions will exist in perfect harmony since the
sovereignty of any social sphere is, as Dooyeweerd
rightly maintains, limited by the sovereignty of other
spheres. No sphere can therefore encroach upon the
sovereignty of the other spheres. In addition Dooyeweerd
mentions that the sovereignty of other spheres is limited
to the task or function to which it is called to perform.
What is more important, the sovereignty each social
sphere has is subservient to the sovereignty of God.
The other principle that Dooyeweerd emphasises is that of
universality in the own sphere. By this phrase he refers
to t.he fact that social structures are interrelated so
that any of these will be reflected in the others.
Family life and state life cannot be separated. The one
can support or subvert the other.
2.3.2 Radical types
Dooyeweerd then refers to marriage and family life as
"natural communi ties" . This must be read in the context
-32-
of his radical type analysis of social structures where
he distinguishes between the qualifying or leading
modality and the foundationalone. According to him
natural institutions are founded in the biotic modality
of life and are qualified by the modality of love.
Love acts as the family's constant guiding structural
function determining its destination. Regrettably, a
maj ori ty of African men are bound by their traditions,
denying themselves thereby the companionship of their
wives and children. In an example used by Kimathi
(1994:42) a young man learns from his father that an
African man must behave as unapproachable as his lordship
the chief. If he intends commanding authority over his
wife and children he has to stand aloof. This is indeed
the case in most African families. To openly display
love for his wife and children is therefore not possible
in traditional culture.
Organi zed institutions on the other hand, according to
Dooyeweerd, are founded on the historical modality, they
are the product of human cultural formation. Unlike
natural institutions, organized institutions did not come
about by the divine order of creation.
In addition to the above distinctions Dooyeweerd further
points out the following:
D Natural communities display a wide variety of forms -
such as Christian marriages, patrilineal and
matrilineal families, nuclear and extended families, to
mention a few examples.
Historically founded communities by contrast depend
upon and are bound to certain historical conditions.
-33-
• Historically founded communities do not cease to exist
when a member dies. These organized communities are
called 'organizations'. When a husband dies the
marriage ceases to exist. Similarly when two parents
die a family ceases to exist. Therefore a marriage
community (which is a natural community) depends on the
life span of husband or wife .
• Institutional communities by virtue of their normative
structural principle are meant to embrace their members
for their entire lives independent of their will. This
is characteristic of natural communities, state and
church institutions . Non-institutional organizations,
by contrast, have arisen from free differentiated
social relationships. They are based on the principle
that their members can freely enter and depart. Members
of a particular party are free to cross the floor and
join another party whenever they feel like it.
All of these distinctions are relevant shen we analyse
the structure of marriage and family.
2.4 The structure of marriage
Marriage is defined in various ways. The dictionary
defini tions are in my opinion not satisfactory at all.
In these definitions no mention of God is made. Random
House Dictionary of the English Language defines marriage
as follows:
The social institution under which a man and woman
establish their decision to live as husband and
wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies,
etc.
-34-
According to Maswanganyi (NO:3) marriage was instituted
by God who even officiated in the marriage of our first
parents Adam and Eve. The Catechism of the Catholic
Church (1994:394) makes the following contribution:
The intimate community of life and love which
constitutes the married state has been established
by the Creator and endowed by him with its own
proper laws God himself is the author of
marriage.
Despite the many variations it may have undergone in
different cultures and social structures, marriage is all
but a purely human institution.
Modern sociologists such as Lionel Tiger and Robin Fox do
not share the view that marriage is of the Lord for men
and women. They regard marriage as a human invention to
be eliminated when we please (Olthuis 1975:22).
Inevitably sociological analysis of marriage are
reductionistic. In the name of science any religious
reference is excluded by definition.
As a divine institution called into existence by God in
the beginning, human marriages therefore exist as an
unfolding of God's word for marriage. In this vein
Tenney (1963:511) defines marriage as follows:
Marriage is an intimate personal union to which a
man or woman consents; consummated and
con,tinuously nourished by sexual intercourse and
perfected in a life-long partnership of mutual
love and commitment. It is also a social
insti tution regulated by the word of God and by
-35-
the laws and customs which a society develops to
safeguard its own continuity and welfare.
The mutual love and commitment makes it possible for
husband and wife to become one flesh. Maswanganyi (NO:3)
shares the same view. God designed marriage to be a
life-long commitment between two members of the opposite
sex with death as the only exit. Unlike Randolph House's
definition, Tenney's definition gives us a complete
picture of marriage, with God as regulator of our
marriages.
There are two types of marriages in Africa: Christian
marriages and customary marriages.
Christian marriage is defined in The Report of All-
African Seminar on Christian Home and Family (1963,
February 17) as follows:
Christian marriage is a union in which the "twain
become one fleshu one living being, one entity, a
new organism. It is a community of persons which
is life-long in duration and fidelity: they are
together "for better, for worseu.
Tenney (1963:511) adds the following explanation:
Christian marriage is one in which husband and
wife covenant together with God and publicly
witness their commitment not only to each other
but together to Him to the end that they .shall in
uni ty fulfil His purposes throughout life (1 Cor.
7:39; cf 11 Cor. 6:14).
In sharp contrast to the above in African or customary
marriage a bond is established between a man and a woman
-36-
and also between the families to which they belong. In
other words customary marriage is a covenant between two
extended families; between two communi ties (Report of
the All-African Seminar, 1963, February 17).
Customary marriage is preceded by payment of a bride
price/lobola which is paid over by the family of the man
to the family of the woman. In spite of this commercial
aspect of the marriage contract, there is evidence that
the love of the young people for each other often has an
important part in the preliminaries of marriage.
Many young African couples who have been joined in
marriage in the customary way have often approached their
priests to have their marriages blessed even though,
according to African custom and even by law, they are
regarded as husbands and wives. Couples who are truly in
love are not afraid to appear together in public. This
step serves, in my opinion, as a good example of the love
which the couples have for one another.
Unlike the family community which allows for certain
changes in membership, the marriage community does not.
When a widow or widower remarries, Dooyeweerd (cited by
Kalsbeek 1975:211) rightly argues, he does not continue
the first marriage but forms a new one.
According to African tradition a younger brother can
marry his deceased· brother's wife. This practice is
known as Levirate marriage (or as the BaSotho have it "Ho
Kenela") which served in many parts to beget children
when the husband dies without offspring. Children born
of this marriage are regarded as children of the first
marriage. Moral love which Dooyeweerd mentions, is
clearly not a prerequisite in the marriage of the younger
-37-
brother and his sister-in-law. The man in this case is
used as a 'tool' to bear children.
Love and fidelity in marriage
Love gives meaning and inward validi ty to marriage and
guarantees its integrity. The type of love which Christ
expects husband and wife to have for each other is other-
person centred, giving and self-renouncing for the sake
of one's beloved. This type of love is expressed through
service, not exploitation. Such love dissolves
differences and barriers, barriers created by one's self-
centredness.
God created man out of love. He, in turn, calls man to
love. As indicated before, man is created in the image
of God who is Himself love, therefore this call by God is
the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being
(Catholic Cathecism, 1994:394).
Marriage gains spiritual significance when each partner
is enabled to transcend his own self-centredness and
identify himself with the well-being and concerns of the
other (Tenney, 1963:512). By staying aloof and by
behaving like chiefs in their families, men allow these
barriers to divide them from their life-partners and the
attitude of "thine and mine" to develop. When this
happens, it becomes increasingly difficult for both
husband and wife to share each other's sorrows.
Sexual fulfilment
Sex is a creation and gift of God and therefore it is
holy. The same cannot be said of pre-marital sex and sex
in trial marriages. Man and woman were created to
-38-
complement each other physically and to share in God's
creative process.
Sexual intimacy affords husband and wife a medium for
mutual disclosures, the senses becoming, as Tenney
(1963:512) aptly puts it:
A channel of communication for all that lies too
deep for utterance and yet must somehow be told in
order to fulfil the total mutuality of marriage.
One cannot relate or communicate in this way with more
than one person. This exclusive sexual relation between
husband and wife points to the exclusive commitment of
total responsibility for each other (Tenney, 1963:512).
According to Olthuis (1975:71-72), the marriage bond of
troth has the unique character of being so intense that
only two people can share in it to the full. This rules
out polygamous bonds. Again the fact that face-to-face
intimacy in physical intercourse is only possible between
two people at the same time rules out polygamy also.
In many African countries marriage is a social
arrangement to regulate' physical intercourse. This is
not so. Marriage is at heart an ethical relationship of
troth, affecting the humanity of man at one of its
deepest levels. Man chooses his life partner. This
partner is his full partner in troth not simply his bed
partner.
The relation between husband and wife
The relation between husband and wife is affected to a
large extent by the manner in which they choose to run
their affairs. Placing the husband in sole charge can
-39-
jeopardize the entire relationship by establishing a
male-dominated marriage.
As I have already indicated women are regarded
traditionally as less significant than men. Consequently
they have less to contribute to the relationship. The
situation becomes worse when the husband continues to
grow through outside contacts while the wife languishes
at home. After years of living separate lives, he may
begin to see her as an embarrassment. Both, not only the
husbandt. need outside contact with friends and
colleagues. According to African tradition the duty of
the wife is to prepare food and to look after her in-
laws. She is not supposed to go out to meet friends.
But the couple can seek and receive various kinds of
satisfaction from other relationships without endangering
their marriage. Even if she has to be on duty for 24
hours a day, the wife needs to meet other women.
Marriage without Christ
Two questions have always been in man's mind throughout
the ages:
(a) Can we really say that a man outside of Christ loves
his wife?
(b) Is his love simply fake? A mere pretence?
In a bid to answer these questions, two traditions
developed within the Christian church. More conservative
Christians claimed that outside Christ we cannot really
love each other, that love in non-Christian marriages is
superficial and worse, mere pretence. The more liberal
Christians having seen firm non-Christian marriages and
Christian marriages, came to the conclusion that a
-40-
unique love of God had nothing to do with marriage, if it
had any importance at all.
The correct view is that any couple that marries obeys
the call to troth to some degree. Just as their
Christian counterparts, non-Christians also live under
God's structuring word for marriage. They can also
pledge troth and honestly love each other. In this
sense, they too give honour to Christ and bow before His
Word in spite of themselves. Good marriages are found
among Muslims, Hindus and Jews. The two views mentioned
above must therefore be rejected.
The breakup of marriage
Marriages are broken in as many ways as they can be
built. Every couple can find countless ways to break
their marriage. This can be done by having affairs,
squandering money, establishing separate lives, cutting
each other off and beginning to keep secrets. If the
couple do not grow together in troth their relationship
will not grow but will stagnate and become a boring
affair.
The real cause of the problems which couples experience
in their marriages is failure by both husband and wife to
share their difficulties. Priests, ministers and
marriage counsellors often have to listen to such
complaints as: "My husband just will not talk to me. I
am lonely and frustrated and I do not really know the man
I married."
Sadly, this situation is typical of millions of marriages
in Africa. One couple may think that there is still a
two-way communication going on between them in their
-41-
marriage while the other feels frustrated and alone.
Meredith (1997:23) sums up the situation as follows:
In reality the two spouses are merely co-
existing under the same roof. They may not
harm one another physically or verbally but the
openness, warmth and total sharing of two lives
that should be there, simply isn't.
When a marital relationship is reduced to two people
merely co-existing in the same house then that marriage
is missing the mark, failing to achieve its awesome
potential (Meredith 1997:23).
In South Africa, when the higher liquor restrictions were
relaxed, things began to take a different turn for
Africans. Townships are now dotted with shebeens. Men
and women frequent these shebeens to have a tot or two.
As a result morals are lowered and the relations between
husbands and wives who freq~ent these places, are
strained leading ultimately to divorce. It is such
considerations, I think, which led Olthuis (1986:x) to
warn all those who are on the voyage of marriage, that:
today the shores are strewn with marital wreckage,
and prognostications give each marriage about a
fifty percent chance of survival. Today, more
than ever, we need a map ... a description of the
trouble spots and an itinerary of the stops along
the way.
Something has to be done to encourage communication in
marriages so as to curb the percentage of divorces which
is continuing to rise.
-42-
2.5 Structure of the family according to Dooyeweerd
Various people have different views on what a family is
or ought to be. In cultures which stress the nuclear
family (husband, wife and children) marriage is the
beginning of a family. As I have said Dooyeweerd holds
that: No family can exist without marriage but marriage
can exist without a family.
In its view of the family the Holy Scripture does not
give us a theoretical analysis of its structure.
According to Dooyeweerd (1957:269) the Holy Scripture:
presents the family as a typical normative bond
of love, based upon the natural ties of blood
between parents and their immediate offspring.
This is a reflection of the bond of love
between the Heavenly Father and His human
children unbreakably bound : to the tie between
Christ and his church.
In his definition Dooyeweerd (1957: 269) also brings out
the ties of love and blood relationship between parents
and children. He states that:
According to its inner structure of
individuality, the natural immediate family is
thus an institutional moral community of love
between parents and their children under age,
structurally based upon biotic ties of
relationship.
Olthuis (1975:79) shares this view of the family:
The family ought to be a community of troth
between parents and children based on the
-43-
biotic drive for motherhood and fatherhood and
on the subsequent blood ties.
On the structure of the family Schrotenboer (1995:15)
states that:
The two basic components of the family are the husband-
wife bond (a bi-unity of love and fidelity) and the
parent-children bond.
Kayongo Male Diane defines the nuclear family as follows:
A family at its simplest level included a husband
and a wife and their offspring.
Gideon Strauss (1995:176) has this to say about the
family:
The family is the intimate and secure context
within which children find their own identity,
covenantly inherit their ultimate cornrntiment and
convictions and begin to respond to the rich
diversity of possibilities in creation. Childhood
is an ultimate education marked in all its
experiences by familial troth The reliable
interdependence experienced as a child in the
family, shapes our capacity for intimacy, and much
of our broader capacity for interpersonal
relationships.
In his description of a natural family Dooyeweerd
mentions several issues pertaining to it which I intend
dealing with in the next paragraphs. He also stresses
quite rightly that we can only gain a better
understanding of the inner nature of a natural family
when we are guided by practical experience and a sound
-44-
knowledge of the biotic function since, as we are aware,
the typical communal tie between parents and children is
genetic, it is grounded in a blood relation of the most
immediate character (Dooyeweerd 1957:266).
In their attempt to address the question of relationship
between parents and children both Aristotle and Thomas
explained it in functional terms as a part of the
domestic communi ty. This communi ty was viewed by
Aristotle as an economic unity which includes the
relation between the husband, wife and slave (s) and by
Thomas as the relationship between husband and wife while
the relationship between parents and children was
regarded as having been specifically planned to bring
about the rational and moral perfection of the
undeveloped human nature of the children resulting in
their education to good citizens. According to Thomas,
this natural education requires its supra natural
completion by turning the children into good sons and
daughters of the church as the institution of grace
(Dooyeweerd 1957:267).
Clearly, the family and the relationship between parents
and children cannot be described in such terms. The
views expressed here are not concerned with the inner
nature of the family bonds. They are rather directed at
the purposes which this relationship can serve.
As indicated in 2.3 Dooyeweerd (1957:269) points out that
though the family functions in all aspects it is
qualified by the moral aspect. He sees the natural
immediate family as a moral community of love between
parents and their minor children. According to
Dooyeweerd this type of family is based upon biotic ties
of blood relationship.
-45-
An explanation of the word love will be given eventually.
In this context I only wish to clarify that which I
consider essential. The qualification of love as moral
love is intended to put an end to any doubt .which may
arise since the word love is commonly used with reference
to fleeting sensual affection between two persons of the
opposite sex (Kalsbeek 1975:206).
According to the abstract idealistic view of morali ty,
love between parents and children is not pure because it
is founded on natural blood ties. In my opinion the
propounders of this view make the same mistake that was
made by Aristotle and Thomas of describing love in
functional terms (procreation). Where real love between
husband and wife and between parents and children exists
qualities like involvement, taking care of, dealing with
respect for another person, are noticeable.. It also
seems valid to say that it involves an attitude an
att~tude of permanent and loyal affection. There is
indeed no term that encapsulates an adequate definition
of love (Smit 1985:4-8) but words like compassion, care,
commitment, service and self-sacrifice do testify to its
true character.
In sharp contrast to the view held by the propounders of
the abstract idealistic view of morality Dooyeweerd
(1957:270) argues quite rightly that:
the inner moral character of the bond of love
between parents and their children is not
affected by its typical foundation in the bonds
of blood.
The typical biotic foundation however gives an intensity
to the moral bond of love unmatched in any other moral
relationship except in the one between husband and wife
-46-
in marriage. For example the bond of love between
parents and children is much more intense than the bond
of love between the parents and their friends. Unlike
Aristotle and Thomas who explained the relationship
between parents and children in functional terms,
Dooyeweerd held that there is a close relationship
between parents and children which is made possible by
the moral bond of love. Such things as mutual duties and
moral responsibility will flow from this.
He argues that:
If, according to its structural principle, the
bond of love between parents and children in
the family is of a typical moral character it
cannot be reduced to an instinctive feeling of
sympathy. Much rather it is a communal
relation implying mutual duties and moral
responsibility of a specific character.
Love does not emanate from duty and responsibility but
vice versa. In any family for instance, parents have to
provide shelter for their children. This is their duty
and responsibility, something which they have to do to
avoid blame. A father who has true love for his family
will, besides obtaining shelter for the family, make sure
that the house he has bought is suitable for the size of
his family and that it is within walking distance from
the bus stop or taxi rank and a number of other
advantages.
The origin and nature of a family
According to Dooyeweerd the nuclear family is part of the
process of social differentiation. By mutual
-47-
interlacement communities exist together (Kalsbeek,
1975:205) .
As Dooyeweerd rightly points out, the process of
differentiation and integration went hand in hand. Thus
we see the family as closely associated with the church
to which it belongs , with the school which the children
attend and with the state of which the family members are
citizens.
In spite of these connections, however, the family
retains its unique identity. This notion is contained in
the following statement by Kalsbeek (1975:206):
But we are all aware that identity of the family
as a natural community does not depend on these
connections, no matter how intimate they are.
One could argue that individualism and communalism have
no place in Dooyeweerd's philosophy. He supports neither
of the two. From his argument we note that the family
cannot be isolated because it is intimately connected
with other communities, thus individual members of a
family cannot grow and develop in isolation because they
are part of the other institutions . But, even if they
are associated with other institutions and people, each
retains his identity, which simply means that their
exist~nce is not determined by the society in which they
find themselves.
The unique feature of the family, according to
Dooyeweerd, is that even though it functions in all
aspects, it is qualified by the moral aspect. By this he
means that moral love between parents and children ought
to dominate the whole of family life. This love should
-48-
act as constant guiding structural function, determining
the destination of each individual family.
The family, parents and children, has to be united by
troth, a central norm or standard which has to be worked
out in the family. As troth develops a family prospers,
therefore each family must try in every possible way to
develop, strengthen and conserve the bond of troth
between its members. When this is achieved and
maintained, only then can we speak of a real family. In
a real family father, mother and child are devoted to one
another and they help each other. In short, they pledge
their love to one another.
As indicated in 1.1.3, despite the intimate bond of moral
love, parents should not relinquish their moral authority
and as with the other modali ties, fairness and equity
must colour the relations between parents and children
(Kalsbeek, 1975:207~8).
Changes take place in the nuclear family. When both
parents die, the family loses its identity. Blood ties
remain intact between the children but according to
Dooyeweerd, the family ceases to exist. Dooyeweerd holds
that:
Even when these children live together, the family
community .is broken, also when all the. children
have grown up the family community ceases to exist
whether or not the children have left the parental
home.
This is a debatable point and I will return to it later
on.
-49-
The internal unity of a family as a normative unity
According to Dooyeweerd (1957:271) the guiding function
of a family structure is normative. God's law as
manifested in the structural principle of social
relationships is holy and good, untainted by evil:
So then, the law itself is holy, and the
commandment is holy, right and good.
Romans 7, v.12
By this Dooyeweerd means that the internal unity of a
family is to a large extent defectively realised because
of sin. That this is so can be seen from a close
examination of families in contemporary society. In some
of these we find cases of child-abuse and the abuse of
women - two cases which strongly support the view that
sin distorts family life into a caricature of what it was
meant to be. Olthuis (1975:9) also takes up the point.
According to him:
The break with God brought an immediate break
in man's relation with himself, fellowmen and
the rest of creation. When man's heartfelt
communion with God and his neighbor broke, he
set himself over against woman, woman reacted
against man.
Olthuis (1975:9) sums up his argument in very strong
terms:
With the Fall, intimacy became a curse instead
of a blessing, openness meant vulnerability,
dependence felt like defenselessness, and
mutuality turned into hostility.
-50-
We can therefore justifiably conclude that families
suffer when the guiding function of moral love is not
positivised.
Authority and subordination in the family community
Dooyeweerd holds that authority and subordination are
indispensable in the structure of natural communi ties.
However intimate the bond of moral love in the family may
be the relationship of authority and subordination
remains essential. This prompted him to issue the
following warning:
Notwithstanding their intimacy the ties of love
between parents and children do not lack the
distinction between the authoritative position
of the former and the subordinate position of
the latter. On the contrary, if parents
abandon their moral authority and factually
behave as the older comrades of their children,
the typical bond of love which qualifies the
family relationship is violated (Dooyeweerd
1957:274) .
It would indeed be detrimental to the family's future
well-being if the parents would relinquish their
authority over their children or even act as though they
were their older friends. Since the family is a pillar
of society, should it fall apart as a result of lack of
proper control, society itself would suffer.
Gangsterism, car-hij ackings, armed robberies and wanton
killing of farmers would rise unabated. All these are
but few examples of what we in South Africa have to put
up with as a result of lack of discipline and failure on
the part of parents to exercise their authority well.
-51-
In sharp contrast to Dooyeweerd's view Kant held that
true morality is incompatible with any relation of
authori ty and subordination. In rejecting Kant's view
Dooyeweerd (1957:273) concludes that:
If this were true, the immediate family
relationship would in principle lack any moral
character. For according to its inner
structure, it does imply that very heteronomy
which Kant considers to be opposed to real
morality.
Considering that almost all types of communities imply a
typical structure of authority, I share Dooyeweerd's
opinion that Kantian ethics has no room for a moral
community.
Having dealt with the question of authority and
subordination, Dooyeweerd goes on to discuss the internal
structural principle of the family which expresses itself
in the aspects of social intercourse and language. The
question of authority crops up here also. Instead of
subordination on the part of the children we have here
respect. Dooyeweerd (1957:285) expresses this
relationship as follows:
The prevailing tone of the family intercourse
should be consonant with the typical communal
love between parents and children and brothers
and sisters. And notwithstanding the close
interweaving of the members of the family in
their intercourse with each other, the
authoritative structure of this relationship
should find expression in the social respect
shown by children for their parents.
. I 14'6 137 4-10
-52-
Family conversations and discussions should, according to
Dooyeweerd, always be conducted respectfully and
lovingly. Children lose respect for their parents if
they are treated by them as though they are their
comrades or if the parents abandon their authority over
them. In my opinion parents who spent most of their time
visiting friends and only go back home to sleep are also
in a way abandoning their authority and will in turn
receive no respect from their children. Once the
children are allowed to address their parents
disrespectfully they will address everyone they come
across in the same manner. All these associations are
contained in the following paragraph:
Children should not speak to their parents in a
respectless familiar way, but when the language
used in a family has the exterior formality of
the ordinary social intercourse' with strangers,
the family tone is somehow wrong (Dooyeweerd
1957: 285) .
The expression of the structural principle in the
cultural aspect of the family
According to Dooyeweerd (1957:286) the family cannot be
replaced by any other community in its function of
moulding and educating children from infancy. Parents
are the first people who are closest to the growing
child.
The intimate family sphere is the only natural
community able to give the first and
foundational cultural moulding to the
disposi tion and character of the infant. Both
its biotical foundation and its typical moral
qualification as a bond of love between parents
-53-
and children provide the formative power of
parental education with a particular intimate
character not found in any other communal
sphere.
Olthuis (1975:80) also regards the intimate atmosphere of
the family as the most suitable fot the education of the
growing child:
In the intimacy of the family, parents must
lead, educate, steer, guide and nurture their
children so that they come to see the norms
that hold for life and so that they will be
able to bear the responsibility of living
according to the norms.
Being closest to their children at all times from their
early years until they reach the stage of maturity,
parents come to know exactly their children's habits.
The knowledge enables them to find suitable ways in which
they can prepare their children for future roles in life.
Modern psychology and pedagogy may be of assistance to
the family but should not replace it.
Parents remain the best teachers of their children. Any
attempt to pass over this responsibility to institutions
of learning would be the families' undoing. Mbiti
(1969:225) sums up this point aptly as fbllows:
The education of children is increasingly being
passed on from parents and the community to
teachers and schools where it becomes more of
book learning as an end in itself than an
education which prepares the young for mature
life and future careers.
-54-
Dooyeweerd (1957:287) rightly warns:
But it would be a dangerous overestimation of
science if it should be supposed that the
formative educational task of the parents had
better be taken over by a skilled psychologist
or pedagogue. The integral character of
education in the family sphere is irreplaceable
and in many respects decisive for the whole
further life of the children. The children
belong to their parents in a personal sense as
long as they have not reached the stage of
maturity necessary for them to be considered as
responsible persons in human society.
The end of the continuous identity of the family
Dooyeweerd (1957: 344) maintains that the parents remain
advisers of adult children who have left their parental
home for good. But over these children the authority of
their parental office comes to an end, just as their
children's duty to obey after they have reached the state
of maturity. According to black culture parents do not
lose authority. They have it for life. Parents are for
instance
called whenever there are disputes. Whatever they lay
down in the end is final and has to be accepted by the
young couples.
In my opinion parents should remain advisers of all adult
children not only of those who have left the parental
home for good. Adult children should be encouraged to
settle their own disputes. For those who are married I
strongly recommend that they be advised to find solutions
to their problems through sharing, that is by discussions
-56-
CHAPTER 3: FAMILY LIFE
In this chapter I want to discuss family forms in Africa
and the role of the family in society.
3.1 Social meaning of the family
3.1.1 Plato's confusion
- that our men and women guardians should be
forbidden by law to live together in separate
households, and all the women should be common
to all men; similarly, children should be held
in common, and no parent should know its child,
or child its parent (Plato 1963:237,457d).
In the Republic Plato makes propositions which are
contrary to God's plan for marriage and family. For
these institutions which were created by God Himself, he
substitutes a system of eugenic breeding analogous to
that used in breeding domestic animals. One big mistake
which Plato makes is that of thinking that the state has
a say in matters relating to the procreation of children.
As it will become clearer later in this thesis, couples
alone have a God-given responsibility of maintaining the
human family on the earth. God gives the couples freedom
by His command "increase and multiply" (Kimathi 1994:44).
According to Plato (1963:236,457), for the purpose of
satisfying the sex instinct and of bringing about a good
breed of citizens, the rulers will run mating festivals
at which they will select mating partners. Without
marriage, to my mind, there would be free mating which
would reduce human beings created in the image of God to
-57-
a beastly level, therefore what Plato holds as good in
his opinion, would be unacceptable in the eyes of God and
also unacceptable to Christian communities all over the
world.
Mating feasts which Plato recommends cannot replace
marriage without which the basic social unit that is so
essential in a stable society is not possible.
Cl
According to Plato's plan, state nurseries will be
responsible for the upbringing and education of the
children. These nurseries may be of help but they cannot
replace the family as society's primary institution for
raising children and for passing on and developing the
values of society. Kimathi (1994:44) has this to say
about parents as educators in the family:
The Christian couple creates a unit in which
children are trained in worship, in work
habi ts, in respect for man and reverence for
God. The married partners give their offspring
a model on which to build their life styles.
Solutions to problems of 'free love' morality which Plato
proposes in Nomoi (841C) are in direct contradiction to
the propositions he makes in the Republic. In the
Republic citizens have to be rid of the distracting
loyalties, affections ~nd interests of the family system
which according to Plato, prevent them from serving the
community. In the Republic 'community' is more important
than the 'individual' . In the Nomoi as indicated, Plato
proposes the following as solutions to the problem of
'free love': fear of God, nurturing self-respect, and a
passion for spiritual rather than physical beauty. 'Free
love' has to be discouraged while in the Republic it is
-58-
encouraged. The individual is more important than the
community in Nomoi.
3.1.2 Recapitulation of Dooyeweerd's structural
analysis of the family
Dooyeweerd (1957:91) analyses social structures in terms
of their qualifying and foundational aspects. He terms
this type of analysis a radical typical analysis. By
radical he understands the root of the structure. He
also emphasizes the correlation between the two. In
terms of the family he chooses for the ethical modality
and the biotic modality.
(a) Qualifying aspect
This aspect refers to the ethical attitude towards life
which has to do with love. The word 'love' has lost both
its meaning and its expressive force through
overexposure. The bond of love between family members
which Dooyeweerd describes, is based upon the natural
ties of blood. This bond of love, according to
Dooyeweerd, is founded in the biotic modality. As it
will become clear from the descriptions in the next
paragraphs, love cannot be restricted to intimate
relationships and it has little to do with sentimental
feelings of involvement. It is constant in nature.
Love is regarded by many as synonymous with emotion.
There is a clear distinction between the two. Emotions
are fickle while, as we have seen, love is enduring.
Love should in fact· be referred to as an attitude - an
ideal attitude of respect for people's lives, their
personhood, the social structures within which they live
their lives and the God who ordains the norms for
individual and social behaviour (Smit 1985:109).
-59-
(b) The foundational aspect
This aspect refers to the biotic structural aspect of the
family. Dooyeweerd regards marriage and family as
naturally founded societal forms. According to him both
marriage and family are qualified by the ethical modality
and founded on the biotic modality (Dooyeweerd 1957: 91,
178ff) . I share Smit's view that marriage is founded on
the modality of psychic sensitivity. What happens
concretely is that two people from the opposite sex are
drawn to each other. Rather than to refer to the biotic
difference between a male and female body, the psychic
attraction between the sexes is the crucial issue. To
take it even further we must emphasise that the whole
personality is male or female therefore attraction is not
merely biotic (Smit 1985:109-114).
3.1.3 Family forms in Africa
The family has a long history dating from pre-historic
times. In its long history it took different forms, some
of which are slowly dying out as a result of the
influence of Christianity in different countries at
different times.
The following forms are found in various countries:
Nuclear families
Extended families
Single parent families
Gay families
The nuclear family is the basic unit of every known
family organization. It consists of a married couple and
their immature offspring. This family form was not
-60-
common in South Africa and the rest of the African
continent. The most common family form was the extended
family.
Extended family
This topic will be dealt with extensively in Chapter 4.
Extended families are still found in various parts of the
world. This kind of family consists of the married
couple and their children. It might include
grandparents, brothers and sisters, perhaps an uncle and
aunt. All these people, some related by blood and some
by marriage, lived and worked together.
In the cities members of a kinship network continue to
live together either as an extended family in a common
household or, according to Unterhalter (1987:), in what
may be called a quasi-extended family. Members of this
type of family cannot share the common household because
of living space. The kinship group continues as a major
unit of association despite this limitation. Even if
there are no relatives staying with the nuclear family,
the wider kinship group continues to influence family
life. Ceremonies connected with marriages and deaths are
supervised by uncles who are often invited to settle the
questions relating to 'amasiko' (customs).
According to African tradition ancestors are senior
members of extended families and, as such, offer guidance
and protection. When discipline disintegrates, or when
moral norms are disregarded the living invariably turn to
their ancestors for help. This point will be treated
fully in chapter 7.
-61-
Among the Africans in the South-Eastern regions of Africa
the domestic unit was traditionally the patriarchal
extended family rather than the nuclear family while the
very act of conversion led to a degree of withdrawal from
extended families to which the converts belonged.
In agrarian societies the common form was the patriarchal
family unit which was initially self-sufficient. It
produced and consumed goods, carried out political and
educational duties and it provided the much-needed
protection. In these family units young people stayed
with their parents until after marriage and left only
after the birth of their first children. This is still
the practice among black families in South Africa, both
in the urban and the rural areas.
The matriarchal form is not popular in South Africa.
This unit was popular in the North but is gradually dying
out. In this case a man decides to leave the family in
which he grew up to live with his wife in her parents'
household.
Gay families
A gay family is composed of two people of the same sex
who literally live together as husband and wife. This
type of association is not relevant for African life. It
is a Western phenomenon. This form of association has
not yet been legalized in South Africa.
3.1. 4 Educational task of the family/nurturing
To a certain extent this topic was already touched on in
chapter 2.
-62-
The child comes into the world within a family, a
community that is founded on loving trust. It is in this
community that the basic attitude to life is determined.
In a family a child learns to express his feelings and if
he experiences intimacy in the family he learns to do
what is expected of him and to accept responsibility for
his deeds.
There is no community that can take over the
basic educational task of the family viz. an
education in fidelity in intimate circle
One who does not experience mutually and
interdependence within the family, will have
difficulty in mastering the art of responsible
intimate relationships (Uys and Smit 1987:32).
Blankenhorn (1990(a) :33) sees the family as an
institution which renders valuable service in society:
The family is society's primary institution for
raising children, caring for the elderly, and
passing on and developing the values of
society. It is usually the source of both our
greatest loves and our greatest sorrows. It is
the main mediating institution between the
individual and the state the basic social
uni t of our culture. For these reasons, most
of us see the family as our central and most
enduring commitment beyond the self.
Young boys learn from their fathers in the rural areas
how to milk and how to plough the fields and they take up
these duties when their fathers are away in the mines.
In the cities young men learn from their fathers how to
run business and how to drive while girls are taught by
their mothers how to sew, knit and cook.
-63-
The majority of men of all races have to be taught to be
fathers. It is an accepted fact that the supreme test of
any civilization is whether it can socialize men by
teaching them to be fathers, creating a culture in which
men acknowledge their paternity and willingly nurture
their offspring. One seldom comes across a mother who
neglects her duty of educating her children. When both
father and mother do not educate their children they will
turn to those who can. These are very often the Police.
There is hope for the family. The middle class Africans
are beginning to realize that their goal is to prepare
their children to live responsible and useful lives. As
a result many parents take their children to multiracial
schools where there are few or no stayaways as compared
to African schools where toyi-toyis and sit-ins are/were
the order of the day.
3.1.5 The meaning of the family home
According to Olthuis (1975:83), the family is a place of
rest. It is a place of troth, security and peace where a
child can come to himself and feel safe. Strauss
(1995:176) makes the following contribution:
Children are inhibited from experiencing an
appropriate sense of loving security when
parental discipline is either authoritarian or
permissive. Discipline which respects the
dignity of the child, and then expects and
nurtures a maturing towards responsibility, is
the foundation of a secure sense of identity
and adulthood. The authority of parents is
limited by familial love and the personal
digni ty of the child, and should be exercised
-64-
in such a way that the child continues to be
led out into the free exercise of promise and
possibility.
Children feel wanted, safe and secure when they are
accepted for what they are and when parents do not
attempt to change them from what they are. A child will
feel safe when he realizes that he is accepted even if he
does poorly at school ... even if he does not want to be
a farmer and his father has the best farm in the country
(Olthuis, 1975:83).
African parents are conservative. With them the moral
obligation to conform to traditions and conventions
overrides any desire for change or non-conformity. (( cf
Yusufu Turaki (1991:135) cited by Van der Walt (1995:9)).
They will not move an inch from the practices of their
forefathers. They bring up their children the way they
themsel ves were brought up. Some parents still choose
careers for their children - the practice they adopted
from their forefathers (a practice which often has
negative results). With the exception of the elite,
African parents punish their children if they perform
badly at school. In my opinion children will feel safe
if they know that their parents will love them even if
they do not meet their expectations but they will become
emotionally insecure when they are overwhelmed with the
obligation to fulfil their parents' wishes. Olthliis sums
this ~p beautifully:
Once the child begins the uncertain task of
trying to earn his parents' love, he loses the
freedom and trust he needs to learn to know
himself. He becomes anxious and uncertain of
his own worth (Olthuis, 1975:84).
-65-
According to African tradition the children's upbringing
is the responsibility of the mother, thus women are
always blamed when their children perform badly. But
who, in the family, is to blame when this happens? Is it
not the father for neglecting his duty as a parent?
3.1.6 Social meaning of the family
Migratory labour has had an enormous impact on family
life in Africa. It has deprived children of their
fathers and wives of their husbands in some cases over
extended periods of time while in others, for good.
Lately children are also being deprived of their mothers
who, more and more, leave their homes to seek employment
in towns or cities.
The fact that the survival of the family depends on its
members being separated from one another run counter to
both Western, Christian and traditional African values.
These migrant workers have no choice as there is no other
way open for them to earn a living.
The family is the communi ty in which from childhood one
can learn moral values and begin to honour God. Ideally,
the relationships within the family have to bring an
affinity of feelings, affections and interests arising
above all from the members' respect for one another. The
relationship between parents and children is summed up as
follows in the Catechism of the Catholic Church
(1994: 516) :
The family is a privileged community called to
achieve a sharing of thought and a common
deliberation by the spouses as well as their
eager co-operation as parents in the children's
upbringing.
-66-
Shutte (1994:50) describes how interaction takes place in
the family according to African view. He states that:
the best model for human community as
understood in African thought is the family.
The family has no function outside itself. It
is a means of growth for its members, and the
interaction, the companionship and conversation
between the growing and fully grown members is
also an end itself.
He rounds off his comment on the family with a reference
to the extended family for which African society is
famous:
And the extended family is capable of extension
to include anyone, not only those related by
blood, kinship of marriage. In the last resort
humanity itself is conceived of as a family, a
family which one joins at birth but does not
leave by dying. Because of this, no-one is a
stranger. The world is our common home, the
earth the property of all.
Child labour
Galston (cited by Young 1995:538) quite erroneously
considers the state to be the only organ capable of
addressing problems in our society problems such as
child labour and sexual abuse.
The question of child labour has to be addressed by
parents as well as the state. Protest marches are being
organised all over the world in which state officials and
-67-
members of the public take part to voice their objection
against this practice.
As indicated earlier on, parents send their children to
beg in the streets. This is a form of child labour which
like the other, exposes these children to unhealthy and
hazardous conditions where they are vulnerable to sexual
abuse, harassment and economic exploitation by other
youth. It has to be discouraged.
The family plays an important role in society. It is the
building block of a number of institutions . As Kimathi
(1994:57) rightly states:
The church needs the family to teach and model
Christianity. The Government needs homes in
which children can be socialized for good
citizenship. The family still remains the most
effective social control. It is regarded as
the best insurance against delinquency
(Neumeyer 1961:158 cited by Kimathi 1994:58)
It is in the families where lasting attitudes, morals and
values, which are so essential in a good, happy society
are learnt. As indicated earlier on, the virtues of
honesty, generosity and humility, hard work, loyalty and
respect for personal worth are taught here (Kimathi
1994:58) . Spykman in The Hope for the Family (1994:139)
stresses the role of parents in preparing the children
for their place in society:
The home is a kind of mini-society. The home
must open one door after another in every
direction looking out upon the larger realms of
societal life beyond, and gradually leading the
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younger set out into ever enlarging realms of
involvement.
This can be achieved if through table talk and family
prayers, our children come to a growing sense of the
family's involvement in the life of the Christian
communi ty and society at large. Through these efforts
children must see that the convenant is bigger than the
home and that the Kingdom is as big as life itself.
Ironically De Maupassant uses the view that the family is
the building block of society:
If society is a chain, each family is a link in
that chain. In order to weld those links we
always seek for metals of the same kind.
Building society is not an easy task. There are problems
which have to be solved along the way and several broad
issues which influence family life that need to be
addressed. Problems associated with single parent
families, child labour, education and migratory labour.
3.2 Family and education
Next to the family, schools play an important role in the
training of children with the view to preparing them for
future roles in society.
Upon entering school, the child enters a new world as it
were, one that has its own socializing programme.
Launched into school, Goodman and Marx rightly maintain
that the child is to some degree launched into society
for better or for worse.
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At school children come into contact with teachers who,
like parents, may become powerful role models. The
school is responsible for transmitting to children the
content of the dominant culture in history, its language,
its fund of knowledge and its norms (Goodman and Marx
1978:138) .
Kindergartens that are built, creches which now dot
various townships in South Africa as well as the most
modern pre-primary schools for children could be friends
of the family but they can never be adequate substitutes
for the family. Van der Walt (1995: 425) also sounds a
very strong warning. According to him a school will be a
failure:
if it can produce impressive statistics
about students achievements, but does not give
each student .the opportunity to be fully
equipped for service in the whole of his/her
life.
Missionary schools up to 1954 played an important role in
the development of the African children. Schools such as
Lovedale and Healdtown in the Cape, Inkamana in Natal,
Moroka Missionary Institute and Stofberg Gedenkskool in
the Free State, produced men who left footprints in the
history of the African people. There are many more.
After the depression in 1936 an increasing number of
young people were sent by their parents to high schools
and colleges. Many of those who completed their college
education came back to relatively well-rewarding jobs.
Values and expectations favouring higher education
spread. There was no shortage of teachers as this was
the only profession parents could afford to see their
children through.
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Bursaries were not easily obtainable. Parents who were
eager to see their children educated would often have to
sell their sheep, oxen and maize to pay fees and purchase
prescribed books. The young people who could only go as
far as Junior Certificate (Std 8) took up jobs in the
mining industries as clerks (mabalane).
Missionary schools in those days functioned in a way that
strengthened, encouraged and supported parents in their
unique task. How I wish this idea of supporting parents
could be turned into the Teachers Pledge of Service, then
toyi-toyis and sit-ins by teachers would be reduced
considerably.
3.2.1 Education brought about other changes, changes
such as:
(a) decline of parental authority; .
(b) changes in family roles; and
(c) freedom to attend the school of one's choice.
3.2.2 Decline of parental authority
The decline of respect for authority is a universal
phenomenon in our world. The lifestyle of the youth in
particular, is determined by negative freedom the
freedom from and not by the far more challenging freedom
to - that is normative freedom~
It is an established fact that one of the reasons for the
decline in parental authority is the introduction of
schools and churches, both of which offer alternative
systems of values, as well as new sources of authority.
Closely connected to this is the moral degradation
associated with racial discrimination which reduced the
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dignity and status of black parents and, also, the
children's. respect for their parents. These children
normally blamed their parents for what they termed the
"yes boss" attitude. In South Africa some parents who
occupied key positions in the urban councils which were
established by the apartheid regime, were branded 'sell-
outs' during the students' uprisings in the late 1970' s.
These councillors were told to relinquish their posts by
the students. Those who refused to comply to the demands
made by the students had their houses burnt down while
others were necklaced.
3.2.3 Changes in family roles
Many of the changes which started during the colonial
period have continued to this day to affect family roles
to a large extent. Children have to be at school for
longer periods and are often forced to work at their
assignments at home. These have reduced the hours which
the children have available for he1ping at home.
In the rural areas children have sufficient time after
school hours and even during the holidays to help their
parents. Girls are allowed little time to attend to
their books at home because a girls school performance is
not as highly valued as that of the boys.
In the latter part of the 20th century girls
(particularly in the urban areas) are being given the
same opportunity as boys, to further their studies. We
now have female doctors, female advocates and female
ministers of religion to mention a few positions which
were filled by males only in the past.
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Middle class men no longer leave all educational and
other responsibilities to their wives, but rather take a
more active part.
3.2.4 Freedom to attend the school of one's choice
The maj ori ty of South Africans have had little choice
regarding their education up to 1990. Things have now
changed. Black children are now admitted into white
schools. The government has made a good effort to reduce
the gap between black and white education. Upgrading of
all education facilities and the integration of these
would go a long way towards stabilising family life in
this country.
3.3 Family and church
I mentioned in chapter 2 that marriage is an ordinance of
God. He ordained it for mutual fellowship and
helpfulness between man and woman, for responsible
parenthood, for the making of home and building a family.
Since families are the pillars of our society, something
must be done to ensure that they live according to God's
plan for families. In my view the organ which is best
suited for this task is the church. This task cannot be
taken over by the government and social agencies.
The church, as the body of Christ, has to approach family
problems as sympathetic as Christ, its head, would have
done. Thus it should recognise man's sinfulness and the
imperfection of human society. Therefore while it
teaches and shows Christians the norm for Christian
marriage and family life, it should view in the spirit of
Christ every occurrence in our lives, even such
occurrences as divorce and polygamy; it should know that
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the persons involved are in desperate need of redemption
and that it is the pastoral responsibility of the church
to offer them reconciliation with God through Christ.
Regarding the occurrences of divorce and polygamy the All
African Seminar on the Christian Home and Family Life
(1963:9) rightly warns that:
Each case of divorce should be treated with
sympathy and pastoral care: the polygamist
should not be asked to put away his wives when
converted, as that would be contrary to our
commission as ambassadors of reconciliation.
We have no right to amend God's law of grace.
If a polygamist is really converted, to receive
him into the church with his wives is to place
him under perpetual penance.
For the church to achieve success, it is necessary
constantly for it to preach, to reach and to admonish in
the theological and practical things relating to the
Christian home and family life. Among the things which
the church have to teach are: preparation for marriage,
responsible parenthood, the place of man and woman in
God's purpose for society and the World (All Africa
Seminar on Christian Home and Family Life, 1963:9).
It is a part of the church's mission to pass judgments
even in matters .related to politics whenever the
fundamental rights of man or the salvation of soul
requires it (The Catechism of the Catholic Church
1994:525) . It is, I think, in pursuance of this call
that a few churches are up in arms, as it were, against
the sanctioning of the Abortion-on-demand Act. Meredith,
p3, in The World Ahead (March/April 1998), has this to
say about the role which Christians have to play in the
fight against abortion:
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I am nonetheless appalled at the hedonism,
the debauchery and the sheer brutality to which
this current generation has been exposed! And
I sense that our totally decadent adult society
is slowly but surely losing any sense
whatsoever of the true values and standards
that some of us may have been taught in years
past. How dare we sit back comfortably when we
read that nearly 35 million unborn babies have
been slaughtered over the past quarter century
of our lives! Remember, this 'legali zed
murder' that we call abortion has occurred on
our watch!
He ends up with a question directed to all of us:
How dare we call ourselves a Christian nation
when our officials knowingly sanction this kind
of mass murder ! When they give validi ty and
even certain blessing to sexual perverts!
In the same way in which we organise protest marches
against child labour we will have to organise marches
against this gross inhuman practice.
Finally, as Christian families we are called to transform
human realities into salvation realities, to enable the
good news of Jesus' salvation to become incarnate in the
actual society in which we live. The need to respond to
this call is, as Vic Missiaen maintains: the fundamental
reason why the church must play an active role in the
economic, political and social dimensions of development
(Missiaen: April/May 1998:16).
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3.4 Family and public morality
As I indicated in chapter 3.1 the family is the original
cell of social life. The real importance of this
institution for the life and well-being of society
entails a particular responsibility for society to
support and strengthen marriage and the family.
Having such an important role to play in society one
would expect civil authority to consider it a grave duty
to acknowledge the true nature of marriage and the
family, to protect and foster them, to safeguard public
morality and to promote domestic prosperity (Catechism of
the Catholic Church 1994).
In spite of the political and educational advancement of
our societies, people all over the continent,
particularly those in South Africa, are frustrated
because nothing posi tive is being done by their
governments· to end such problems as aids, abortion,
prostitution and rape which are facing them. In Gauteng
province alone over a thousand cases of rape are being
reported every month. Because of a promiscuous
lifestyle, aids has become a major threat. Of the black
children born in South Africa during the years 1989 and
1990, as I have already indicated, 69.8% were
illegitimate.
Detribalisation and apartheid laws among other causes,
led to social patterns that are all but conducive to a
healthy community. Instead of helping to check the
spread of aids the government is making it possible (in
spite of itself) for this deadly epidemic to spread by
passing the abortion-on-demand bill. In terms of this
law women can terminate pregnancy without the knowledge
and concurrence of their husbands. Young girls are also
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free to terminate their pregnancies without the consent
of parents. In another breath the government encourages
the use of contraceptives to combat aids!
It is indeed shocking that even among Christian
communities very few people speak up against
irresponsible sexual behaviour. Parents will be well-
advised to impress upon their children the need to take
precautionary measures to avoid unnecessary suffering. A
different kind of sexual freedom should be taught to our
children:
To us sexual freedom first of all should be
ethical: An expression of love with respect
for personhood, a comprehensive involvement
with the other person, a commitment to care for
and share with such a person. Secondly it
should respect the God-ordained social
structure to shield the relationship and
provide the ideal atmosphere for begetting and
raising children (Smit & Smit, 1995:15).
In our modern families both parents decide on the size of
the family they wish to have. I therefore find it
strange that women should be permitted to terminate their
pregnancies without consulting their husbands. Kobus and
Yvonne Smitend with a strong warning directed to all
Christian families:
To keep silent on the present cult of eroticism
is to aggravate the problem. Silence means
consent.
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Unemployment and the lowering of morals.
Unemployment has led to the lowering of morals in some
areas. Unemployed men sit around all day with nothing to
do and start drinking early in the morning. In the
afternoon when children come home from school, they are
often left unattended because their parents are out
working. They are offered food, drinks and sweets in
exchange for sex and many who are desperately poor,
accept the proposition from these "sugar daddies". Many
were lured in this way and have never been seen again
while a few were raped, butchered and buried in shallow
graves.
The number of divorce cases is gradually rising among
blacks. Something has to be done to stem this rising
tide. In my view a solution which will be better than
divorce to the problem of marital conflict would be to
learn how to predict incompatibility before two people
come to the marrying stage and use the information gained
to reduce the number of marriages which are likely to end
in divorce (Mercer 1958:261).
The social revolution and its effects on society
We are li ving in the age in which social customs and
moral values are gradually being replaced. The term
'social revolution' sums it all. By this is meant an
absolute· disregard for traditions. Good things from the
past no longer have a place in our societies. Our youth
have to learn by trial and error, as a result the number
of illegitimate children and the number of children
raised by unmarried mothers are rising at an alarming
rate.
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In any community some sense is left that social customs
embody more wisdom than could emerge in a single
generation. The decencies and hesitations that once
surrounded sex, are not arbitrary injunctions of a
departed ruling class but the wisdom of generations. Our
own duties cannot be understood only in terms of our own
experience. Without religion, law and morality lose their
authority. Religion is not so much revealed in the search
of doctrines but in the self-imposed daily duties of
people. What happened since the sexual revolution is that
we inhibit our basic convictions because the liberal press
relentlessly scoffs at ordinary prohibitions and decencies
while advocating "alternatives". Liberal sarcasm can kill
a lot of what is good in society, especially when it comes
from academic circles and government commissions (cf
Scruton, 1996:A8).
Ministers of religion, church councils and families
themselves have to join hands to teach the youth proper
Christian values. Children should be taught self-
restraint, self-discipline and responsibility, words
which are now despised in our culture. I subscribe to
the view held by Kobus and Yvonne Smit (1998:5) that:
We got rid of a lot of taboos, but we have
created new ones: never moralise about sex.
We back it up with rights: the right to free
sexual expression and the right to privacy.
Reality tells us that sex mostly happens in
private, but its consequences affects a family,
a community, a people, the public!
We will have to act fast, to teach our children these
values for the sake of living with integrity. As
Lombaard (1997) rightly maintains:
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We cannot be uncommitted bystanders. Simply
being human already commits us to the fate of
others.
We cannot speak of public morality. Not when the
government is passing laws which sanction abortion and
free sex. Not when women are given the right to decide
(without the knowledge of their husbands) whether they
want to have children or not.
3.5 Family planning/contraception
There are no hard and fast rules which limit parents to a
fixed number of children they should have. Previously,
before the sixties, family planning was no issue at all,
there was nothing you could do about the laws of nature.
Now many parents are in a position to decide on the issue
after careful consideration of the difficulties
encountered by parents who have large families or the
disadvantages of small families;
Contraception, which was at first not accepted by the
majority of the African people, has made dramatic
progress both in techniques and public acceptance even
among Africans. As Uys and Smit point out, contraception
has the advantage of improving the relationship between
husband and wife and also between parents and children
because more time, money and opportunities are available
(Uys and Smit 1987:1£).
Children today require much personal and individual
attention to prepare themselves to cope with our complex
society. Few parents can really cope adequately when
there are six or more children in the family. In African
families it is not unusual to find a couple having up to
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twelve children. As a result these parents find it
difficult to nurture and educate their children.
Contraception should, however, be seen as a tool to fight
a greater social evil. The modern sexually permissive
society would, as Uys rightly states, have a bigger
number of unwelcome children and single-parent families
if it had not been for contraception. Uys and Smit warn
that:
.., Contraception is not there for the sake of
unbridled sexual intercourse beyond marriage
limits (Uys and Smit 1987:18).
3.6 Abortion/termination of pregnancy
Termination of pregnancy can be defined as the separation
and expulsion by medical or surgical means of the
contents of the uterus of a pregnant woman (Termination
of Pregnancy Act, No. 92 of 1996).
In terms of the abovementioned act, Act 1996 (2.2) to
perform a termination of pregnancy only the consent of
the pregnant woman, unless she is incapable of giving
consent. In 7(1) the clause is explained further:
Notwi thstanding any law or the common law, no
consent other than that of the pregnant woman,
unless she is incapable of giving con~ent,
shall be required for the termination of
pregnancy.
Many criticisms have been raised against this act.
According to Christian ethics fatherhood and motherhood
are seen as offices that are being entrusted to them by
God. This implies that two people, not only the mother,
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are entrusted with a life for which they accepted
responsibility (Uys and Smit, 1987:23). H. Thielicke
(1979:231) cited by Uys and Smit (1987:23) holds that
both parents are, according to God's creational ordinance
for marriage and the nuclear family, responsible for the
granted gift.
Vilakazi in the City Press, 1997 April 6 condemns
abortion in very strong terms:
A woman's or girl's right to do as she pleases
with "her" body overrides all precepts that
undergird the fabric of family, church, tribe
and broader societal morality ... The Abortion
on Demand Bill hurts the dignity and kernel of
the African people - when a girl, a woman or a
wife will leave the house and go across the
street to procure an abortion, just as she
~ould get any item of her desire in a store.
He also finds the fact that women can procure abortion
without the knowledge of their husbands disturbing:
The more affluent fly out on a day off to
Durban to "get themselves fixed" and return
home to serve family supper without even a word
to the husband that will share her bed that
night. He is one of the ones who by the new
decree should "mind his own business~
Lombaard (1997: (i)) finds it quite disturbing that:
people who are generally against racism,
against the exploitation of children, against
sexism, against death penalty, somehow seem to
be in favour of abortion. People who are
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generally for freedom of speech, for freedom of
the mass media and arts, for the protection of
the individual against the state and the
prej udices of broader society, people who are
for social responsibility regarding the
underprivileged, are also - paradoxically - for
abortion on demand.
There seems to be a contradiction in values, to hold
liberal democratic views and at the same time be pro-
abortion.
3 .7 Adoption
According to the White Paper for Social Welfare: August
1995, adoption is a child protection and prevention
service and an effective means of procuring permanent
homes for children whose biological parents are unable to
care for them.
Adoption'also comes as a blessing for couples who cannot
obtain a family through the normal way of reproduction.
Olthuis (1975:76) has this to say regarding adoption:
This possibility too is a real blessing of the
Lord. Parents can have children even if they
cannot bear them and parents can control
conception even if they can have children.
In Africa children are so cherished that hardly anyone is
ready to give up his of her child for adoption. Africans
believe that God provides for each child born, thus the
idea of giving up a child for adoption is never thought
of, not even by parents who are extremely poor. Single
mothers would rather keep their children because Africans
have a high respect for motherhood. This is even the
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case with young girls of school-going age who have had a
fall. They would rather leave their children with their
parents while they pursue their studies than give them up
for adoption.
Instead of adoption, Africans practice a form of
fostering which is slightly different from the type of
fostering that we know by which couples take someone
else's child into their family for a certain period only.
According to African custom illegitimate children and the
children whose parents are unable to provide for them are
fostered by their childless aunts and uncles. Fostering
was and still is a common feature of African family life.
All foster children know their real parents, but are
happy to spend much of their life away from their
biological parents.
Adoption is gradually being accepted by Africans with the
only difference that while whites adopt children of
unknown parents blacks adopt children of their own
relatives.
Whatever forms adoption and fostering take, the adoptive
as well as fostering patents do a lot of good towards
reducing the suffering of homeless children.
3.8 Single parent families
The high rate of births out of wedlock has created
significant distortions in family patterns. In Nairobi
of the 60 000 street children 80% have one living parent.
According to the Star Aprill, 1998 , it is mainly single
mothers who send their children to beg in the streets as
a source of added income.
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Grandmothers who have had their shares in bringing up
their own children are forced to look after their
grandchildren, a task they can no longer perform well.
In roughly 65% of these cases the mothers are nowhere to
be found while the fathers cannot be traced to maintain
their children. As a result grandparents spend large
amounts of their pension grants on their grandchildren's
needs.
As a solution to this problem Galston (cited by Young
1995: 538) insists that public policy should take action
to discourage their existence. In my opinion this
problem can be solved by reviving the tradition of
marriage to make it easier for blacks to get married. At
present one finds a large number of young men who wish to
get married but are deterred by the amounts they are
expected to pay in lobola.
Sexual ethics should also be propagated instead of
running AIDS campaigns.
3.9 Divorce
Divorce has generated much criticism throughout the ages,
with the strongest criticism coming from the Catholic
Church which denies its members, to this day, the right
to divorce. Galston cited by Young (1995:538) also
opposes divorce in very strong terms. According to him
divor-ce has bad social consequences. He calls on the
state to implement policies which would encourage
marriage and discourage divorce and single motherhood.
One of the policy recommendations he makes for regulating
family life is that divorce should be made more difficult
to obtain to enable parents to raise their children into
good citizens.
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Such a step would obviously be unfair to couples whose
marriages are on the rocks. Moreover encouraging parents
to stay together when they do not want to may cause more
harm in children than allowing them to divorce in as
simple and peaceful a manner as possible (Young
1995:538).
3.10 Street children
Freedom, democracy and peace in Africa have done little
to improve the lot of young people who, if anything, are
as badly off as were children during World War II. Being
a child today means coping with an adult world in
unchildlike ways. Violence, war, abandonment and broken
families are reshaping the future of the children.
These children are on the street for various other
reasons. They are the orphans, the mentally, physically
and sexually abused who have run away or the children of
homeless people. Sometimes they are the breadwinners for
their families, supporting brothers and sisters and
parents who are unable to make a living.
Many children in our cities and towns are no longer
staying with their parents. If the question were to be
asked: Where have the children gone? the answer would
undoubtedly be: They have gone to live on the streets.
Winnie Graham in World Wide (1997:1) sums up the plight
of these children as follows:
While fortunate youngsters know the security of
a loving home, good health and a good
education, there are literally millions of
children, some just a few years old, who live
by their wits. Some were abandoned, some the
products of violence and war. All too many
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have been physically, mentally and sexually
abused.
The collapse of the extended family in Africa is one
other cause of this problem. Africans have traditionally
operated as extended rather than nuclear families. Lack
of accommodation has caused the breakup of families with
some members having to relocate in places far away from
others. The patterns of the support system on which the
families depended for many essential functions, including
childminding and housekeeping, have been disrupted
thereby.
Street children are treated differently in every country.
Some are ignored, some are murdered, some are sold into
prostitution and slavery (Laura Clarke, World Wide
1997:13) .
Southern Africa has not escaped the trauma of street
children. The first youngsters appeared on the streets
of. Johannesburg many years ago. Today there is hardly a
town in the country from Pietersburg to Potchefstroom,
from Vryburg to Ventersdorp without these forlorn waifs.
According to Graham (1997:1)
They converge on towns, living a hand to mouth
existence begging and sometimes doing petty
jobs. All too often adults who care littie
about their well-being exploit their
vulnerability.
Their fate is shared by children in the war ravaged
countries bordering on South Africa and countries further
north from Angola to Zaire, Rwanda and Kenya. Churches
and welfare organizations do what they can by building
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shelters and teaching skills but this is only a partial
answer. Children need families.
These homeless children make their own way in a world
they did not create and their numbers are outpacing all
church and government efforts to stem the tide. These
neglected and ignored children are the shame of our big
cities. They are grave reminders of our lost family and
communi ty values and failed government and social
policies (Laura Clarke 1997:13).
The only hope for the next generation rests with us.
Only by making a concerted effort to stop the violence -
on the battlefield and in the homes and returning to
tradi tional family values, can we hope to provide the
boys and girls of tomorrow with real security. It is a
monumental task but one which the church, the parents and
the state must tackle and set a lead for all to follow
(Winnie Graham 1997:1).
These children do not have a voice to cry for them. We
are their voice. We have to articulate their needs. As
Christians we should not be part of those who are living
in luxury while others are facing death.
A last remark:
The results of the aids crisis are beginning to dawn on
us. It has implications for the problem of street
children as well. The more the orphans, the more likely
the children will land on the streets. A comprehensive
moral solution is imperative.
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3.11 Family authority and discipline
Parents are invested with authority over their children
according to the ordination of God. Their authority is
however not the same as state authority, or church
authority.
Authority in the family determines both how
children should behave towards their parents as
well as how parents should behave towards their
children. The apostle states this double
relationship as follows: "Children obey your
parents and you parents provoke not your
children to wrath" (Schrotenboer, 1995:15).
Their authority is an authority of love and their
discipline should bear the qualification of love and
fidelity for if it does not have these two factors, it is
no discipline.
Authori ty and punishment are intended to help develop a
child's own sense of responsibility and to help inculcate
in him/her virtues such as love of God and the fellowman,
fidelity , reliability , humility, respect for other
people, justice and many others. Scripture warns parents
to discipline their children. This warning is stated
emphatically in Provo 19:18:
Discipline your son while there is hope, do not
set your heart on his destruction.
Dooyeweerd (1957:276) shares this opinion. Parents have
to guide their children every step of the way. He makes
the following contribution in this regard:
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In keeping with the inner structural law of the
family in its narrowed sense, parental
discipline has an exclusively pedagogical
character bound to the special guidance of
parental love. The exercise of this
disciplinary competence ought to be
accommodated to the stage of development of the
children.
Dooyeweerd (1957:274) warns parents not to abandon their
moral authority and the children to obey their parents.
If parents behave (as many do in the squatter
settlements) as the older comrades of their children, the
typical parental bond of love which qualifies the family
relationship is violated. He further warns that:
A relationship which scorns obedience and
authority, and implies equality of the
individuals. .. lacks the tender tone which the
divine order gives to love between parents and
children. Respect for the divine office of
parents plays an essential role in the latter,
it can never be disregarded with impunity
(Dooyeweerd 1957:274).
Uys and Smit (1987:33) share this view:
Each parent that flinches from discipline and
thus believes in the myth of boundless freedom,
uninhibited creativity or permissiveness (anti-
authoritarian education) makes a caricature of
his office and commits an injustice towards his
child.
One could perhaps add that the parent commits an
injustice towards society as well, since a child who gets
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what he wants from his parents in all situations, will
also expect to have it in all relationships outside the
family.
Van der Walt (1994:419) also shares this view. To the
question of no authority he adds little authority.
Little or no authority, he maintains, can lead to
confusion, uncertainty and lack of discipline in a child.
That this is so, can be supported by a study of African
children who are left in their grandmothers' care. They
lack proper training and are often thoroughly spoilt.
Parents dare not scold the children in front of their
grandparents for fear of being told that: "you were
naughtier than that but we did not scold you that way",
by the overprotective grandmother.
In African families particularly, among the Basotho and
Tswanas, children who are named after their grandparents
or uncles may not be punished or called by their names
since if you do so, you would be regarded as having no
respect for the grandparent or uncle after whom the child
is named. These children are either referred to as
"Ntate, Rara (father) Malome (uncle) depending on the
relationship of the person after whom the child is named.
Some parents exercise too much authority. According to
Van der Wait (1994:419) too much authority can lead to
fearful anxiety on the one hand or rebellion on the
other.
According to African tradition girls are supposed to be
home before sunset or face the wrath of their parents for
coming home late. Many have taken their lives rather
than face their parents' wrath. African boys choose to
roam about the streets at night after being scolded by
their parents rather than go back home. Those who stay
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become rebellious and tend to resent all forms of
correction.
Strauss has the following good advice to parents in his
thesis The Ethics of Public Welfare (1995:176):
Discipline which respects the dignity of the
child and therefore expects and nurtures a
maturing towards responsibility, is the
foundation of a secure sense of identity and
adulthood.
Guidance without rules is not complete. However guidance
in the home is not just rule upon rule, ordinance upon
ordinance (Olthuis 1975:86).
Van der Walt (1994:419) also warns that:
Growth in personal responsibility in a child is
also curtailed when parents simply give
commands.
Many rules which we find in African tradition are rules
which were laid down long ago. The rule that a newly wed
woman 'Makoti' should wear dresses which go as far down
as her ankles, and the rule that she should sit behind
the door for some months after her wedding, were brought
down from time immemorial and should really be
discontinued. Van der Walt (1994:419) gives sound advice
on this issue:
Family rules should therefore not rest merely
on tradition or contingency, but the parents
have to be convinced that they act in the way
in which God wants them to fulfil their
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responsibility towards their families - even if
not in a perfect fashion.
3.12 Children's adventures and parental support
In African families infants are allowed to do anything
during their crawling stages but this permissiveness
changes in early childhood. Durojaiye makes the
following observation in A Christian Religious Education
Course for School Certificate (Book II):
The permissiveness, always noticeable in
African homes .whereby an infant child can do
anything during sucking and crawling periods,
suddenly changes in many homes to an excessive
restrictiveness in early childhood. The fast
talking inquisitively questioning child is now
reprimanded for interrupting conversations or
for being too talkative. Noises of all kinds
are now frowned upon (1975:55).
It is not unusual to hear Christian parents reprimanding
their children in such strong terms as:
This child has no respect, he always interrupts
his father in his conversation. Keep quiet!
Durojaiye warns rightly that these activities which are
growth stimulants are repressed thereby.
This may lead to a personality that has no capacity to
accept or initiate new ideas in a rapidly changing world.
In many cases, I think, children who are described as
'lazy' and unwilling to work are children whose parents
expressed no desire for them to try new things. Liberal
Westerners subscribe to the view that: 'experience is the
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best teacher'. Their children are given opportunities to
learn.
According to Western tradition dating is acceptable.
Young men invite their girlfriends to their homes to have
lunch together. Through dating these young people have a
chance of knowing each other fully: each others likes
and dislikes. When they ultimately get married they
stand a good chance of staying happily together.
African parents do not allow their daughters to go out
with young men for fear that they may become pregnant.
To do this, however is to deny them freedom to act as
responsible individuals.
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CHAPTER 4
TRADITIONAL FAMILY LIFE AND FACTORS THAT LED TO ITS
DISINTEGRATION
In this chapter I shall discuss the part played by
parents and the extended family in the upbringing of
children. I shall also discuss the conditions that bring
about changes in social patterns.
4.1 Family life in Africa
In Africa families tend to follow traditional patterns.
In many homes duties which are supposed to be performed
by both parents become the responsibility of women.
Kayongo-Male Diane (1984:27) is also of the opinion that
very few husbands are dedicated to their families:
Few husbands help much with the children's
homework and they may seldom feel pressure from
having too many demanding roles. Some may in
fact, feel that their only role is to provide
money for the family's maintenance.
In tribal courts men are often heard arguing that they
buy sufficient groceries for their families. One thing
which these men fail to understand is that their families
need their company and not the material things which they
are provided with. Instead of being close to their
parents, children who live in such families do not easily
communicate with them and as there is no one with whom
they can share their problems, they turn to the street
where they will be taught how to spend their lives.
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Children are not the only ones who experience this
problem of communicating with others. In traditional
society on the whole communication between husband and
wife is unknown. Small wonder instead of sharing her
husband's problems, a woman will come with such
suggestions as:
Try a Disprin Ntate (father) it will help ease
your tension!
Which is unfortunately no solution at all. All because
she is never consulted in her husband's affairs. Olthuis
(1975:104) sums up the question of sharing as follows:
The family is a we-situation in which parents
and children develop and grow into full persons
through open-end sharing.
Maswanganyi (The miracle of marriage), (NO:13) rounds off
his argument on a 'home' as a place where children's
dreams:
can be crippled, frustrated and shattered, be
their dreams spiritual, intellectual, physical,
professional, material or marital.
Many children ended up as drop-outs at school or even
twilight children because they were not prepared by their
parents to reach their dreams while ot.he r s went astray
because they were brought up by over-authoritative
fathers. Children should be disciplined not terrorized.
Discipline was translated out as follows by Paul in his
letter to the Ephesians:
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Fathers do not exasperate your children instead
bring them up in the training and instruction
of the Lord (Ephesians 5:4).
Any man, by turning the place where he lives into a happy
home, will improve relations between parents and children
and between one family and the next. I firmly believe
that happy homes produce happy children, happy children
create a happy community, a happy community makes a happy
world. A home will still remain a happy place for the
mother and her children even if the father spends time
visiting friends if these visits take place under the
norm of troth. Similarly father and children will still
deri ve happiness from their home even if the mother has
to attend "manyano" (women's guild) if this takes place
under the norm of troth. These activities and others
such as balancing the budget, attending worship services,
skating and just plain living, are, as Olthuis mentions,
necessary and should take place under the norm of troth
(Olthuis, 1975:80).
As the family grows the need for both husband and wife to
raise their children jointly increases. Often the wife
has to stay home to look after them.
Many mothers have no one to talk to during the day. This
creates a strong need for them to relate their problems
to their husbands when they come back home in the
evenings. Unfortunately many husbands, partly because
they wish to avoid what they perceive to be a boring
rehash of household frustrations, and partly because of
the customary habit of letting women do everything in the
house, drop headlong onto their couches with the evening
newspapers or would rather go out visiting till late to
spend time with friends to avoid various domestic duties
in which they are not really interested.
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The whole idea of husbands helping their wives in
household chores and in educating their children is un-
African. However, a few are beginning to see the need to
do so. This is one clear lesson which African children
as parents of tomorrow, will have to learn. By accepting
this lesson and by putting it into practice, future
African families will be happy families indeed.
On the question of child-rearing practices, Durojaiye
maintains that these have to be changed. He states that
African parents rarely play with their children. Adults,
especially fathers, think that children are too junior,
they do not understand, so why play with them? Those
children will not know how to talk with adults or
appreciate what the adult world is like. He correctly
maintains that:
If the father plays with a child, the child
sees how his father passes a ball and imitates
him (Durojaiye:Book 11:2) .
The extended family
This topic was discussed in Chapter 3. In this chapter I
want to point out shy the extended family was so
essential in traditional African families and why it is
still essential in the modern period.
This type of family differs from the nuclear family in
that it consists of several nuclear families united by
parent-child relationship and living together either in
the same house or in a compound.
The agrarian family consisted not only of the father,
mother and children, but ranged wider to include
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grandfathers, aunts, uncles, etc. No distinction was
drawn between household and extended family.
Another type of joint family common in Africa is the
patrilineal extended family which is formed by a custom
whereby sons remain in their father's family group
bringing their wives to live with them so that their
children belong to the group.
The patrilineal extended family is still found in various
parts of South Africa. In the Transkei and in large
parts of KwaZulu Natal - particularly in the rural areas
_ married sons stay with their parents until the birth of
their first children. Thereafter they move to their own
separate houses to avoid clashes with the rest of the
family members.
The extended family functions strongly in the urban areas
also. In his studies on the cities of Brazzaville,
Dakar, Lagos, Leopoldville and Stanleyville Aldous (1962)
concluded that the extended family still functioned
strongly in the urban areas in terms of the co-residence
of two or more nuclear families, joint activities by the
extended family, assistance exchanged among individual
relatives and friendship networks of kin members (cited
by Diane, 1984:35).
Peter Marris (1966) in The Family and Social Changes in
an African City has a different opinion. According to
him when nuclear families were relocated away from their
extended family members, the frequency of visiting
decreased and mutual aid declined. According to him
therefore, distance was one of the maj or factors which
altered family relationships by reducing opportunities
for visiting and interaction. He further argues that the
ties between members of the extended families can not be
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strengthened since, with relatives coming to town
expecting to live freely off working relatives, problems
will always be created. Such relatives may never find
work but may cause serious financial problems in the
family before they are told to leave (cited by Kayongo-
Male Diane, 1984:34).
This is not the case in Africa. Families living in the
urban areas are happy to have someone staying in their
homes to look after their properties while they are away
at work. Oscar Lewis says that the extended family
becomes stronger despite the pressures to which it is so
often exposed. The same can be said of families in
africa. In Africa, the extended family often financially
assist migrants in towns, in order to help the migrant to
obtain work quickly. Like Oscar Lewis, Aldous maintains,
rightly, that:
"Even with numerous strains on the extended
family, it would be very wrong to argue that
the urban environment has significantly reduced
the relevance of the extended family" (quoted
by Diane, 1984:35).
4.1 This communal feature of the African traditional way
of life is still found in the extended family system of
today which is characterised by mutual help and
interdependence. Hence the traditional African makes no
clear distinction betweeri "brother, half-brother, sister,
half-sister". They have no such terms in their
languages. Any member of the extended family who has the
fortune of being a little better off economically than
others come to their aid. Today all over Africa children
of poor parents are being helped by relations to acquire
education. Many Africans generally help train children
of relations before their own children grow up, and
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sometimes even along with their own children. In this
way the whole extended family shares in the fortune (or
the misfortune at times) of its members. The Tswanas
have a fitting idiom which brings this out vividly:
'Bana ba motho ba arolelane hloho ya tsie' (relatives are
always willing to share any item of food be this as big
as a locust's head).
Apart from migrants, younger relatives are often sent to
towns to help care for children and housework while the
mother works or to look after a grandparent (Quoted by
Diane, 1984:35).
Addressing all people in terms derived from relations in
the nuclear family says something of ubuntu in the
extended family, clan and community: mtwana warn, ma,
mme, tate, sisi, buti. And then: ntate moholo. The
popular way of saying to a single person 'lekae' in the
plural form suggests not only warm relationship between
the people but also a sense of belonging and familyhood.
Indeed the extended family is still relevant in our
townships in South Africa. Grandparents still play an
important role in the upbringing of their illegitimate
grandchildren. Boys who intend marrying will not break
the news to their fathers. According to African custom
the task is performed by uncles and where there are none
by grandparents. A young man who breaks this practice by
approaching his father personally is regarded as having
no manners and as showing no respect for his father. It
is also not unusual for parents to encourage their sons
to marry especially when they are about 30 years of age.
The part played by extended families in the following
spheres cannot be overemphasized:
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(a) Economic sphere
People need food, shelter and medical care. Every
society has its own way of meeting these basic needs.
Thus agricultural societies have extended families
because more hands are needed to do the many kinds of
work that farming entails.
In the townships where there is no such need family
members usually join hands whenever there is need. For
instance they will readily join hands to assist one
member who is in need of financial assistance. Generally
speaking, if one member works he is expected to look
after the entire family.
(b) Educational sphere
The role played by aunts, uncles, etc. in the upbringing
of children is summed up by Goodman (1978:340):
Many of the world 1 s children are fed, changed
and taught to tell right from wrong not only by
their parents but also by a large network of
aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins - the
extended family of which their parents are only
a small part.
This also serves to indicate that the child belongs as
much to the rest of the family as to the parents.
(c) Social sphere
In the urban area children are sent on errands by their
uncles and aunts and other family members while in the
rural areas (Ezilalini) they help their uncles, and their
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grandfathers in the fields. Their parents will raise no
objections since, as indicated above, children belong as
much to the rest of the family as to the parents.
Family members need one another. Our aunts, brothers and
sisters give us support during weddings and funerals
along with other relatives. Many of us are the products
of the good work done by relatives other than our
parents. Your relatives guard your house when you are
away on holiday. Your parents look after your children
when you are away working in the mines. It is also
possible that we are rising in life and holding key
positions because a kind elder brother or sister educated
us. With Africans it is clear, children need their
aunts, brothers and sisters and they in turn need the
children. Family relationships are therefore
strengthened rather than weakened.
One could justifiably conclude that nuclear families
which maintain strong extended kin relationships are more
upwardly mobile than nuclear families that are isolated
from extended family relationships.
All the things that have been mentioned here are indeed
good things inherent in our African culture which should
not be discarded during our assimilation of Western
culture.
I therefore share the sentiments of some elderly African
statesmen that this traditional African 'familyhood' be
extended beyond the confines of the extended family and
made to embrace the whole of each African nation, the
whole continent of Africa and to all nations of the
world. By so doing, selfishness which leads to all sorts
of corruption will definitely have no place in our
society.
-103-
There are indeed a lot of good things from the past and a
lot of good things from the Western culture from which we
could build a truly African approach to life.
4.2 Communal experience versus individualistic Western
approach
According to the Western way of thought man is born an
individual. He is unique and is an independent entity.
The Africans regard man as a communal being, in other
words, man becomes man through a gradual process of
integration into society. To the African therefore, the
community comes first, then the individual.
Mbiti puts this aptly as follows:
"I am because we are, and since we are therefore I am
(quoted by Van der Walt, 1994:211).
The same idea is stated as follows:
"I am because we are, I share in the community therefore
I exist."
The following Sotho proverb also brings out the same
notion clearly:
Motho ke motho ka batho (Man is only man through his
fellowmen) . This is a prominent idea in the Bible as
well. In the Garden of Eden Adam attains fulfilment only
in his relationship with Eve and vice versa. I am also
of the opinion that man only comes to full humani ty in
and through other people.
Van der Wait (1994:396) sums this up as follows:
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Human existence therefore reveals a relational
structure. In its very being it is community-
directed. If the apartheid ideology or any
other view therefore maintains that some people
cannot or should not in principle enter into a
relationship with others, or that they do not
qualify to participate in society, it is a
fundamental transgression of the essential
communal directness of human existence and also
of the Will of God.
To the Westerner it is first the individual then the
community or social relationship. Makgoba has made a
valuable contribution in his article In Search of The
Ideal Democratic Model for South Africa (Sunday Times,
October 27 1996). He argues that various democracies
have in common a number of problems the most threatening
of which are issues of a reduction of human valueS,
materialism, an "overemphasis on the individual above
community and a profound crisis of authority".
This view can be expressed as follows:
We are because I am. The community exists because it is
constituted by individuals.
As a result of their outlook on life, it is not unusual
in Western societies to hear one man saying that he does
not know who his neighbour is. Even at church one may
share a seat with one and the same person for three
consecutive Sundays and still make no effort to know who
the person is. One could therefore conclude that the
West often has mere collections of individuals as against
true communities.
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In African communities anyone who does not know who his
neighbour is would be regarded as very selfish. In
African communities neighbours share their problems and
are ready to assist one another in every possible way.
The virtue of sharing and compassion are regarded very
highly in Africa. The individual has a social commitment
to share with others what he has. Stinginess
(amagogotya) is anti-social and thus one of the greatest
imaginable sins. One seldom hears the traditional
African saying that "this is my land" "my cattle".
Usually they will say that "this is our land" "our
cattle".
To the Westerner the OUR is an addition while this is an
essential and innate component for the African. Menkiti
(1979:167) makes the following observation:
Unlike Western societies which are organized on
the basis of rights, for the traditional
African the concepts of duties predominates.
In the African understanding priority is given
to the duties which individuals owe to
collecti vi ty and their rights, whatever these
may be, are seen as secondary to the exercise
of their duties (Cited by Van der Walt,
1994:211) .
In the rural areas, for instance, women organi ze teams
for the purpose of removing weeds from their
mealiefields. While in the urban areas men and women
form organizations known as Masingcwabane (burial
organizations) since to the African death is a loss not
only for the family but for the community as a whole.
For Europeans material things have become more important
than people. Westerners will, for instance, do
-106-
everything possible to ensure that their cars are not
stolen or that their houses are not broken into. They
fit them with alarm systems or security
devices.
Regrettably, their aging parents do not receive such
attention. They are placed in old-age institutions,
something which is unheard of in traditional Africa.
The African respects people especially older people.
Children stay with their old parents and they look after
them. Grandchildren lead their grandparents to clinics
or even to Municipal centres to receive their pensions.
Kaunda is also of the opinion that people are far more
important than material things. It also annoys him that
Westerners shift their elderly to the sidelines in old-
age institutions. He condemns this practice in
very
strong terms. According to him:
It is a sin to deprive old people of especially
their grandchildren. It is damaging not to be
able to listen to their wisdom. It is
therefore not a duty but a pleasure to care for
them personally (Quoted by Van der Walt,
1994:213) .
Unlike Westerners who fear age probably because one will,
supposedly, then be worthless, Africans view age as an
asset. When expressing a special word of thank you for a
kind deed Basothos express it as follows: U hole u
Kgokgobe" (May you live to a ripe old age) .
Kaunda (1966:20-32) expresses the difference between the
Western way of thinking and the African way of thinking
as follows:
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Socially, qualities weighed much heavier in the
balance than individual achievement. The
success-failure complex seems to me to be a
disease of the age of individualism the result
of a society conditioned by the diploma, the
examination and the selection procedure. In
the best tribal society people were valued not
for what they could achieve but because they
were there. Their contribution however limited
to the material welfare of the village was
acceptable, but it was their presence not their
achievement which was appreciated (Kaunda,
1966:23 cited by Van der Walt, 1994:213).
This of course is a very relative statement making a
mockery of all individual initiative and playing down
individual merit. It is a sure way of stagnating African
culture.
Changes are taking place. The elite are turning their
backs on their needy relatives. Kimathi expresses this
as follows:
For the Western educated African elite
relatives are a total nuisance. You drive home
and seven per,sons want to have a ride in the
back of your saloon car (Kimathi, 1994:92).
It is gratifying to know that the Bible condemns "those
who do not take care of their relatives, especially
members of his family, he has denied the faith and is
worse than the unbeliever" (Timothy, 5:8).
Regrettably middle class Africans, not only the Western
educated eli te, are beginning to regard material things
as much more important than people. According to Mbiti
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(1974:51-52), the situation is aggravated by the fact
that the elite have:
Very high affinity for Western, European and
American value systems and standards which
define personal goals and achievement norms.
To this extent, they are alienated from their
parental culture, and often use double
standards and experience extreme cognitive
dissonance (Cited by Kimathi, 1994:8)
Both individualism and communalism offer no satisfactory
answer to the quest ion: "Who am I? 1/ as each asks what
is within the human person that gives identity to that
person as Van der Walt (1997:64) rightly puts it:
They each look for something within the human
world that gives meaning to human existence.
Both must be rejected because they fail to give us a true
picture of man. Van der Walt (1997:65) states further
that:
It is therefore more accurate to state that a
human person has individuality, than to say
that the person is an individual. And to say
that a human being has a communal dimension,
rather than to say that the person is a
communal being. Individuali ty and communali ty·
each represents a fundamental quality of
humanness, but neither defines the human
person.
The Scripture encourages us to have a proper view of the
indi viduali ty and communali ty of the person. As Fowler
(1995:33) puts it:
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The human person is never just an individual;
personhood always involves communal relations
and obligations. Social relations are not
subordinate to individual interest. On the
contrary; the Gospel calls us to recognize the
need to subordinate our individual interests in
love to the interests of others (Phillipians
2: 4) .
4.3 Changing social patterns
There are six main reasons for the changes that are
taking place in our society today:
1. Absence of men from home.
2. Contact between societies.
3. Relations between parents and children.
4. Sexual life.
5. Ceremonies connected with various transition
phases.
6. Efforts of Christianity.
4.3.1 Absence of men from home
There is an increasing number of female-headed households
in various parts of Africa. As men take up jobs in the
cities and also in the mines, women are left to till the
land and to care for the children as well as aged parents
and other rela tives in the rural areas. In Africa as a
whole, rural households are headed by women since the
male heads are often away in town or in the mines. In
some cases eldest sons take over the role of their
fathers in running the affairs of the family.
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Some women who cannot tolerate the instability of
marriage choose to engage in careers consequently
becoming self-supporting heads of their households.
4.3.2 Contact between societies
population movement
In sharp contrast to the conditions in the 1980' s when
movement to urban areas was restricted by influx control
resulting in the channeling of large numbers of Africans
into settlements and the homelands; urbanization during
the 1990's have been rapid. Urbanization during the
1980's was rapid. The proportion of the black population
living in areas notably in areas are Durban, parts of
Bophuthatswana and Kwa Ndebele close to Pretoria, and
Botshabelo , close to Bloemfontein, rose from 42% in 1980
to 50% in 1990. Movement was an unplanned shock
(Ramphele 1991:23).
Urban areas
Black local authorities which have been in place since
1980 with inadequate sources of revenue have been unable
to provide adequate infrastructure and services. There
were other problems besides these. According to Ramphele
(1991:91) some 40% of the metropolitan black population,
outside of 'homelands', earns incomes below the poverty
line of R700 per month [2] and that 25-40% of the
potential economically active black population is
formally unemployed [3]. Consequently vast numbers of
people are engaged in a desperate daily struggle to meet
basic needs.
The housing backlog is estimated as well over one million
units, and more than seven million people live in
-111-
informal housing: free-standing or backyard shacks,
outbuildings and garages.
These poor living conditions, poverty and unemployment
led to the lowering of morals which in turn gave rise to
housebreaking and theft.
With the abolition of influx control people are now free
to move from one place to another to look for work taking
with them a few members of their families. Changes are
bound to take place in the lives of the newcomers. The
good manners taught in the rural areas are lost as
children and their parents come under the influence of
newly-acquired friends in the townships. As time goes on
the language spoken by the newcomers is affected. It is
no longer pure but becomes a mixture of either Xhosa,
Sotho or Shangaan, depending on the languages spoken by
the people in the areas in which the newcomers settle.
This is how "Fanakalo" originated in Johannesburg. With
the lowering of morals, gangs and gang warfare originated
in our big cities in Africa.
4.3.3 Relations between parents and children
There is a marked change in the relations between parents
and children. As a result of periodical migration of men
to seek work in the towns, and mothers working elswhere,
children are freed from parental authority. Other
socializing agencies such as the school and the church
fail to provide training to match the training which the
children received under tribal conditions. Young boys
and girls who under the old forms of control could not
meet in public, can now be seen at the corner of the
streets hugging and kissing in front of elderly people.
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Unemployment in Africa is resulting in rising crime rate
and the breakdown of family lives. Parents become
sometimes abusive and unreasonably strict. Children
react differently to adults under such conditions. Many
leave home to look for work. Some become street children
(Pick 'n Pay, 1997:13).
Children who support their parents end up running the
affairs of their families. Pick 'n Pay has the following
contribution:
Children who are earning money when their
parents are not, tend to have more 'power' over
their parents and families. The parents find
it difficult sometimes even impossible, to
discipline such children. Given the fact that
the child has taken over providing the finances
for the survival of the family, they also end
up taking over the decision-making role from
the parents (Pick 'n Pay, 1997:13).
Children want to be free to do as they please. Schapera
sees this as follows:
There has consequently been a development of
youthful independence and irresponsibility
which the old forms of authority are no longer
able to control and which the new influences
seem unable to check. The young people no
longer look to their parents for guidance in
everything, but are tending more and more to do
as they please (Schapera, 1936:381).
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4.3.4 Sexual life
Unterhalter attributes the change in sexual life to the
change in the structure of the African family.
According to him, the traditional African family was
patriarchal, partrileneal and patrilocal. The pattern he
states, is no longer the same in the urban areas owing to
the breakdown of marriage. (I would add here owing
largely to the lowering of morals through social contacts
and to some degree television). Young African women in
the cities bear children out of wedlock. It is estimated
that as many as half of the children born in the
townships are illegitimate (Unterhalter, 1987:138)
Schapera (1962:382) attributes this change to the marked
relaxation of the old sexual morality. According to him,
premarital sex relations are so widely practised as to
have become almost customary and so frequent have
premari tal births become that the old attitude towards
illegitimacy has considerably toned down.
This lowering of morals has led to the rising number of
AIDS cases in Africa and the rest of the world.
In a survey that was conducted in America it is reported
that very few people change their behaviour to protect
themselves against HIV infection. Only 30 % of the
respondents in this survey say that they have changed
their behaviour because of the danger of AIDS (Michael,
1995:207-217) cited by Smit & Smit (1995:4). The
situation is far worse in the South African community.
The ignorance on the issue is unbelievable or
unpardonable. People tend to respond to their sexual
instinct like animals - hormones dictate their behaviour,
not norms.
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4.3.5 Ceremonies connected with various transition
phases
In a number of countries in Africa, traditional
ceremonies connected with various stages of a person's
life were observed for example: Marriage ceremonies,
funeral ceremonies, passing over ceremonies by boys after
their circumcission.
According to African tradition one ceremony was not
enough to create an African marriage. Therefore in terms
of traditional African marriage the formalization of
marriage was based on a series of interrelated ceremonies
or steps rather than a single ceremony.
In some quarters in Lesotho women were not allowed to be
at the graveside during burial ceremonies. They were
permitted to witness the proceedings at a distance of 50
metres from the grave.
Typical black ceremonies were conducted in the past to
mark the passing over of boys to the stage of 'young men'
(abakwetha) .
4.3.6 Effects of Christianity
Christianity brought about various changes. For example
Christians have not only adopted the new rites of baptism
and confirmation, but they also celebrated births,
marriages and deaths according to the rituals of their
churches. Marriage ceremonies now take an hour only.
The passing over of boys have been replaced by 'coming-
of-age' parties which are celebrated when young men and
young girls turn twenty one years. The moral protection
of group solidarity got lost along the line.
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CHAPTER 5
ETHICS A HISTORICAL AND META-ETHICAL SURVEY
In this chapter I am going to discuss the views held by
Greek philosophers and the 19th century ethicists who
erroneously maintained that ethics is the science of the
good and the bad. In my opinion the duty of ethics is to
describe relevant ethical norms for a specific situation
and it has nothing to do with the good and the bad.
5.1 A brief look at history
Ethics is as old as philosophy itself. One can therefore
justifiably conclude that there is almost no philosopher
who did not give this subject his attention. This is
true of such famous thinkers as Plato, Aristotle, Moore,
Hume and Kant.
Ethics can be defined as the science of the ethical
modality. Contrary to general belief ethics is not the
science of the good and the bad. Ethics does not study
normativity in general but only ethical normativity.
Ethics has the duty to describe the relevant ethical
norms for a specific field of inquiry.
Some define ethics simply as: the philosophy of good
human conduct. Dewey (1922) has a more comprehensive
view. He, for example, defines ethics as follows:
Ethics is not normative or merely descr iptive
but always prospective, studying the total
range of individual and social behaviour in the
quest for ways of living that lead to more
enriching, satisfying and freeing relationships
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of persons to others and to the world about
them.
Cited by Handy (1986:493)
Because no systematic analysis of what ethics is about
can do without a survey of the history of moral
philosophy (and vice versa), I first want to analyse some
monumental meta-ethical systems in the history of
philosophy.
Plato
With the collapse of traditional society in Athens,
values which, for many ages were accepted and taken for
granted, were questioned during Plato's lifetime. This
led to intellectual and moral confusion. Prompted by
these conditions Plato looked for clear and firm
definitions of pleasure and knowledge and their
relationship to the 'good'. Like Socrates, Plato taught
that knowledge was virtue, ignorance was vice. Virtue
could be learnt, like any new insight. In the Philebos
Plato changed his attitude by teaching that insight was
not sufficient to move the will, that virtue was a matter
of inborn uprightness (Smit, 1997:28).
According to Plato the ultimate obj ect of the uni verse
was the good. All things, including man, were part of
that. In the sphere of ideas, the idea of the good and
the beautiful was central. Plato held that man with his
immortal soul was part of the realm of ideas. He wanted
to possess the highest good by elevating himself above
the sensual world.
Plato maintained that the world can be of great help to
man in hi s at tempt to reach his goal, but it also can
thwart all his attempts thereby reducing all his chances
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of success. Reason has, however, something good to offer
- in relation to the world of ideas. Man needs ideas to
grow both spiritually and intellectually.
Smit (1997:28) summarizes Plato's view on the two roles
played by the world as follows:
If man became too attached to the world, it
drew him away from his destiny. But the world,
because it shared in the realm of ideas, also
represented something good.
By climbing to the world of ideas, the world will be good
as far as that particular man who does so, is concerned.
Close relationship between man and the world has to be
maintained so that, driven by the true Eras, he would
search for the higher world. This is in harmony with the
thoughts Plato had about the world. Stumpf (1977:80)
states that Plato's first thought about the world is that
though it is full of change and imperfection it
nevertheless exhibits order and purpose.
Aristotle
Aristotle's ethics is also the ethics of the 'good'.
Unlike Plato, he argues that 'good' is not the name of a
single quality. Different kinds of things are called
good for different reasons. According to him: An axe is
a good one if it cuts efficiently, eyes are good if they
see well. If we want to decide the good life for man we
will have to ask what functions are proper of a man. A
good man, according to Aristotle is one who performs
given functions excellently (Urmson, 1975:34).
Aristotle regarded ethics as a branch of political
science since it studies good for human beings as social
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creatures. This led him to search untiringly for the
ethical by studying man's deeds.
Every act has a definite purpose and is directed towards
the attainment of a specific goal. This notion is
brought out clearly in Nicomachean Ethics 1094(a) 1-3:
Every act and every inquiry, every action and
choice, seems to aim at some good whence the
good has rightly been defined as that at which
all things aim.
For Aristotle, the realization of form was equal to the
realization of 'good'. His ethics was therefore
teleological in the sense that morali ty for him existed
in man performing certain deeds not because he regards
them as right but because he sees them as something that
brought him closer to what is good for man.
Aristotle maintained that all things by nature seek their
own good and that man's final good is happiness
eudaimonia - or well-being. Well-being or happiness are
activities in accordance with virtue. Aristotle regards
theoretical ability as the highest virtue in man. If one
exercises this ability one is assured of happiness.
Happiness is defined by him as the life of activity in
accordance with moral virtues.
In his view virtue is a state from which deeds should
flow forth. People teach themsel ves to act correctly by
practicing and in the end they become virtuous as a
result of the ability to repeat good deeds.
Everyone has, according to Aristotle, a natural capacity
for virtue which could be developed by forming the right
habi ts. Through education and habituation we come to
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understand our actions as right and we are able to make
choices. Each time man chooses correctly by means of his
insight to follow the middle course, it becomes easier
for him to distinguish what is good the next time he has
to do so.
Marx
Marx's ethics is also the ethics of the good. According
to him truth and goodness are associated with the
struggle for freedom. 80th Marx and Hegel maintain that
human freedom is not individual, but the acti vity of a
self-realising whole, that truth and goodness can be
known only from within the struggle. It follows that in
Marx's view ethics or morality has a clearly defined
subordinate role to play in the promotion of social
revolution and the construction of a socialist society.
Marx's approach gave rise to communist ethics.
Communist ethics is not independent, but is subordinate
to the revolutionary struggle. It rejects with
condemnation the capitalist and feudal social orders as
based on exploitation and justifies all steps to bring
about their destruction and replacement by a socialist
society. West (1967:62) describes morality as follows:
Morality is discipline and inner commitment in
this struggle. Good and right actions are
those which promote this end. Otherwise stated
ethics and morality belong to the
superstructure not to the basis of society.
To sum up: Communist ethics depend for their content on
the progress the working classes have made towards
socialism.
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Marx's fame rests on the effort he made to discover and
formulate the laws that govern the behaviour of men in
society and on the creation of a movement which would
change the lives of men in conformity to these laws
(Urmson , 1975: 176) . In many respects his social
criticism is still valid. His economic ideology was a
complete failure though.
Pragmatism
Pragmatists hold that the mind has a very important role
in people's lives. It is the tool of the organism to
guide action. The function of the mind is to redirect
activities by an anticipation of their consequences
(Handy, 1986:493).
Pragmatism does not concern itself with principles or
values. The question which it seeks to answer in any
situation is "Does it work?" Pierce cited by Handy
(1~g6:492) makes the following contribution which
supports the notion that pragmatism does not concern
itself with principles or values:
Different beliefs are to be distinguished by
the different modes of action to which they
give rise. To develop a thought's meaning,
then we need only to determine what conduct it
is fitted to produce; to attain clearness in
our thoughts of an objett, we need to consider
what practical effects the object may involve.
A good example of this approach (excluding Christian and
Humanist principles) is the way abortion is handled
worldwide. One can at least say that it does
something(!) about the problem of deaths related to
backstreet abortions.
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Utilitarianism
Utili tarianism also contains the question of the good.
According to this doctrine acts are to be judged in the
light of their consequences. An act is good for
instance, if it promotes happiness. What is
characteristic of utilitarianism is promoting happiness
for the biggest number of people. No single decision
will ever make all people happy. It is therefore
realistic to maximise happiness as far as possible.
Both, Mill and Bentham applied scientific methods into
the discussions of moral questions. The fundamental
principles of Mill's ethics are:
(a) That pleasure alone is good or desirable in itself.
He states this principle as follows:
Happiness is desirable, and the only thing
desirable, as an end; all other things being
desirable as means to that end.
Cited by Urmson 1976:194
According to Mill there is a close link between being
good and being desired. To desire a thing, according to
Mill, is to think of it as pleasant and to hold that it
brings or would bring pleasure.
(b) That actions are right in proportion as they tend to
promote the happiness of all concerned, wrong as they
tend to promote unhappiness; and happiness means
pleasure and the absence of pain.
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Bentham also holds that there is a close relation between
being good and being desired. According to him what
moves a man to action is always a desire to secure his
own pleasure or to avoid his own pain.
Situation ethics
Unlike casuistry, a kind of ethics that tries to apply a
standard for every possible situation, Situation ethics
stresses the fact that the relevant norm arises from the
situation and that no universally valid law for a
specific situation is possible. According to Joseph
Fletcher there is room for only one universally valid
law, the law of love. This enables him to justify
adultery in the name of love. (For example a woman
working in the secret service for the sake of
patriotism. )
Fletcher (1966:30) maintains that:
Christian situation ethics has only one norm or
principle or law (...) that is binding and
unexceptionable always good and right regardless
of the circumstances. That is 'love' the
agapé of the summary commandment to love God and
the neighbor. Everything else without
exception, all laws and rules and principles and
ideals and norms are only contingent, only valid
if they happen to serve love in any situation.
Existentialism: Sartre
According to Sartre, existence precedes essence, that is,
people first of all exist, confront themselves, emerge in
the world and define themselves afterwards. Unlike the
pragmatists who hold that ethics provides standards of
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conduct, Sartre' s is an ethics of strict accountability
based upon responsibility. People are what they make of
themselves. Each one makes his own choice, takes his own
decisions without any authori tative guide. He finally
stresses that when people choose, they choose not only
for themsel ves but for all people. But, in essence,
existentialist ethics is basically individualist and
relativist.
5.2 My personal view of the scope of ethics
As indicated earlier, ethics has the duty to describe the
relevant ethical norm for a specific situation. This is
achieved by analyzing human problems from an ethical
perspecti ve something which the Greek philosophers and
the 19th century ethicists never adopted in their search
for truth.
As the twentieth century draws to an end man is faced
with many problems which need immediate attention.
Problems such as AIDS and abortion. In my opinion,
ethics, along with the other sciences, should concern
itself with these problems. The psychologist will, for
instance, concentrate on psychological effects of
abortion and AIDS, while the social worker will analyze
the effect of abortion and AIDS on society. The
Government will be concerned with regulating abortion by
law. But moral philosophy chooses for an ethical
perspective. This is its unique contribution.
Nucleus of meaning
In the following paragraphs I wish to discuss the views
held by various authors on the question of the nucleus of
meaning of the ethical
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Since the deepest religious fullness of meaning of the
ethical can only be approached as an idea, not as a
concept, our starting point will be the intuitive insight
into the nucleus of the ethical as a modality of
creation.
How can nuclei of meaning be defined? According to
Dooyeweerd nuclei of meaning cannot be defined.
Dooyeweerd (1955:129, cf 478, 480) has this to say:
It is the very nature of the modal nucleus that
it cannot be defined, because every
circumscription of its meaning must appeal to
this central moment of the aspect-structure
concerned. The modal meaning-kernel itself can
be grasped only in an immediate intuition and
never apart from its structural context of
analogies.
By intuition is understood a certain basic ability of the
human normative personality structure which makes an
immediately probing insight possible. Intui tion as an
essence-probing ability cannot be isolated theoretically
because of its continuous temporal character. Intuition
differs from one person to another, it is completely
fallible, like every expression of the human heart it is
religiously determined (Smit 1985:15).
Various attempts have been made within the cadre of the
Christian reformed thought to pin down the nucleus of
meaning of the ethical. Two views have been put forward
on this issue: One which centres around the formulation
of 'troth' (fidelity) and the other which centres around
'love' .
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Talj aard, Vollenhoven and Popma find the essence of the
ethical in "troth in marriage and friendship" (Taljaard
1956:323ff: Vollenhoven 19672: Popma 1956:17). Olthuis
shares this view, but he maintains that
'troth' suffices because the formulation in marriage and
friendship is too concrete to serve as an indication of
the ethical aspect. He says:
Provisionally, partly because of terminological
considerations, partly because love is often
reduced to a feeling and partly because love is
generally confined to marriage and the family,
it seems to this writer preferable to describe
the kernel moment as troth or 'fidelity'.
There are philosophers who emphasise the love-moment. In
their views three things come to the fore: the central
posi tion of the human personali ty, the relationship, in
which the ethical comes to the fore and the need to
express both the normative and the antinormative moments
in the formulation of the nucleus of meaning (Smit
1985: 16) .
Stoker, one of these philosophers, initially referred to
the nucleus of meaning as "persoonlikheidsliefde" but
later replaced it with "persoonsliefde" because the human
being as such is a person. Since "persoonlikheidsliefde"
only pertains to the ethically good Stoker decided on
"persoonsbehartiging" influenced by P.G.W. du Plessis'
thesis. He explains that (translated freely):
"Persoonsbehartiging" is the ethical as such,
that is, the ethical in principle of which the
ethically good and ·the ethically bad form a
part, the ethical from which man can never free
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himself, which he cannot escape (Stoker 1967:249
Footnote 35:251).
Stoker explains further that the ethical is revealed to
us as the relationship of 'heart to heart', where one
person takes care of another from the ·centre of his
heart.
Degenaar (1976:38) makes the following contribution on
the issue of morality (translated freely) :
Morality is the characteristic of man that he
respects himself as a person and the moment that
he does so, the personality character of all
human beings is implied. Morality means to
discover my own personal character and that of
others.
In his discussion of the typifications of love in
temporal relationships, person love and fidelity in
marriage, Du Plessis emphasizes that (translated):
We are careful not to pass off an ethical norm
as an ethical principle. It would then appear
that 'love' in 'temporal rela tionships' ,
'persoonlikheidsliefde' and 'fidelity in love
and friendship' are rather norms which contain
elements of the anti-~thical. Opposite loVe one
finds hat~ and opposite fidelity one finds
infideli ty. It is therefore more probable that
'love' and 'fidelity' are figures which are
positivised in specific-ethical norms. The
ethical life too is richly variegated (Du
Plessis 1965:199).
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Strauss responded as follows to the question of the
validity of the nucleus meaning:
If the meaning nucleus is structurally valid no action
can escape the still applicable structure merely because
it is antinormati ve. Therefore un-ethical actions are
still not a-ethical the viewpoint that nuclei of
meaning appeal to universally valid structures which
conform to scientific laws right from the start provides
for the idea that "both the ethical good and the un-
ethical can only exist in terms of the structure of the
ethical aspect (Strauss 1969:81, cited by Smit 1985:17).
Illogical argumentation can only take place within the
logical modality of meaning. The invalidity of an
argument only applies in terms of the law of the logical,
in fact the ethical only has meaning as a creaturely way
of being under the law which was fulfilled by Christ.
Even the apostat~ meaning is related (negatively) to
Christ (Smit 1985:17).
Regarding Stoker's argument it is clear that
"persoonsbehartiging" is explained satisfactorily but at
the same time it loses its grasp on the ethical. Like
the question concerning 'oughtness', the issue of care or
"behartiging" is undifferentiated. A person can care for
his neighbour in any conceivable normatively qualified
manner. The same applies with regard to personality
respect (which in fact can be totally loveless) (Smit
1985:17) .
In A new critique of theoretical thought I Dooyeweerd
(1953:48/9) provides a provisional delimi tation of the
moral aspect:
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That moral aspect of temporal reality is
characterized as that of temporal relationships
of love as differentiated more precisely by the
typical structures of temporal society as
conjugal love, love of parents and children,
love of country, social love of one's fellow-man
and so on.
In A new critique of theoretical thought II Dooyeweerd
(1955:152) in his modality theory emphasizes the
sovereignty of the ethical in its own sphere:
Every serious attempt at an analysis of the
modal meaning - structure of the moral relation
leads us back to love as its irreducible kernel.
There can be no single really moral 'virtue'
which in the last analysis is not a
manifestation of this modal nucleus of the
ethical law-sphere.
In this formulation mention is still made of "love in
temporal relationships", but it' clearly pinpoints the
nucleus of meaning (meaning kernel) as love. Dooyeweerd
also emphasized very strongly the difference between
modal love and the central religious love demanded by the
commandment. Modal love is merely a single temporal
split of meaning of God's religious law for the cosmos.
In his Biblically justifiable view of the ethical
J.A. Heyns proceeds from the central love commandment
which exposes the vertical and horizontal dimensions in
the actions of human beings. On the basis of the demand
of love of one's neighbour Heyns draws the conclusion
that the personhood of human beings must be awarded a
central position.
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Man occupies a unique place in the cosmos. All actions
which affect this exceptional position of man in the
cosmos are ethical actions, i.e. those actions which
affect his status, function, vocation, distinction (Heyns
in Potgieter 1979:1).
Heyns is justified in deducing from the central law of
love that the human person as sole ethical subject
occupies a central place. But Heyns concludes that:
All actions which therefore affect the person of
a human being in one way or another, whether
directly or indirectly, explicitly or implicitly
in positive or negative sense, are ethical
actions. The question as to good or evil with
regard to the person of a human being - that is
the ethical question (Heyns in Potgieter 1979:2,
cf 3, 8, 12: freely translated).
The cosmological foundation of his essays however
precludes such a conclusion. Heyns relativises his
remark himself by declaring that the ethical is but a
single aspect of human existence. He mentions that not
all human acts are ethical acts. Heyns is also aware of
the particularity and universali ty of the ethical (Smit
1985:18).
His choice in th~ end is "persoonsbehandeling", that is,
treating another as a person.
Heyns and Stoker hold a unique view regarding love
towards the non-human world. Overcropping, cruel ty to
animals and damage to the milieu are ethically bad, not
because such acts imply a lack of love for nature, but
rather a lack of love for the self as a person. Only via
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the medium of the human person do acts become ethical or
unethical.
To repeat: the objection which can be raised against
this argument is that the ethical can certainly not be
restricted to subj ect-subj ect relationships but subj ect-
object relationships can also be of ethical nature.
Smit (1985: 19) makes the following comments in relation
to the above principles to which I fully subscribe:
• "Persoonsbehandeling" like "persoonsbehartiging",
includes all normative actions and cannot be ethical
solely on the basis of the central love commandment.
Fairness towards one's neighbour is certainly also
person treatment (juridically positive.)
• In his expansion Heyns argues in very much the same
vein as Stoker in his cosmology and anthropology.
If one takes the ethical as modality of the
normative person of man into account, it excludes
the view of the ethical as exclusively personal
treatment. Even the principle of uni versali ty in
own sphere, cannot justify personal treatment as
principle of the ethical.
• From a cosmological perspective "persoonsliefde"
(personal love) is too narrow to serve as norm for
the ethical. It excludes love for the land,
landscape and animals. Scripture also contains
statements regarding the treatment of animals. That
only the human person can be an ethical subject and
that only he can distinguish object functions in
natural and cultural objects is certain. But in my
opinion any attempt to deny the objective love
appeal of objects smacks of personalism. This does
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not in the least detract from the anthropo-centrism
of the cosmos.
• The distinction between religious and modal love
could probably have obviated the misunderstanding
between us and Heyns. Religious love of the
neighbour means a universal , posi tive personal
treatment (or "persoonbehartiging") . Modal-
ethically love as creational principle finds its
essential characteristic in love -especially of the
person but also of the objeci.
It would be possible to work out an excellent ethics as a
special science on the basis of the nuclear meaning of
love. And precisely with regard to ethics scripture
offers so many perspectives which must be taken into
account - more than in the case of any other discipline.
It is rich in examples of moral personal management
Persoonsbehartiging), of troth (fidelity) in love, of
loving service ë of love in temporal relationships
determined and enriched by eternal relationships.
Ethics should also concern itself with the quality and
scope of love. It concerns love in marriage, family and
friendship and love which qualifies professions like
nursing, medical practice and social work (Uys and Smit,
1987: 10) . In analyzing the task of ethics we have to
distinguish between principles, norms and values.
Principles are God-given possibilities, norms and values
are subjective human actions. Man applies norms for his
behaviour following the possibilities of creational
principles. Uys and Smit (1987:10) define norms and
values as follows:
(a) Norms are human standards to judge behaviour and to
assess the quality of social structures to see if
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they obey the specific principles or laws applying
to them.
(b) Values are those ideals to which man aspires like
happiness, health, freedom, culture, etc. and which
can only be attained indirectly by obeying norms.
In Christian moral philosophy we try not to use a term
like values because it is used within the humanist
paradigm. We prefer to use creational ordinances (or
principles) in the extension of which we positivise
norms.
Two things are of special importance for an understanding
of Christian ethics, namely:
(a) that Christian ethics confirms the norms of love in
every situation;
(b) that according to Christian ethics no situation is
norm-neutral.
Thus to discuss abortion ethically means to evaluate the
situation and to see how love is shown or not shown in
the situation. In case of abortion love is manifested by
the concern Christians show towards the mother and the
baby she carries.
Christian ethics has to provide for compromise as well .
A broken reality (because of the fall) often confront
people with a choice between two evils where a choice for
the lesser evil is the only option. This can, for
example, be illustrated by referring to the issue of
abortion:
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The Christian does not glory in suffering. It
is senseless for a mother to carry a baby with
a serious genetic deviation for nine
months, just to see it die a few days or weeks
later. This suffering can be prevented by a
timely abortion. Abortion is thus permitted to
prevent senseless suffering for the parent and
the baby (Uys and Smit 1987:25).
UBUNTU
So far I have referred only to Western philosophical
interpretations of ethics. This leaves us with an
incomplete picture. Ethics must be contextualised and
our context is Africa. I therefore want to treat ubuntu
as a typically African ethics and try to determine its
relevance for my topic: a family ethics for Africa.
Many views have been expressed on ubuntu and many
articles have been written but none has so far applied
ubuntu to the areas of marriage and family .
.How can the concept Ubuntu be defined? Mbigi and Maree
(1995:1) define the concept Ubuntu as follows:
Ubuntu is a metaphor that describes the
significance of group solidarity on survival
issues, that is so central to the survival of
African communities, who as a result of the
poverty and deprivation have to survive through
brotherly group care and not individual self-
reliance. ...It is a concept of brotherhood and
collective unity for survival among the poor in
every society.
Boon (1996:31) defines ubuntu as:
-134-
The heritage of philosophy that comes to us
through our traditional African roots. Ubuntu
is: morality, humanness, compassion, care,
understanding and empathy. It is one of
sharing and hospitality, of honesty and
humanity.
5.3 The positive contribution of ubuntu
Life is a relationship and ubuntu describes all of this
life: the life as it is lived by an individual, the life
which is spent in the nuclear family, in the extended
family, in the clan, the nation and in the life lived
with the divine.
Ubuntu is the sum of the rules and attitudes given by the
ancestors to humans. The common family unit in Africa is
an extended family which, as we have seen, includes
grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Despi te the changes
which are bound to come about due to the shifting of
responsibili ties from the family to various socializing
agents, the extended family still functions strongly in
the urban environment in terms of co-residence of two or
more nuclear families. The spirit of Ubuntu prevails in
this unit. Extended families offer financial assistance
to migrants in towns. Aunts, brothers and sisters
survive through this spirit of brotherhood and collective
unity.
Shutte (1994:157) has this to say about the extended
family and the spirit of ubuntu:
The traditional African idea of extended family
as something that includes far more than parents
and children is perhaps the most common and most
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powerful institutional protection of the value
of ubuntu.
Ubuntu is an inclusive way of looking at life. Everyone,
and even concrete inanimate things are seen as belonging
together. There is indeed a blessing involved in being
kind to the lame, the crippled and the mentally ill. In
ubuntu there is no need for orphanages since orphans are
cared for by other families. There is also no need for
old age homes since grandmothers and grandfathers are
highly valued in the home. The entire communi ty and
nature are bonded together by a sense of belonging and a
sense of love and being cared for. In short ubuntu
encourages a caring outlook.
Ubuntu is not practised in a cold and abstract way. On a
day-to-day basis ubuntu means both lending and giving to
ensure that nobody goes hungry when somebody has food.
When any individual experiences any kind of material or
emotional difficulty, the community responds with
material and emotional support. It takes the form of
providing advice, friendship, companionship as well as
emotional support. Ne i qhbour s feel free to enter each
other's homes to clean the house and see to the needs of
children when a mother is sick (Waring 1986:14, cited by
Metembo (1997:18).
Mbongwe (1989:166-167) cited by Metembo (1997:19)
provides the following examples of the practical
manifestation of ubuntu amongst Zulus:
People help one another and show sympathy.
A person with many cattle would share a few cattle
with the one who has none so that the latter can
enjoy milk from cows under his care.
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A visitor whether known or unknown is well received,
is given water to wash his feet, food to eat and a
place to sleep.
A neighbour would care for his neighbour's cattle so
that they would not destroy the latter's crop - this
spiri t of caring is extended to include all
properties or belongings of one's neighbour.
according to Zulu custom an adult person intervenes
positively when he/she is convinced a neighbour's
child is doing the wrong thing.
To care for the aged is considered as an act of
humaneness according to Zulu customs.
When somebody realizes that a neighbour is
experiencing difficulties, assistance will be given
especially when that person is in a position to give
such assistance.
When a person is hurt he will be nursed and
arrangement will be made speedily to see a doctor or
reach a hospital.
Care is taken of the poor, deprived, the disabled
and the widowed.
Clothing and gifts are distributed to the needy.
(Cited by Metembo 1997:19)
Ubuntu can also be called a participatory humanism. Each
person is seen as being experienced through his
relationship with others and theirs with him. This, in
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turn, recognizes and establishes their own humanity. An
African saying is: Umuntu Ngumuntu ngabantu (Zulu),
Motho ke motho ka batho (Sesotho) which means: people
are made people through other people or: we find our
identity in community. As Mary Joseph (a Franciscan nun)
in a private interview rightly stressed in our
discussion:
People experience their own worth and the worth
of others by participating in the communi ty.
Participation binds people together and brings
life.
Taking part in community activities ensures one's
physical and spiritual survival. Apart from this, one's
physical safety and well-being is assured. Being
included in a group is the source of man's mental well-
being. People engage in consoling conversations for
instance, which are the cement of any society. In
various gatherings people tell stories about the past and
give advice on the present. Everyone comes away from
these gatherings restored and renewed.
Ubuntu does not exist therefore, unless there is
interaction between people in a communi ty. Boon
(1996:32) has this to say about ubuntu:
It manifests itself through the actions of
people, through truly good things that people
unthinkingly do for each other and for the
communi ty. One's humani ty can therefore only
be defined through interaction with others.
According to Mbiti compassion and care are elements of
ubuntu. As indicated above, Boon and other thinkers
believe that ubuntu can be defined through compassionate
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interaction with others. One looks in vain for these
elements in many African homes. An African man, as we
have said, shows no compassion for his wife who,
according to Drum Magazine, is expected to be a mother,
lover, cook, waitress, cleaner, nurse, and scores of
other things too! All these she has to do when she
arrives home from work (Drum, 31 October 1996:24).
I have also referred to the fact that children are denied
the company of their fathers. Lacking compassion and
love for his family, can African men be said to have
ubuntu? These considerations led Ndale to write in the
African paper Post of 2 May 1965 that:
Men are still bogged down in the tribal notion
that taking little Enoch out for a walk is none
of their business. The idea of sharing
everything in marriage and children our
African husbands just don't accept ... maybe if
our husbands would move up a notch into modern
age and could be persuaded to take more
interest in their children, less of these would
leave home for delinquency; maybe if they paid
their wives a little more attention, there'd be
fewer lovers let in through the back door when
they're away.
Ubuntu sums up all the different aspects which make up a
person and it touches on the true self. Ubuntu helps us
to grow into simple, tolerant, kind and forgiving people.
Ubuntu makes us loving, open-minded people who will not
willingly hurt others.
Many writers use the word to describe a way of life and
make no mention of the personhood of each individual.
Articles, and at least one book that has already been
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published, are written on ubuntu in the context of
management. Here black empowerment and participatory
management are the key issues. The representation of
what business is about is often one-sided.
Ubuntu is introduced as a challenge to self-centred
individualism and a challenge to a communi ty that has
lost its compassion. This response is absolutely
justified, but generalisations do not lead to solutions.
African communities are held together by communal spirit
which encompasses elements such as supportiveness, co-
operation and solidarity. Khoza (1994:5) sums this up as
follows:
It is the basis of a social contract that stems
from, but transcends the narrow confines of the
nuclear family to the extended kinship network
- the community.
Mbigi is also of the opinion that communities are held
together by communal spirit. In his address to business
men in Port Elizabeth on ubuntu, he emphasized the
collective solidarity principle entrenched in the concept
of ubuntu. This, together with other ubuntu
characteristics such as unconditional love, openness and
co-operation, he says has the potential to lay a good
foundation for the South African nation (Mbigi 1995: 15,
cited by Metembo 1997:20).
Ubuntu also stresses co-operation and sharing instead of
dominance. In traditional African society materially
well-off persons and even people in authority, commanded
little or no respect if they had no ubuntu (Metembo
1997:20) .
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Examples of Ubuntu in action
In the townships in South Africa where housebreaking and
theft are common, "street vigilantes" are formed by
residents to curb such deeds. These committees also
assist members financially in times of need. As a result
the crime rate is reduced considerably in these areas.
In the rural areas women have to fend for their children
while their husbands are away at the mines. They have to
plough the fields. This, they can accomplish with the
help of their neighbours. In this way team-work
(Letsema) is done.
In whatever community they may be, be it urban or rural,
Africans know one another closely. They share what they
have with one another in times of difficulties. Writing
about the Kenyan elite Mbiti states this point
economically:
The parents of the Kenyan elite are rural
peasants who regard their elite children
(living in the cities) as interpreters of the
Western culture. Although the elite are in
enviable social and economic positions, the
same elite have brothers, sisters and cousins
in much less privileged positions. The
privileged elite I repatriate I a lot of. their
money to their rural homes so as to relieve
their parents and relatives of some of their
financial burdens (cited by Kimathi (1994:10).
The solidarity of the group which ubuntu advocates, is
also shown in mass action. Mass action has the value of
registering collective anger. Brewer (1990:430) makes
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the following observation in Critical Choices for South
Africa:
Black opposition to apartheid is expressed in
the rich indigenous poetry emerging from
literary groups in the townships, in sport,
religion, street daubing, in dance and song,
worker activism, schools and consumer boycotts.
It occurs in the urban townships and
increasingly in formerly conservative rural
areas.
In 1948 when the government proposed legislation that
would deprive Africans of their already limited
parliamentary representation, the English-speaking
churches reacted in an effort to prevent the legislation
from becoming law. The churches acted against the
injustice. The assembly of the Baptist Union condemned
any tampering with the accepted constitutional
understanding of the franchise rights of norr-Europe ans ,
In 1986 the pastoral letter of the South African Catholic
Bishop's Conference expressed "Christian hope in the
current crisis" in solidarity with blacks and condemned
injustice and the current conflict (A History of
Christianity in South Africa, Volume I, 270).
Collecti ve action, as Brewer rightly points out, should
be judged by whether it raises political consciousness or
solidarity and .lead to organisational forms of
opposi tion. The student uprising of 1976 in Soweto and
in the rest of our country, and the Black Consciousness
Movement which gave rise to SASO - a student organisation
under Steve Biko made a stronger impact on the
Government than any of the uprisings or movements before
them. Belarmino Mamjate, a post-graduate Theology
student at the Rand Afrikaans University said Biko's
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philosophy of Black consciousness had been a decisive
factor in the fight against apartheid (City Press, 15
September 1996, 17).
Recently Catholic Schools raised a strong objection
against subsidy cuts made by Mary Metcalfe. This is how
they made their voice heard:
We are committed to the same goals and
principles (as the ANC) but we're being pushed
into a situation where we must show solidarity
with other schools and march.
The goals and principles which schools such as the Sacred
Heart in Gauteng had in common with the ANC was that it
was "put at the service of the returning exile community
that was not prepared to send their kids to dysfunctional
DET schools".
Ubuntu among South African blacks led to a social
revolution in the country:
The political activity of the 1976-86 period
has been effecti ve in expanding the
constituency for change, in incorporating
formerly politically conservative sections,
especially in the rural areas, in encouraging
people to make political sacrifices, and in
facilitating the expansion of immediate
concerns into a more generalized challenge to
apartheid (Brewer 1990:430).
The spirit of collective unity played a significant role
in the social, political and economic transformation of
the South African society. The trade and mass democratic
movements ensured the end of apartheid through mass
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action and strikes that crippled the former minority
regime and forced them to the negotiation table. Through
the emancipating spirit of ubuntu, national liberation
and majority rule could be achieved (Mbigi and Maree
1995:8).
There would have been no affirmative action without
ubuntu. Affirmative action policies are designed to
afford disadvantaged groups access to jobs and resources
corresponding to their percentage of the total
population.
The result of consistent ubuntu was that various
restrictions disappeared. Segregation in sport and the
restriction of the use of Springbok colours are no more
enforced. Restaurants, hotels, cinemas, theaters,
suburban trains, beaches, parks and libraries have been
desegregated. Universi ties are now open. Such racial
labels as black, white, coloured are no longer used to
include or exclude people.
Despite all these good efforts problems are still there:
There are endless problems in schools and universities
associated with non-payment of f ees :by black students.
Problems caused by racial tensions particularly during
strike-actions in universities. There are also endless
problems in factories, mines and the public sector in the
name of solidarity but for wrong causes.
There are problems in families as well where one finds
one member of a household working with the rest doing
nothing productively in any way.
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Ubuntu, in various cases, protects the lazy person. It
stifles individual initiati ve and creates jealousy when
one member excels, or owns more.
African ubuntu is at times inclined to be exclusive.
This was evident in Lesotho where Asian and Indian people
are ever so often expelled or banned.
Reconstruction and Development Programme (ROP)
The spirit of ubuntu has made the introduction of the ROP
programmes possible. It is through the spirit of caring
that the basic needs of the people are being addressed.
Maree and Mbigi (1995:16) make an appeal to organisations
to help to restore, in the spirit of compassion and care,
the dignity of previously underpri viledged people which
had been emaciated by the indignity of apartheid.
ROP is intended· to meet the basic needs of the people.
Such needs as health care and housing. There is free
treatment for expectant women and for children up to the
age of six.
Ubuntu has a unifying character in our nation. It is
inclusive not only on state level, but also as far as
political parties are concerned ..
In the political sphere for the first time in 1994 South
Africans of all races went to t he polls to cast t he i r
votes. Government has now changed hands and for the
first time power is in the hands of the majority with Mr.
Mandela as the first head of the democratically elected
government of the Republic of South Africa.
Political parties which one would have thought will
remain exclusively black or white accommodate people of
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all races. The ANC has Blacks, Whites, . Indians and
Coloureds , all serving in the newly-elected government,
while the opposition parties such as the Nationalist
Party and the Democratic Party also have all races in
their ranks.
In this sphere ubuntu has definitely promoted the spirit
of goodwill and fellowship among the different races of
our country.
Sport
In sport South Africans of all races are now united in
their support of our teams. In the past blacks used to
support visiting teams and had nothing to do with our
local teams. There is much hope for improvement in
relationships between the recial groups. One can mention
here the rugbyfying of the country which we experienced
during the World Cup Series when Shosholoza exercised a
coup over the collective national anthems. Like
President Mandela we now speak of "our boys", "our
heroes" from the Olympic Games and so on.
Ujamaa as a synonymous interpretation of ubuntu
Ujamaa, like ubuntu, has to do with caring, forgiving,
sharing and sympathising with all those in need. As it
will become clear, Nyerere and his government saw to it
that this spirit was spread throughout his country.
In his book "Ujamaa" Nyerere makes a few references to
socialism from which emerges an individual conception of
the idea of uj amaa. It is not surprising therefore that
the socialism in which he believed owes little to Marxism
or to European democratic socialism. There are however
parallels between his theories of socialism and the
-146-
theories of other socialists but in each case these are
merely parallels and not derivatives.
The socialism which Nyerere advocates is an attitude of
mind. Thus, because of his disposition, a socialist
could be defined as one who cares for his fellow
countrymen while a socialist society could be defined as
a society inbred with the same spirit of ujamaa, or
'familyhood' . The term 'familyhood' is of central
importance if one considers the foundational role of the
extended family in Africa.
Nyerere presented his views as distinctive of the
traditional way of life which was gradually being
replaced by capitalism. He dismisses capitalists and
millionaires as users and exploiters of the abilities and
enterprise of other people. He questions the fact that
one man, however hardworking or clever he may be, can
acquire as great a 'reward' as a thousand of his fellows
can acquire between them. For this reason he condemns
acquisitiveness aimed at gaining power in very strong
terms:
Acquisitiveness for the purpose of gaining
power and prestige is unsocialistic. In an
acquisitive society wealth tends to corrupt
those who possess it. It tends to breed in
them a desire to live more comfortably than
their fellows, to dress better, and in every
way to outdo them. They begin to feel they
must climb as far above their neighbours as
they can. The visible contrast between their
own comfort and the comparative discomfort of
the rest of society becomes almost essential to
the enj oyment of their wealth, and this sets
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off the spiral of personal competition which is
then anti-social (Nyerere 1971:3).
This prompted Nyerere to make an earnest appeal to the
nation to carry on with the good practices of the past.
Referring to one of the achievements made in his day he
says:
One of the most socialistic achievements of our
society was the sense of security it gave to
its members and the universal hospitality on
which they could rely. But it is too often
forgotten, nowadays ... (Nyerere 1971: 5) .
This is the strongest characteristic of the societies in
Africa. The spirit of ubuntu in Southern Africa gives
the same sense of security to the people - the security
that comes of belonging to a widely extended family.
In traditional African societies no one was left out.
Africans regard all men as their brethren, as members of
their ever extending family. Nyerere sums up the
inclusive attitude of Africans as follows:
We, in Africa, have no need of being
'converted' to socialism than we have of being
'taught' democracy. Both are rooted in our own
past in the traditional society which
produced us. Modern African socialism can draw
from its traditional heritage the recognition
of 'society' as an extension of the basic
family unit For no true African socialist
can look at a line drawn on a map and say "The
people on this side of the line are my
brothers, but those who happen to live on the
other side of it can have no claim on one',
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every individual on this continent is his
brother (Nyerere 1971:12).
The spirit of ujamaa, of 'familyhood' permeates through
the spheres of the economy, labour and politics.
In connection with the economy Nyerere says that three
things are essential for the production of wealth a)
land, b) necessary materials for pr9duction, and c)
willingness to work.
In Africa land was recognised as belonging to the
community. Each one in the community had a right to the
use of the land but could not claim it as his own. The
foreigners introduced the concept of land as a marketable
commodity.
He condemns capitalism for exploiting others by using
land. The true socialist, according to Nyerere, will not
exploi t his fellow. The right to private property which
we acknowledge has no place in his philosophy.
In the past people were individuals within a communi ty.
They took care of the communi ty and the communi ty took
care of them. In short traditional Africans were
dominated by the spirit of caring.
The spirit of ujamaa in labour prevents exploitation.
Everybody must work and live on his own labour. On this
issue, Nyerere (1971:34) states that:
In our country work should be something to be
proud of, and laziness, drunkenness and
idleness should be things to be ashamed of
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For a people to be able to distribute the national wealth
fairly, it is necessary that everybody works to the
maximum of his ability. He does not realise that equal
opportunities do not mean equal outcomes, that it is
unfair not to reward the person who worked harder and is
more innovative. The ideological foundation of this
brand of African socialism is the idea of an all-powerful
and omnipresent state who owns all and distributes
making people state - dependent and robbing them of their
initiative which is why Nyerere's country is still where
it is demanding welfare from Western countries and
having problems with the World Bank for not showing
responsibility and progress.
It is inspiring when he says:
But most of all, we have to re-activate the
philosophy of co-operation in production and
sharing which was an essential part of
traditional African security (Nyerere
1971:103) .
At the stage of the hey day of anti-colonialism Nyerere
would get away with naive ideas but a modern world is far
more demanding.
With the exception of children and the infirm every
member of society has to contribute his fair share of
effort towards the production of wealth so as to counter
capi talism and loitering. The problem of course is the
distribution of wealth by the state. Corruption is rife
in all African countries - South Africa included.
People who work together not only come to know one
another but they also share one another's problems.
According to Nyerere, individuals in such a society do
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not have to worry about future financial problems.
Society itself will look after him; or his widow or his
orphan. This is exactly what traditional African society
succeeded in doing. Looking at Africa and its maladies,
we don't have much hope that ujamaa will save the pieces
though.
The purpose of trade unions was to ensure that the
workers receive a fair share of profits of their labour
(Nyerere 1971:19).
Some individuals for instance possess certain
qualifications and skills, which, for certain good
reasons, command a higher rate of salary than others. In
this particular instance Nyerere explains:
The true socialist will demand only that return
for his skilled work which he knows to be a
fair one in proportion to the wealth or poverty
of th~ whole society to which he belongs.
A true socialist will not attempt to blackmail the
communi ty by demanding a salary equal to that paid in
some far away society. Such a demand would, according to
Nyerere, be anti -socialistic. Since biblical times, the
proverb "The worker earns his keep" had good currency.
Unfortunately there was a fall of man and therefore greed
entered the scene - leading to that kind of capitalism
which beli~ves that only too much is erio~gh.
The spirit of ujamaa and education
Racial distinctions within education in Tanganyika have
been abolished. Complete integration of the separate
racial systems have been introduced and discrimination on
the grounds of religion was also brought to an end.
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The spirit of ujamaa has thus prompted officials in
education to show respect' for human dignity. The
education which was motivated by a desire to inculcate
the values of the colonial society and to train
individuals for the service of the colonial society was
done away with. The education provided by the government
of Tanzania is designed to prepare young people for the
service of their own country.
According to Nyerere the education which Tanzania should
provide for the students of the country must serve the
purpose of Tanzania. It must encourage the growth of the
socialist values Tanzanians are aspiring to. In the
words of Nyerere (1971:74):
It must encourage the development of a proud,
independent and free citizenry which relies
upon itself for its own development, and which
knows the advantages and the problems of co-
operation. It must ensure that the educated
know themselves to be an integral part of the
nation and recognize the responsibility to give
greater service the greater the opportunity
they have had.
The spirit of ujamaa and political aspirations of the
people
To be successful an ujamaa village must be governed by
the members themselves. In a village people are able to
discuss their problems together and make decisions
together for which they all feel equally responsible.
They must jointly make such decisions as: where to
plant, what to plant, how to share returns and what to
invest in future development.
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The communities have to obey the laws of the land, they
cannot be exempt from other national responsibilities.
But Nyerere (1971:182) states emphatically that:
The decisions about the way they run their farm
and their village the amount of private
farming and ownership they allow, etc. - must
be made by them, not by others.
Ujamaa and the question of equality
According to Nyerere (1971:38) the basis of socialism is
the unity of mankind and is common destiny. The basis of
Nyerere's socialism is therefore human equality.
Acceptance of this principle is absolutely fundamental to
socialism.
For socialism the basic purpose is the well-
being of the people and the basic assumption is
an acceptance of human equality. For socialism
there must be a belief that every individual
man and woman whatever colour, shape, race,
creed, religion or sex is an equal member of
society with equal rights in societies and
equal duties to it (Nyerere 1971:78).
It is also clear from the above that the purpose of
socialism is the service of man.
Despite this belief however women are still discriminated
against in Tanzania just as they were in traditional
African society.
The moral intention of Nyerere is above board but no
community in Africa will remain communalistic in the long
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run. Two fundamental ideologies of modern civilization
are sweeping over Africa, influencing every person and
community: individualism (with its egoism and moral
relativism) and capitalism (with its exploitative greed).
More than any other ideology these two determine the
duality of marriage and family life. Traditions are
overturned. New life patterns are developed. An African
renaissance therefore will have to be realistic to have
any impact on society.
How can we reconcile our theoretical analysis of the
ethical modality with the practical moral philosophy of
ubuntu/uj amaa? I think that the abstract way in which
the nuclear meaning of the ethical was formulated
("love") guarantees its heuristic value. In fact, all
the characteristics of ubuntu/ujamaa can be related to
love. What must be clear is that culture has an
influence on the positivization of ethical norms - the
difference between the primacy of the nuclear family vs.
the prominancy of the extended family being an
illustration of this.
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CHAPTER 6
SOCIAL ENGINEERING AND THE FAMILY IN AFRICA
I wish to dwell in this chapter on the issue of social
inequality which, in my opinion, rendered the creation of
human communi ties impossible, and which also made .life
unbearable for a large number of people in South Africa
and the rest of the continent.
A study of the Bill of Rights convinced me that
previously the majority of the people in South Africa had
no say in the running of the affairs of their country,
and were denied a host of other rights which the minority
group in the country enjoyed. Among the rights which
they were denied were the following: (1 ) the right to
equal treatment, (2 ) the right to have one's dignity
respected, (3) political rights, ( 4 ) the right to have
access to housing, (5) the right to heal th care, food,
water and social security, and (6 ) the right to basic
education.
1. According to the Bill of Rights: Everyone is equal
before the law and has the right to equal protection and
benefi t of the law. South African blacks were regarded
as foreigners. Thus they could not share equal rights
wi th the minority group. The clause which states that
"the state may not unfairly discriminate directly or
indirectly against anyone on one or more grounds,
including race, gender, sex, pregnancy, marital status,
ethnic or social origin, colour, social orientation, age,
language and birth' were completely overlooked in the
case of blacks.
2. The right to have one's dignity respected. All
human beings own an inalienable dignity, ultimately
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founded in the reflection of the image of God. Blacks in
this country were subjected to grossly inhuman treatment
under the apartheid regime. Pass laws restricted their
movement and made it impossible to stay with members of
their families living in other towns for more than three
days.
3 . Blacks were denied the right to vote. They had no
say in the affairs of the country.
4. As stated earlier blacks were regarded as foreigners
hence they could not own properties in South Africa. As
'contract workers' they had to go back to their homelands
when their contracts expired. Blacks were in this way
denied the right to have access to adequate housing.
5. In large parts of the country there were no clinics,
as a result infant mortality rate was high.
6. The use of Afrikaans as a medium of ihstruction was
unacceptable to blacks and so was the school curriculum.
These led to student uprisings of 1976.
As I see it, the most urgent task facing the people of
this nation is the restoration of human dignity. This
can be done by addressing destitution and child
mortali ty, joblessness and discrimination against women.
The restoration of a life with dignity for all is a task
for our communi ties of faith, our families, our schools
and business, but in our historical context it is in
particular a task for the state (Strauss 1995:157).
The struggle by blacks against the apartheid regime in
South Africa was aimed at bringing about a change in
social conditions by extending democracy beyond its
narrow racial base to all citizens. It was also a
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struggle against structural economic exploitation which
denied blacks the opportunity to adequately carry out
their family responsibilities.
Without a stake in the economy of the land and without
financial resources, many African men from the rural
areas throughout Africa are forced to take up contracts
in the mining industries ranging from six months to
twel ve months leaving their families behind. Some men
return home when their contracts expire while others
never do. These are known in Xhosa as 'amatshipha'.
Wilson and Ramphele (1989: 106) describe these conditions
as follows:
Lack of income is all the more serious because
of the large dependency burdens placed on the
limited numbers of money-earners. In many
cases migration on the part of the breadwinner,
whilst the rest of the family remains in the
rural homeland environment, is the only answer
to boosting household income. What is crucial
from the nutritional point of view is that
family cohesion and organisation is often
impaired as the family unit is broken up in the
effort to solicit more income. A casual
relationship appears to exist between family
disorganisation and increased incidence of
malnutrition in the household. Invariably it
is the young and aged who are mast seriously
affected by malnutrition The break-up of
family unit also spawns other social maladies
including the breakdown of family discipline
and promiscuity among young adults which
invariably leads to illegitimate pregnancies:
the resulting illegitimate, and often unwanted,
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children are the ones who become the
malnourished in a community.
Poor nutrition, hunger, sickness and death
According to Wilson and Ramphele (1989:100-101, 106-112,
174-177) South Africa is one of the few countries in the
world which exports food in considerable quantities while
there is widespread hunger and malnutrition particularly
among children. Diseases associated with malnutrition
are the major cause of death among these children.
Thousands die of malnutrition while millions grow up
stunted for lack of sufficient calories. Commenting on
these conditions and on a number of social imbalances,
Wilson and Ramphele (1989:4) have this to say:
Tens of thousands of men are spending their
entire working years as lonely 'labour units'
in single-sex hostels whilst their wives and
children live generally in great poverty in the
overcrowded reserves. This structural violence
assaults the majority of people living in South
Africa as harshly as any physical
confrontation.
The government is presently running a feeding scheme in
black schools as a measure to combat undernourishment.
Ithuba and Zama-Zama are contributing large sums of money
towards charity. The real solution would be the creation
of jobs to accommodate the large number of people who are
presently unemployed.
Who among the poor are vulnerable?
Wilson and Ramphele (1989:172) think that:
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people residing in the rural areas in South
Africa are especially vulnerable because of the
interrelatedness of forces that lock them in a
cycle of poverty.
The plight of these people can be traced to the following
factors:
1. The wealth of this country which has been
accumulated at the expense of rural areas in terms
of both human and other resouces.
2. The discrimination which favours urban areas in the
allocation of resources, be they health, education,
social and recreation facilities or manpower.
Unless these resources are made equally available to
all people be they in the urban or rural areas, the
standard of living particularly in the rural areas
will never be improved.
Categories of people vulnerable to poverty in Southern
Africa
There are four major groups which are vulnerable to
poverty: children, women, elderly persons, and adults
who are handicapped.
Regarding the black children of our society, the first
thing that strikes us is the tnortality rate of those
below the age of 12 years. This is very high. With
intelligent intervention this rate can be reduced
substantially and rapidly. The major factor in high
infant mortality rate Wilson and Ramphele (1989:174)
maintain, is the practice of feeding children powdered
milk (often in insufficient quantities using contaminated
water) rather than breast-feeding. Breast-feeding should
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be recommended. According to the 1986-study of the
nutritional status of children in selected areas of
Namibia found that most babies were breast-fed up to six
months. Despite poverty they were usually better fed and
suffered less malnutrition as compared to those who were
older.
Among women four groups are likely to experience grave
difficulties. These are widows, divorcees, the wives of
migrants and other single-mothers. Widowhood, for a
middle-aged woman who depended much on a regular
remi t tance from her husband comes as a severe blow. The
story of a Transkei widow (46: 16) quoted by Wilson and
Ramphele (1989: 170) is a good example of the plight of
these women. She relates her plight as follows:
I am now experiencing difficulties in
supporting my two children. I haven't got a
field although I have a kraal I only
depend on my mother's pension money which she
gets from the government. We share the money
because she has her own house and I am staying
at my house. If I could get work, the first
thing that I would try would be to look for a
field even before building a decent house.
Livestock would then follow later. All that
would only be achieved when I was working. No
I am in complete darkness. I do not know what
can help me.
Widows are further crippled by the combination of the
migrant system, traditional laws and the sexism of both
black and white society. When a husband dies at the
mines for instance, her money comes through the
magistrate office and it can only be distributed to her
by one of her in-laws.
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According to traditional law to wind up the estate of the
husband, there has to be a male relative who becomes in
this case the effective custodian. Wilson and Ramphele
(1989:178) sum up the situation as follows:
Many widows are impoverished in that
process all in the name of tradition.
Moreover if a widow refuses to be the second
wife of her husband's brother he can refuse to
pass on the assets due to her; thus she is
held captive sexually.
Children of the poor widow are bound to suffer while
these wranglings go on.
The plight of divorcees
Divorcees and deserted women like widows experience a lot
of difficulties ~nd they may also find themselves
destitute since our society is structured in such a way
that women are forced to depend on their husbands
financially. Until recently the right to a house or
permission to be in the urban area could be forfeited by
or withdrawn from a woman who became divorced from her
husband. In a way men could do as they pleased with
their wives who were at their mercy.
Rural women were legally prohibited from seeking work in
the cities. Thus they depended entirely on the little
money that was sent to them by their husbands.
Female-headed families
The South African economy like economies of many other
countries, is biased in that it places well-paying jobs
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in the hands of men. This is why the degree of poverty
is noticably higher among female-headed households than
in homes headed by men. Logically in one case there are
two people working whilst in the other there is only one
hence the difference in the degree of poverty. In South
Africa women are denied the opportunity of moving freely
in the market place to select jobs that appeal to them.
This, coupled with educational disadvantages, weigh
heavily upon them placing additional burdens which men do
not have to carry.
Up until the nineties women could not obtain jobs easily
because male employers considered them to be less
reliable than men since they may need leave when their
children are ill. Women are discriminated against in all
aspects of life. Wilson and Ramphele (1989:179)make the
following observation:
In the home as girls being brought up and
educated, in the allocation of resources at
school and institutions of higher learning, at
work, and in society in general, African rural
women are at the bottom of the economic pyramid
in this country because of the added problem of
paucity of resources and more rigid sexist
practices in these areas.
Work, joblessness and poverty
For most people work is the primary source of income. In
South Africa poverty could be ascribed to the fact that
the wages earned by employees are far too low to cover
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the basic needs for themselves and their dependants
(Wilson and Ramphele 1989:54-62, 84-85, 93).
In 1980 out of a total population of 28.8 million persons
roughly 9.6 million were economically active. Each of
the three maj or sectors: agriculture (including the then
homelands) , services (including government) and
manufacturing (including construction) employed
approximately 2 million people with commerce and mining
each employing 10 %. On average white employees earned
far more than black employees in 1980 as can be seen from
the following table:
Ariculture (regular farm 38 63 157 529
worker)
Mining and quarrying 172 318 439 1040
Central government 204 276 547 629
Manufacturing 224 261 302 956
(Measured in rands cf Wilson and Ramphele 1989:54)
The above comparison is striking when one consideres that
the minimum monthly wage was R180. There was a
noticeable increase in real earnings for black South
Africans in the above-mentioned sectors between 1970 and
1985. But in 1985 only one million black South Africans
earned more than the supplementary living level.
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Black domestic workers suffered a decline of 10 % in real
earnings from 1973-1980.
Remittances
In the rural areas particularly in the former homelands
as a result of the scarcity of jobs and low wages paid by
employers other sources of income assumed greater
importance. Remittance sent home by migrants working
away from home play a vital role under these
circumstances.
Through localised research (Wilson and Ramhpele 1989: 62-
65) it is abundantly clear that for households in most
parts of the then Bantustans access to regular cash
income is the single most important determinant of their
well-being. According to this research it was found that
rural households depend on remittance for as much as 71 %
of their income and on pensions for as much as 19 % and
the rest·· from local wages or home production. Rural
household expenditure on food alone can be as much as 55
% of net farming income (Wilson and Ramphele 1989: 62,
Strauss 1995:141).
Pensions
But pensions are much more important. According to
Wilson and Ramphele (1989:63) in the Transkei for
households who~e annual income in 1982 was R500 or less,
pensions constituted one fifth of income. In die Ciskei
in three settlement camps the primary source of income
for half the household was pension. Wilson and Ramphele
(1989:63) maintain that:
The importance of pensions can be seen for
example, in the fact that the average male
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constribution to the househois quadruples from
R265 to R960 per annum as men reach the
pensionable age of 65.
Old age pension became payable to white people in 1928
and disability grants in 1946. Blacks started receiving
pension in 1943. The amount received in 1981 was R162;
it now stands (in 1998) at R476 per month. It is from
this amount that grandchildren left in the care of their
grandparents by their unmarried mothers are maintained.
It is this amount which has to cover rentals and medical
expenses.
Housing
For the sake of family life something has to be done to
improve social conditions in South Africa where poverty
is sustained and reproduced by the infrastructure
deliberately shaped during the apartheid era. Housing
shortage and recreational facilities need immediate
attention. According to Wilson and Ramphele (1989:125)
on the Witwatersrand there was an estimated housing
shortage by mid 1970 of 90 000 houses. In Soweto alone
the estimated shortage in 1982 was 35 000 houses. One
survey estimates that there must be nearly 20 people for
each house. Where people are 'crammed' in one room like
this they lose respect for each other. Wilson and
Ramphele (1989: 125) sum up this unpleasant conditions as
follows:
The absence of privacy for married couples, the
need for space for children to play, the
impossibility of having visitors, are all part
of the pain, quite explicitly felt by those
enduring a dimension of poverty that is to be
found across the length and breadth of the
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country. The extent of overcrowding is
overwhelming particularly in the urban areas.
Recreational facilities
Human beings need time and amenities for recreation and
relaxation in order to maintain a heal thy lifestyle. For
blacks in metropolitan areas and in the platteland such
facilities are practically non-existent. As a result
alcoholism is becoming rife because alcohol consumption
offers the only form of relaxation for the young and old.
As David Dewar cited by Wilson and Ramphele (1989:133)
rightly explain:
Children grow up in environments which are
totally unscaled in terms of the human
activities which they must accomodate. Each
area, in terms of its feel and the
opportunities it offers; is the same as the
others. They are simply uni-functional
sleeping areas with little or no sense of
place. There is nowhere to escape the
privations of the overcrowded private
dwellings, save the scaleless streets or
windswept 'open spaces' which are, in reality,
simply unsightly and dangerous dumping grounds
for rubbish.
The need for proper housing and urban infrastructure is
acute (Wilson and Ramphele 1989:134).
State responsibility
The government has to be responsible for the maintainance
of individual rights. Apart from this, it has to balance
public rights, responsibilities, needs and just claims of
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interpersonal relationships. To fail to carry out these
duties would be to fail to establish a just public order
serving the wellbeing of all the citizens of the country.
Most important, the government should combat the
oppression and exploitation of one group by another.
It is the responsibility of every citizen to see to it
that none of the inhabitants is forced to beg for food
just because he is unemployed.
As Christians and responsible citizens:
We shall not be satisfied with the structure of
society until it offers all human beings an
existence worthy of man. Until then, the
structure must remain the object of our
criticism. But one should not seek salvation
in monetary help from the state. That is
always offensive to human feelings and also
weakens our national strength. The help that
the state must give is better legislation
[But] if no help is forthcoming from elsewhere
the state must help. We may let no one starve
from hunger as long as bread is moulding in so
many cupboards. And when the state invervenes
it must do so quickly and sufficiently (Kuyper
1991:94) cited by Strauss (1995:100).
The economy and ethics
The economic life that I would recommend is the one that
is directed along the way of prudence and thrift. One
which provides the goods and services needed by the
people in our stewardship of God's earth. This type of
economy is rooted in respect for human dignity and
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environmental integrity. Strauss (1995:101) sums up
economic practice as follows:
Economic practice conscious of its proper
foundation in formative power and destiny in
stewardly prudence and thrift is textured by
environmental care, meaningful work, economic
inclusion of the powerless, and the rejection
of greed.
Goudzwaard, cited by Strauss (1995:101) makes the
following contribution:
At its starting point stewardship economics
included rather than excluded people. It
replenishes rather than extracts. It
internalises and takes responsibility for its
effects rather than expelling them to other
sectors of society.
Doors should, therefore, be opened to people of all races
to participate in farming and various other industries.
Shares and trading licences should be made available to
all who can afford it.
By closing doors to some sections of the population and
by thwarting their efforts to rise citizens from these
sections will obviously be hostile to society and its
norms. This will lead to frustration which will be
expressed in withdrawal, excessive use of alcohol or
drugs or even in violence and all forms of abuse. When
this happens society itself will be to blame.
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Educational sphere
In the mid-fifties schools were divided along ethnic
lines. There were consequently separate schools for
Sothos, Tswanas, Zulus, Xhosas and Vendas. Universities
were also divided in this manner.
In the lower primary schools the medium of instruction
was the mother tongue while in the high schools and
universities the medium of instruction was English.
These separate facilities should be done away with since
they foster racial tensions. Children should be free to
attend schools and universities of their own choice.
Forcing a child to go to a school he or she does not like
would be just as bad as forcing a horse to the river - it
will not drink.
Welfare and health services and family life
Public welfare in South Africa emphasises social security
and social services to the aged, the disabled or
handicapped, children and their families and the
unemployed.
Non-contributing pension to the aged continues to be the
largest part of public welfare in South Africa. The
disabled are occasionally provided with direct services
such as sheltered workshops or residential services in
urban areas. These services are not common among· blacks
in the Free State.
Social security for families take the form of maintenance
grants to poor single-parent families, maternity benefits
through unemployment insurance and survivor's pensions
under the Workmen's Compensation Act.
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As far as health services is concerned, there is a marked
improvement in that doors are now open in what was
formerly whites-only hospitals. Coloureds and blacks are
now admitted to these hospitals.
The problem which still has to be addressed is that of
housing. A large number of blacks still live in squatter
settlements where there is no running water and proper
sanitation.
Migrant workers
Before 1990 wives of migrant workers could not join their
husbands in the cities due to lack of accommodation.
This often led to the breakup of a number of marriages,
with husbands and wives (as it very often happened) being
drawn into extra-marital relationships.
In the rest of the world Western Europe being an
example people who started as migrants workers
eventually brought their families to live in the cities
with them. Wives of migrant workers should also be
allowed to join their husbands. In my opinion this will
help to reduce the number of divorces and illegitimate
children.
In this chapter I wanted to give an indication of the
social problems we have to address in our country. The
impact on family life is quite radical and the need for
social engineering obvious. Family ethics is not only
about relationships within the family - it is influenced
by myriad social factors.
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CHAPTER 7
THE ROLE OF RELIGION IN SOCIAL RECONSTRUCTION
Religion plays a dominant role in Africa. The people of
our continent are deeply religious. Religion affords
them the power to persevere in the face of hardship. But
religion has a fundamental role in society by teaching
people social norms. We should therefore implement
religion in our effort to solve social problems.
When we examine the role of religion in social
reconstruction, it is necessary to ask several questions.
The following two questions will, in my opinion, suffice
for the purpose of this study:
(a) What forces does it release or contain?
(b) What is it functional to?
Before we can attempt to answer any of these questions it
is fitting that we first give a definition of religion.
Durkheim defines religion as follows:
A religion is a unified system of beliefs and
practices relative to sacred things that is to
say, things set apart, and forbidden - beliefs
and practices which unite into one single moral
community called a church, all those who adhere
to them.
Cited by Mercer (1957:268)
Dooyeweerd (1953:57) defines religion as:
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the innate impulse of human selfhood to direct
itself toward the true or toward a pretended
absolute Origin of all temporal diversi ty of
meaning, which it finds focus sed concentrically
in itself.
Not all thinkers share the views contained in these
definitions. There are a few schools of thought which
regard religion as incapable of effecting social changes.
According to these schools the only role which religion
can play is to help maintain the status quo. One school
of thought which is associated with Karl Marx maintains
that religion is an instrument of social contract and
that on its own religion has no formative power.
There are two other schools of thought which should also
be mentioned. According to the one, religion is decaying
and will soon disappear from the scene. Wilson (1971:11)
maintains that:
A number of Anthropologists have thought
that science would replace religion, that as
technical control increases religion would be
edged out altogether.
The other school maintains· that religion is not
disappearing but is becoming pri,vate and individual in
that people limit it more to their private lives.
According to this view religion is a facet of personal
life therefore it cannot give meaning to life anymore.
Dooyeweerd and many others hold a different view.
According to this group of thinkers, religion plays an
important role in social reconstruction. Dooyeweerd
(1953:57) maintains that religion is the driving force in
man's life. He stresses that:
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As the absolutely central sphere of human
existence, religion transcends all modal
aspects of temporal reality, the aspect of
faith included.
Smit (1996(a) :59) makes the following contribution in
support of the view that without religion there can be no
culture:
In the Egyptian culture the deepest driving
force for cultural development was the religion
of Re (or Ra) and the cult of the Pharaohs.
Those who eliminate religion from their
theorizing cannot hope to gain an understanding
of Egyptian art. Greek culture is founded on
nature-religion and the Olympic cult. The
Odyssey becomes meaningless without the
Olympian gods Without Christian religion,
there would have been no West European culture.
Even the culture of the communist bloc cannot
be understood in isolation of Christian
religion.
The role/functions of religions can be divided into
personal and social functions.
The· Bible has also. been responsible for bringing about
social changes in Africa. One of the unique teachings of
the Bible, especially the New Testament, is the worth and
dignity of the individual in the sight of God. According
to African tradition the individual counted in so far as
he was part and parcel of the group, outside of which he
lost his real worth. As discussed in the paragraph on
"ubuntu" no individual could therefore follow his natural
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bent beyond the group. Sithole (1959:53) sums this up as
follows:
All new schemes, new adventures, new thoughts,
and new outlooks on life were subject to the
approval or disapproval of the group The
individual, socially, spiritually, and
mentally, moved in shackles and this was
certainly not conducive to progress.
Individual initiative was crippled.
The African individual is gradually being delivered from
these fetters. As the shackles which crippled individual
initiative are being removed the individual is being
invested with a new status. Hence today we find
individuals venturing beyond the confines of the group
and, as it would be expected, the group now looks upon
the new individual as its real saviour. Sithole
(1959:53) concludes rightly that~
The Bible is redeeming the African individual
from the power of superstition, crushing
tradition, witchcraft, and other forces that do
not make for progress.
Personal functions
Religion provides unquestioned goals of life for its
adherents, and thereby provides, as Mercer (1957:275)
aptly puts it:
the material out of which people may build the
sense of purpose and security which results in
what may be called inner personal peace.
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Apart from this, religion provides an available measure
by which the individual can judge his personal goals and
actions. Mercer (1957:275) sums this up as follows:
By adjusting his behaviopr carefully to the
requirements of his religion or by somehow
rationalizing that he has done so, the
individual can "know" that he is right, and,
therefore, acquire a sense of the security
which comes from such knowledge.
Man has a conscience, thus he is called upon to make
choices and judgements continually, guided as Mercer
rightly states by the requirements of his religion.
All education can be regarded as focused on the
sharpening of the individual conscience. In fact
education primarily involves inculcating norms in
individuals.
Social functions
According to Mercer, religion may be functional to whole
societies, to communi ties or to such social groups as
church congregations. It reinforces the social cohesion
of its believers.
By providing people with an unlimited source of beliefs
about rewards and punishments for proper arid improper
behaviour, religion has a powerful and important social
control function. One example will suffice. The Church
of England opposed the courtship of Princess Margaret by
Captain Townsend. Its influence can still be noticed in
what happens around Prince Charles' affairs.
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Contrary to what the different schools hold, in Africa
religion plays an important role in men's lives since
even after the adoption of Western dualism the daily
lives of Africans is still permeated by their religion.
The whole nature of family life was influenced by
tradi tional religion long before the coming of foreign
religion. There was a common belief that biological life
is transmitted by God through the elders and ancestors.
God and ancestors laid down laws and taboos to ensure the
prosperity of society. In the family the responsibility
of seeing to it that these laws are obeyed, rests with
the father while in society, the responsibility rests
with the clan-leader, chief or king. Each of these key
figures was under a serious obligation to see that the
right order established by God and the ancestors is
carefully maintained and each was held accountable for
any disorder (Bujo, 1992:22) A chief who no longer
contributed to the welfare of his subjects was removed
from his office since:
In offending against the laws and customs and
experiences of the tribe he is despising the
ancestors and even God himself and consequently
suffocating the life of his people (Bujo,
1992:22) .
Father Tlhagale (1998:30) brings out quite vividly, the
role played by : ancestors in the lives and religion of
their descendants in his article "Ancestors, guardians of
the community". He stresses that:
While ancestors are not put before their
descendants as models of virtue, they do play a
pivotal role in the maintenance of moral fabric
of the kinship group. There is a price to be
paid for the guidance, protection and
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beneficience that come from the ancestors.
They in turn expect the living to uphold the
moral norms of the community, conduct their
affairs with integrity, observe taboos and
respect the customs of the clan. An
infringement of the laws and code of conduct is
believed to be an open invitation to misfortune
in the form of (personal) illness, poverty or
any other form of personal or family disorders
Both the living and the dead ancestors are
caught up in a network of obligations and
responsibility. Ancestors are generally the
senior members of the lineage. This entitles
them to respect and authority. When discipline
disintegrates or when the moral norms are
disregarded, the living invariably turn to the
ancestors for help. It is in this sense that
the ancestors still play a significant role in
the lives of their descendants.
So I have to repeat: in Africa, religion is deeply
rooted. Like Van der Walt and Bujo, I do not subscribe
to the view that religion is 'decaying' and that it will
soon 'disappear' from the scene. For instance, many
Africans who are Westernised still cling to the culture
of their ancestors. Van der Walt (1997:8) mentions,
rightly, that:
Few Black Africans will still wear traditional
clothes to-day - or go without clothes. Many
of those who wear Western clothes, however, may
still adhere to more or less the same worldview
as their ancestors. Westernisation has not
touched their essential being.
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On the different aspects of a culture, Van der Walt
(1997:9) brings out the role of religion vividly:
The religious aspect is the deepest core of any
culture. In one's religion one expresses one's
ultimate commitment to the true God who
revealed himself in creation and in the Bible,
or to something in creation which is
absolutised as divine.
There is a strong belief, especially among the Basotho
that ancestors - Badimo (i.e. those who live with God)
act as their mediators, hence the saying:
Hlabela Badimo e tshweu 0 tla thabisa Modimo
(If you slaughter a white goat for the
ancestors, you please God).
Changes have taken place. According to Mbiti:
Whenever Africans today show an interest in the
future, they owe it to Christianity and to
Western education modern developments have
altered the old categories: political and
social change and especially the introduction of
Western type of education and the experience of
political independence have inevitably widened
the modern Africari's vision (Cited by Bujo
(1992:28) .
The role of missionaries in evangelizing and educating
the African people cannot be over-emphasized.
Prior to the coming of the Christian church, Africa was
"grossly cursed" with illiteracy, and she still is, but
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to a lesser degree. But since the coming of missionaries
great strides have been made in the field of literacy.
It is estimated that 10-12 percent of the
African population can now read and write with
varying degrees of proficiency. African
literacy is definitely on the increase
There is everywhere in Africa an unprecedented
hunger for education and literature. Even the
uneducated African parents try to make sure
that their children get the opportuni ty they
themselves never had (Sithole, 1959:52).
The abovementioned examples prove beyond doubt that
religion has an important role to play in social
reconstruction. The church was involved in social
reconstruction through the ages. Even during the
apartheid era there were church leaders who strongly
opposed the Nationalist Government with its policy of
apartheid.
Contrary to Karl Marx's view that religion is an
instrument of social control with no formative power, and
also, contrary to the view that the only role the church
can play, is to help maintain the sta tus quo, one can
also quote the daily influence of churches in terms of
norms. The influence of the Roman Catholic Church on the
world community in its pronouncements on the value of
life .(its view on abortion~ euthanasia, war, medical
research, etc.) has a far-reaching influence. But all
churches, Sunday after Sunday, preach about the ethical,
juridical and social norms that should apply in people's
daily lives. A very good example of this influence is
the Zionist Church's work ethic.
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Religion continues to have a strong hold on the African
people. A study of the reaction of these people to
Christ's Sermon on the Mount will illustrate this point
best. Christ states among others, the following:
'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for
justice ...
Mandela could draw on the sense of justice of all blacks
strenthened by their biblical faith. Black people were
carried through ages of injustice by their faith.
The peace makers try to break down the barriers which
divide people, they set out to make others happy,
removing things which make others anxious, frustrated,
bitter. Chapman in Christian Living Today, Book II
makes the following contribution:
The person who works for reconciliation, acts
among men as God does (Chapman 1975:15).
Nelson Mandela, the President of the Republic of South
Africa, is trying by all means to bring about
reconciliation between the perpetrators of atrocious
crimes and their victims or their families despite the
suffering he experienced for twenty seven years on Robben
Island. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was set
up for this purpose. Charlotte Bauer states in the
Sunday Times that:
The terrible silence, thrown like a blanket over
apartheid's atrocities, is over. The brittle
bubble of the 'honeymoon' period is over.
Unspeakable acts are being spoken about, evil is
being exorcised, and it is not a comfortable
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experience for any South African (Charlotte
Bauer, 1996, Sunday Times, 22/9/1996).
As the Truth and Reconcilia tion Commission proceeds, one
gets the impression that those whose loved ones were
brutally murdered, are willing to forgive the
perpetrators of the crimes.
People being able to forgive because God taught them to
forgive (Matt. 6:14-15).
Many people in various countries are heeding Christ's
call to serve. Some have given up their high positions
to be able to serve God by caring and improving the lot
of the poor. A good example is the famous Albert
Schweitzer. Princess Diana used her position to work for
charity and chose to be the "Queen of people's hearts".
Mother Teresa who, for more than 50 years, gave up her
life for the poor will, like Princess Diana, be
remembered for many years to come. Instead of 'dying'
religion will continue to appeal to many people
throughout the ages.
Religion and worldview. Apostasy and stagnation of
culture
In his argument to prove that religion does indeed play
an active role. in man's life Dooyeweerd shows how light
emanating from ~ome form of belief, guides man to proper
understanding of things. Religion guarantees some
perspective on one's life. The light which guides a man
whose heart is open to God differs from the light which
guides a man who is alienated from God because their
faith or belief is not the same.
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According to Dooyeweerd the man whose heart is open to
God is guided by the light of word-relevation while a man
who is alienated from God is guided or might allow
himself to be guided by his reason.
Proper knowledge of God, Dooyeweerd (1955:307) further
explains, is not gained through the 'theologia naturalis'
of speculative philosophy but it. is knowledge which is
exclusively guided by faith in the Word of God. Through
this word alone the eyes of the mind are opened to the
universal revelation of God in created nature.
Dooyeweerd (1955:307) explains this process as follows:
In the Word-revelation God addresses the human
race in its religious root, and man has only to
listen faithfully. As this Word-revelation was
originally a revelation to a community, and not
to individuals, it addressee was not each
indi vidual believer apart, but mankind in
community with its first head Adam Only in
faithfully listening to the Divine Word is the
true meaning of God's revelation in created
nature revealed to man.
In the case of a man who is alienated from God the
function of faith is drawn away from the Divine Word.
According to Dooyeweerd (1955:308) by turning away from
God man sets himself on the path of doom:
God's revelation in the whole of created nature
and primarily in the heart of man, became man's
doom when he fell away from the Divine word-
Revelation. Where the heart closed itself and
turned away from God, the function of pistis
was closed to the light of God's word. As a
result faith began to manifest its transcendal
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direction in an apostate w~y, in the search for
an absolute firm ground in the creation itself.
The inevitable consequences were the idolatrous
absolutizing of meaning.
What Dooyeweerd is trying to put across here is that a
person who has turned away from God knows the certainty
of faith but in his case faith has no contact whatsoever
with Word-Revelation. Instead the certainty of his faith
is primarily linked to revelation in nature. According
to Dooyeweerd, in the two examples quoted above, the
light which both consider the proper guide in their
lives, is a matter of belief.· He thus concludes quite
rightly, that there can be no genuine faith no matter how
far away from truth it may have fallen, which is not
related to divine revelation for even apostate faith is
not purely arbitrary but subject to normative principles
of natural revelation (Dooyeweerd 1995:308).
Primitive people in exercising their faith, defy forces
of nature and clothe them in all kinds of fantasies.
They are also led by some form of belief. They believe
that the forces of nature regulate the whole biopsychic
foundation of their closed society, including life and
death, fertility and barrenness. Through ritual acts
they hope to ward off these deified forces of nature
(Kalsbeek 1975:134). Dooyeweerd (1955:316) maintains
that:
Here too the Divine Revelation in the created
nature primarily touches the heart of man's
existence. Being completely closed to the
Word-Revelation, this heart guides the function
of faith in its restrictive 'apostasy'.
-183-
According to him faith may be a closed state. This is
the case in totemism where members of a clan identify
themselves with totem animals, such as kangeroos,
elephants, etc.
At such a depth of apostasy from divine revelation, the
effects are far-reaching. Because the faith aspect is
still restricted it cannot fulfil the guiding functions
necessary for the opening of the preceding aspects.
Consequently for a people whose faith still has a closed
structure the cultural dimension and the remaining
normati ve aspects of society cannot be opened. Such a
society will remain static and undifferentiated (Kalsbeek
1975:134, Dooyeweerd 1955:317).
In Africa with all its problems massacres are becoming an
everyday experience. Numerous cases are being reported
in Rwanda, Angola, the Republic of Congo, Ethiopia,
Burundi and South Africa to name a few countries. With
the mounting lawlessness throughout the continent, we in
Africa need to find an urgent solution to save our
continent from bleeding to death. We need to open our
hearts and allow ourselves to be guided by the light of
the Word-Revelation in all we do. If we close our hearts
and allow ourselves to be guided by the gods of our own
creation, there will be no end to the maladies of Africa.
Our ubuntu or ujamaa must find a deeper foundation in the
revelation of God as ministered by His Holy Spiiit. Only
on this basis can we really reconstruct family life in
Africa according to God's creational ordinance.
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CONCLUSION
Having analysed the material relating to family life, I
now want to extract the relevant views needed to
construct an ethics for family life in Africa.
In the opening chapter I pointed out serious problems
which threaten to destroy the structures of marriage and
family and I also pointed out various courses of these
problems. Many African families lead unhappy lives.
Mutual love which lays a strong foundation for a happy
family life and parental friendship which draws children
closer to their parents are not found in these families.
Through lack of mutual love marriages end up on the rocks
while children who through neglect are denied the
opportuni ty to communicate their difficulties and their
frustrations with their parents, end up in the street.
Apart from these factors, relationships are also
threatened by discord, a spirit of domination,
infidelity, jealousy and conflicts.
Marriages and families can become happy institutions if
parents and children can heed God's norms which serve as
guidelines or directional pointers. To me the Christian
approach to our problems remains therefore, the only
approach which can provide solutions.
Attending to the issue of the Christian view of man in
chapter 2 I dealt with the structures and foundations of
marriage and family in detail. On the issue of the
family I pointed out that it is founded by blood ties and
is qualified by love. The points mentioned below were
treated fully:
-185-
The ultimate meaning of being human can only be uncovered
by God's revelation and His Word. This has to do with
the relationship in which the human person stands to God
and to his fellow human beings.
Man is free to make choices. The choices that are made
are decisions to obey or disobey God. No choices are
made outside the context of particular human
relationships.
God created man and woman as equals. Male chauvinism has
to be countered in all cultures. Man and woman form a
corporate whole known as humanity. We never live our
lives as isolated individuals. As social beings we form
part of many social structures. We take part in
community life via these life spheres.
To maintain good human relationships in any community be
it institutional, organizational or associational, the
structural principles which have been established as
normati ve structural laws for human society have to be
observed, and to ensure proper running of all
communities, authority and subordination are necessary.
Problems which we experience in our relationships can be
solved by heading God's ordinances which serve as
guidelines for responsible cultural activity.
Marriage succeeds when each partner is able to identify
himself with the well-being and concerns of the other.
The structural law of marriage depends on the correlation
between loving troth and sexual satisfaction.
In the case of the family the creational law has to do
with the loving troth between parents and children
founded in blood ties. It is a normative relationship
-186-
where decisions to concretise loving troth determines the
quali ty of being together. Both marriage and family are
very intimate relationships depending heavily on mutual
trust and love. Family life is always founded in
conjugal love. Family life can only be normal if this is
the case. In a family, parents should enthusiastically
work together to provide nurturing, guidance, discipline
and instruction for their children. The decline of moral
as well as educational standards in the country are often
caused by the hands-off attitude of the parents.
In chapter 3 I dealt with the social meaning of family.
To construct the ethics of family life for Africa it is
necessary to mention the manner in which traditional
African families were run and the part played by the
different socializing agents in the daily lives of the
people. Here I want to mention the changes that should
be made to improve their lives:
Children should be given the opportunity to learn to
express their feelings and to experience intimacy in
their families. This is the way to learn to do what is
expected of them. Apart from this, children should be
allowed also to learn by their mistakes, i.e. guided not
forced in an authoritarian way.
All factors that threaten family life should be
addressed. Here I am thinking of poverty; unemployment
and migratory labour. Migratory labour deprives children
of the company of their fathers and the wives that of
their husbands. The pain and suffering the children and
their mothers experience can be alleviated by local job
creation.
But housing also impacts on family life. Small homes and
lack of environmental space leaves little room for the
-187-
traditional lifestyle in an extended family. The
patterns of the support system on which the families
depended for such functions as childrninding and
housekeeping have been disrupted by this problem. The
state and the private sector should join hands to make
houses available for those in need. This will help to
stem the rising tide of street children, aids,
prostitution and sex abuse in general ..
Of course, the church has a special role in family life.
Apart from teaching Christians the norms for marriage and
family life the church has to attend to such occurrences
as divorce and polygamy in the spirit of Christ, by
treating every case sympathetically.
In chapter 4 mention is made of the rising black middie-
class with the concomitant replacement of the extended
families by nuclear families particularly in the urban
areas. With the introduction of nuclear families
childrninding has become a problem. In traditional
societies children were looked after also by grandparents
and aunts.
As far as children of school-age in the nuclear family is
concerned, parents are now able to detect their
children's weaknesses and are therefore able to give the
necessary guidance in time. In the nuclear set-up
parents can now enjoy the much+ne eded privacy. But the
training which the extended family provided in the past
is seemingly lost forever.
A closer look at the benefits and failures of the nuclear
and extended family highlights the following: In some
respects families in Africa follow traditional patterns
to their own detriment. Fathers hardly spend time with
their families. As a result proper communication and
-188-
sharing, two essential element.s in human relationships,
are lacking. Parents have to spend time with their
children and play with them to enable them to appreciate
what the adult world is like.
The extended family system has proved to be a better
system than the nuclear family system in various ways:
In the extended family system, family members assist one
another in times of need. The extended family shares in
the fortune (or the misfortune) of its members. Thus
children of poor parents are helped by relations to
acquire education.
In the extended family system education is offered by not
only parents. Children are looked after by grandparents,
aunts and uncles none turn to the street for help.
There were no street children in traditional societies as
a result, and orphanages were not necessary in these
societies.
Discipline was never neglected in the absence of father
and mother. Others simply took over as a matter of
course.
Becoming an orphan or being adopted has a totally
different dimension in the extended family. A child does
not feel rejected if brought up by other members of the
family.
On the other hand churches and schools should provide
training courses to match or surpass the training which
the children received under tribal control.
In general I must also point out the need of censuring
television programmes which are responsible for the
-189-
lowering of morals and the undermining of marital and
family values.
In the quest for restoring family life the enormous
problems of AIDS, abortion, divorce, etc. should be
addressed comprehensively. Not only societal structures
but also the sciences should attend to these. Ethics has
a very special contribution.
In chapter 5 I dealt with a short history of ethics with
the view to showing the importance of morali ty in our
lives. I also dealt with the question of ubuntu as well
as that of ujamaa. Both take the extended family as
point of departure. Ubuntu or ujamaa are both essential
in our construction of a family ethics for Africa.
Ubuntu and ujamaa are both about caring, sharing and
forgiving - all of which are absolutely essential in the
building up of healthy families and a healthy society.
Umuntu Ngumuntu ngabantu: people are made people through
other people. To seek to live by oneself, i.e. alone, is
to deny one's 'personhood' and personal growth.
Participation in the community binds people together and
offers a richly textured life.
Just as they play an active part in such organisations as
trade unions, African men should play an. active part in
the affairs· of their families. Love and fellow-feeling
should not be displayed in relationships outside the
homes only but should be displayed in the family circles
also. This is real ubuntu/ujamaa or 'familyhood'.
Participation in the community should be encouraged
because it binds people together and brings life.
-190-
The traditional African 'familyhood' should be extended
beyond the confines of the extended family to embrace the
entire African nation, and all nations of the world.
When this is achieved all sorts of human misery can be
prevented.
One thing must be emphasised: the nuclear family can
never shift its primary responsibility to the extended
family and the flagrant abuse of the system by
irresponsible children who dump children on family
members must be opposed vehemently.
Chapter 6 dealt with social engineering and the family in
Africa. Here I mentioned the changes that occured and
which still have to be made to ensure the upliftment of
the African people: their standard of living and their
moral standard in general.
Changes will have to be made in all spheres of life
throughout the continent of Africa to bring about peace
and stability, without which proper running of our
societies cannot be achieved.
Social conditions will have to be improved by extending
democracy beyond the narrow racial base to all citizens.
Capitalism and apartheid should be replaced by real
democracy which will promote mutual trust and co-
operation. Discrimination and. reverse discrimination
must be outrooted.
Every citizen should be given the opportunity to
adequately carry out his family responsibility. In the
case of migrant workers· this can be achieved by allowing
married men to settle with their families in towns and
cities.
-191-
Resources should be made equally available to all people
in the rural as well as urban areas so as to improve the
standard of living and therefore of the family life of
all citizens.
To stem the rising tide of alcoholism recreational
facilities should be created. Families are being broken
by excessive use of alcohol.
The state should ensure that the structure of society
offers all human beings an existence worthy of man.
In the economic sphere doors should be opened to people
of all races to enable them to participate in various
industries. Shares and trade licences should be made
available to all citizens who are interested. This will
help to raise the standard of living of all families thus
enabling them to bring up their children well.
Racial discrimination in schools should be abolished as
this has led to racial conflicts and unnecessary
bloodshed.
Women should not be denied the opportunity to seek work
of their choice. Traditional laws barring them from
doing so should be abolished.
The government has to maintain the individual rights of
all its citizens and should combat the oppression and
exploitation of one group by another. As Christians any
structure that is being neglected or denied the chance to
grow must remain the object of our criticism.
In chapter 7 I discussed fully the role of Christiani ty
in Africa: the part played by missionaries in education
-192-
and health and the part played by the church in the lives
of the people in general.
Christians and believers all over the world are called to
transform human realities into salvation realities to
enable the Good News of Jesus's salvation to become
incarnated in the societies in which they live and to
turn economics and politics into salvation economics and
politics.
The need to respond to this call is one of the reasons
why the church continues to play an active role in the
economic, political and social dimensions of development.
Religion influences people in various ways:
It provides the material out of which all those whose
hearts are open to God's Word may build a sense of
purpose and security.
It provides people with unlimited sources of beliefs
about rewards and punishments for proper and improper
behaviour. Thus religion has a powerful and important
control function by instilling a sense of right and
wrong.
By adjusting their behaviour to the requirements of their
religion, individuals are enabled to know whether they
are right and through this knowledge to acquire a sense
of peace and security.
In the trouble-torn continent of Africa - a continent in
which large numbers of officers in key positions are
blinded by an insatiable desire for power and wealth -
there is a strong and urgent need for all leaders and
followers alike to open their hearts to receive God's
Word and to allow Christ's indwelling spirit to guide
-193-
them in everything they do. There is no other solution
to the problems which is facing the peoples of Africa.
-194-
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